Regarding the secret account for Sahm I don't actually have a problem with this. When people break up (if they do) then a lot of the times the women has nothing to fall back on.
You should have some money to have bond, home loan, food, etc
There are a lot of women who are left with nothing and end up in shelters or their parents places or worse stuck in a bad relationship.
Its all well and good to say my husband will never do that but in a lot of cases the breakups are not sunshine and roses and being financially depended on a man you are leaving or has left you is a bad idea.
By the time you start spliting assets or going through court you might be homeless.
It has nothing to do with trust or love.
Everyone starts relationships with the best intentions no one plans to break up but the reality is that many women end up with very little.
And then there is the children to consider.
It's like life insurance your not planning on dying at 40 but you are protecting your children in case it happens.