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  1. #1
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    Default DS starting daycare soon and I am getting really nervous

    DS , 14 month old ,is about to start family daycare from Monday. We went to the lady's house two weeks ago for about an hour and really loved her. Unfortunately she only got one day available at the moment but she said if any vacancies come up in the future, we will be her priority. We loved her and the location is great considering it is walking distance from where we live since I dont drive. I know one day a week would't be great to help DS settle in, but hopefully she will have other days coming up. DS has never been with others other than me and dad as we are new to this city with no family and friends. I am not sure how he will cope with new carer and new environment. I talked to the lady last time if I could stay with DS for few hours at the beginning, she suggested staying for one hour or so and leave so that he can get used to it. Her minimum hour per day is 7 hours. Dh says I should let DS stay there for 7 hours, because it will be only for one day. My thought was to stay with him for one hour and see how it goes and leave him by himself for 2 hour or so because it is his first day. Now I dont know what to do, I feel really nervous and feeling like it will traumatize DS. How should I arrange the first day? any ideas please? would he settle in there? Another problem here is I always feed him to sleep, the lady said she will pat to sleep but I cant see it will work on my DS, will he sleep for her?

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    My kids have been in family day care for years and all I can say is try not to worry about his sleeping. It's truly amazing what they will do at daycare that they won't do at home! You have to do what you feel comfortable with but I would leave my kid there for the 7 hours, or something like 9-3?

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    HLE  (20-01-2013)

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    Default DS starting daycare soon and I am getting really nervous

    Please don't stress OP! I'm a family day care educator and had a little girl (2years 3 months old) start with me last February only one day a week, she had only been away from her mum for a maximum of 10 mins at any one time, she was cuddled to sleep every sleep time, she slept with her parents, even still spoon feed by her parents. The first day she she was extremely quiet and at sleep time cried for only 4 mins while I patted her before she feel asleep. She has grown now into this beautiful confident little girl.

    I have rules set for my parents the first is drop off should be kept under 5 mins. The reason for this is the longer parents stay the longer it takes for the LOs to settle in for the day. And I too have a minimum of 7 hours each day. This gives the LO time to realise Mummy is gone and it shows them that Mummy always comes back. Honestly if you LO cries when you leave within 5 mins of you leaving they would have stopped and be running around playing. I have had all of my LOs in my daycare for over a year now and all of them have their days still that they try to push their parents by crying etc so please font feel bad.

    Within a very short period your LO will be settled in and getting excited every time you tell him that it's daycare day. I love hearing the parents tell me that their LOs ask if they can come to see me on the days their not booked in. :-)

    If you have any concerns or worries please just send me a pm.

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    HLE  (20-01-2013)

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    Default Re: DS starting daycare soon and I am getting really nervous

    thank you very much, good to hear positive stories, I just packed his bag for tomorrow and feeling like it is somehow a big day for both of us. I've decided to let him stay there 10 to 5, but will see what happens. I do comfort myself that it is for his best so that he can play and interact with other kids.Hopefully tomorrow will be a good start.

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    Default DS starting daycare soon and I am getting really nervous

    My DD started at daycare at about that age one day a week. It was so strange the first time I left her as like you I had never really left her with anyone. I think I did 1/2 day the first time but she did so well that the following week she did a full day. I just rang a couple of times to check how she was going. I thought that if she was upset or not settling I could always go and get her. Could u call a few times in the day to check how he is doing and go from there?

    I agree with PP you would believe the things they can get them to do at daycare that they won't do at home! I rekon they see what other kids are doing and follow along, also it is such a set routine so that helps too. At daycare my DD lays on her little floor mat and goes straight to sleep along side all the other 2 yr olds! Imagine getting her to that at home!

    Good luck, I'm sure he will do brilliantly and have a super fun day!

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    HLE  (20-01-2013)

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    Default DS starting daycare soon and I am getting really nervous

    Good luck op! I just wanted to say that my dd started daycare around that age and she was still bf and feeding to sleep. I was so stressed about how she would sleep but she didn't make a fuss whatsoever! She is now 2 and a bit and I still bf to sleep when she's at home with me but she sleeps perfectly without it at daycare! He will be absolutely fine! Xx

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    Default Re: DS starting daycare soon and I am getting really nervous

    Thank you all, so much comforting to hear all positive stories, I feel much better now! I decided to stay at the park near to the lady's house for a while so that I can pop in if he gets very upset, and I will definitely be calling her multiple times. And for his sleep, hope he will turn out as you all have mentioned, i dont want to stop feeding him to sleep just because he is going to daycare, I enjoy feeding and it is less stressful. I am not a socialised person and I dont want him to turn out like me, I want him to be someone who enjoys being with others and good at socializing and this is my main point putting him in daycare. And you are right he can learn a lot from threre than being at home. so seems I have to be very strong with my feelings.

    Sent from my Transformer Prime TF201 using BubHub

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    Default DS starting daycare soon and I am getting really nervous

    Good luck, I'm sure he will be fine!

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    Default DS starting daycare soon and I am getting really nervous

    How did it all go today OP?

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    Default Re: DS starting daycare soon and I am getting really nervous

    Hi all, so today was a big day for us. We arrived there at 10. I stayed with him till 11.30. He cried for several times even when I was there fearing I would leave or when I mentioned to the lady about leaving. I really think he understands what we are talking about. Then sneaked out at 11.30. I wandered around the lady's house with tears falling down my face non stop. I knew he would get quite upset and he would cry. This was the first time I left him with someone else in a totaly strange environment. I called the lady about 20mins later and she told me DS was crying on and off and she thought he would be fine, not to worry about it. I can hear on the other side of the phone he was crying. I went to the nearby shopping centre and called the lady at 1. She said DS was not crying and having his lunch. I felt a relief because I thought he may not eat there because of the distress. I had a missed call at around 1.30 from the lady I did not hear. When I saw it, I knew bub needed me. I immediately headed to the lady's house while trying to call back. When I reached her on the phone, she told me DS was now sleeping and he cried a lot before sleep and asked if I could pick him up when he woke up because he might cry again after waking. I asked if I could go in now and she said ok. When I entered the house, he was sleeing on the mattress alongside other two kids. He was shivering in his sleep from time to time. My heart broke, I knew he must cried himself to sleep, he would never ever sleep by himself at home. He woke up about 15mins later and the moment he cried I ran in and hugged him and took him to the another room to give him a feed. He stared at me for so long. After that I sat with him to play with others for a while and left. I thought he wouldnt smile at me any more and he would not be a happy baby anymore. But I was wrong, after coming home he went back to his oldself immediately laughing, talking and running. This was a huge relief. I can see that after a few times, he might be get used to there and gets less upset.

    I comforted myself that it was for his good so that he can have close relationship with others. Besides I cant keep him with me forever, there will time he starts school and it is better to prepare him for the seperation from early on. So now I am feeling better as well. Hopefully next time he will be less stressed and will get better each time. Thank you all for being so much supportive!

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