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  1. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by ciaomamma View Post
    Wow I'm very surprise by the response I would have thought most people had joint accounts (mostly because my parents did so I'm going with that example). I agree separate with access (which we did until we bought a house and got married) is a totally different thing than having secret accounts. I read an article which was posted on a SAHM website, a financial expert was urging SAHMs to do just that, open a secret account and skim off the family expenses and save just in case... I found this very disturbing, like I love you but I don't trust you... I would feel betrayed if my DH save his bonuses (never telling me he got them) putting them on a secret account so he could spend as he pleased.
    It's not disturbing. It's good advice. I know a few SAHM who do this and also deposit money such as Medicare refunds etc. having done family law for a few years it's bl00dy sensible.

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  3. #62
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    Default Re: Do you have separate bank accounts as your spouse?

    I agree that having joint accounts doesn't rule out dishonesty. I have a "friend" who got herself a credit card and racked up a $6k debt without her husband's knowledge. She was a SAHM at the time so no means of paying back the debt so got her dad to get a loan to pay it off. She told her DH that all her shopping were ebay bargains. Two years on and he still doesn't know but they both brag about how they have the best relationship ever.

  4. #63
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    Default Do you have separate bank accounts as your spouse?

    Having a joint account makes sense to us as we have a mortgage and the more money in the offset account, the more interest we save on the mortgage. We both have a weekly cash allowance to do with what we please, and we always talk about big purchases that we both want to make.
    I think each couple just does what works for them.

  5. #64
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    Default Do you have separate bank accounts as your spouse?

    I know a few women with secret credit cards or bank accounts. Their DHs have no idea. Personally I could never lie to my DH like that

  6. #65
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    Default Do you have separate bank accounts as your spouse?

    Quote Originally Posted by btmac View Post
    I agree it's not great to have secrets but having watched what happened to my sister when her exDH took off I urge every SAHM to have something set aside!

    My sister was full time SAHM (first not a mum while TTC) on her ex's insistence. He took care of all the finances. They had joint accounts but she had an 'allowance' per se that she could spend. This allowance was on her CC and he would supposedly pay the balance each month. Well when he took off he stripped all the accounts, took all special repayments out of the mortgage (over $150k), had done no more than pay minimum balance on her credit card and store cards for over 18 months so she had over $20k in CC debt, had made payment plans with mobile phone and home phone and electricity providers. He then took off overseas and left her in it. She lost the house, her car, the phone and power would have been turned off had it not been for our parents paying the bills (this was with a 9 month old baby). She also would have ha to go bankrupt if not for our parents! Ex DH is still overseas (now 13 years later) and has never had to pay for his sins and has no contact with my darling niece.

    So while I is great to trust your partner - they had been together over 10 years. You still need to protect yourself and your kids!
    A properly set up joint account will require both parties to sign for any major changes or withdrawals, so what happened to your sister was very unfortunate.

  7. #66
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    Default Re: Do you have separate bank accounts as your spouse?

    Quote Originally Posted by ciaomamma View Post
    Wow I'm very surprise by the response I would have thought most people had joint accounts (mostly because my parents did so I'm going with that example). I agree separate with access (which we did until we bought a house and got married) is a totally different thing than having secret accounts. I read an article which was posted on a SAHM website, a financial expert was urging SAHMs to do just that, open a secret account and skim off the family expenses and save just in case... I found this very disturbing, like I love you but I don't trust you... I would feel betrayed if my DH save his bonuses (never telling me he got them) putting them on a secret account so he could spend as he pleased.
    It's not (always) about trust. And I dont think financial advisers suggest saving to spend, it's saving for emergencies. If my df skimmed X amount out of the budget, then lost his job and went "well actually I have $ squirreled away so it's okay".



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    Last edited by Boobycino; 20-01-2013 at 08:17.

  8. #67
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    Default Do you have separate bank accounts as your spouse?

    We have desperate accounts that our pays go into, and have had a joint account since we moved in together, df has a direct debit set up which covers all the rent, bills and his contribution to savings, & I transfer my savings contribution to that account. He pays rent and bills I pay for food, as I earn considerably less. We each pay for our own petrol and car maintainance.

    When we have a mortgage we will probably get our incomes deposited into our joint account and then pay an allowance to our personal accounts.. But we'll decide that When it comes to it! Right now this works for us

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    Joint accounts. It is what works for us, especially with a mortgage (having as much money in the offset as possible). We discuss major purchases but otherwise use the money freely, no allowances etc.

  10. #69
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    Quote Originally Posted by felicita View Post
    We have a joint account and our separate accounts.
    I think you need to have enough in just your own name to pay day to day expenses if your partner dies and your joint account then gets frozen. Saves having to race to withdraw a pile of cash before the bank is notified. Current bills and stuff you'd just sob at the company tell them to wait until after probate, but that method won't provide for new or ongoing expenses like food for you or your children.
    Your joint account won't get frozen if your partner dies. If its in joint names the money in the account is yours. Any accounts in your partners name only would be harder to access.

    We have two joints accounts. One for mortgage and bills and one for savings. We also each have our own account. We have a joint credit card and I also have my own credit card. We know what each other earns and has. My money is mostly put into our joint saving and for me to buy myself things, pay for my petrol and train tickets etc. DHs mostly goes into the joint account or credit card to pay mortgage, food and bills. He also puts some in our joint savings and has money in his own account to spend. Seems to work perfectly for us. I wouldn't like not having some money in my own account personally.

  11. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lillystar View Post
    Your joint account won't get frozen if your partner dies. If its in joint names the money in the account is yours. Any accounts in your partners name only would be harder to access.
    OK. It's good to know that's how it is (or how it is now).
    My mum had been giving me advice from her experience 30+ years ago when my dad died.


 

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