It's a great article and something I feel strongly about.
After what exDH has done to me, I have zilch respect left for him as a husband/father/person in general. But he is still my sons father and always will be, bagging him out will only cause resentment later in life.
I'm a strong believer that children will always learn the truth one day in these situations anyway - I certainly did with my parents. I don't need to damage DS's relationship with his Dad at such a young age. One day he will know what he did to us and form his own opinions anyway.
I don't bag him out to DD though he sure as hell would deserve it. He has no part in her life by his own choosing, but I don't want her to grow up thinking that maybe he was actually a decent guy... And I just made it all up. So I say nothing bad.
I let her have her thoughts. She says he's a bad dad. I ask her why. I say, "well yes that doesn't sound very nice does it?" But not go, "yep I hate him."
Not around her, not to her.
She can make up her own mind without me telling her what to think.
When my parents said things about the other parent it didn't make me feel bad about myself. What it did do is make me not want to spend time with them because I didn't want to hear it.
No kid wants to hear their parent badmouthing the other parent. It is basically asking them to choose which isn't fair.
I was lucky that I was old enough to choose who I lived with and so I chose when I wanted to see my other parent. It improved our relationship when they finally realised that I wouldn't listen to negative things.
If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.
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Agree we never say bad thing about BM around DSD. Doesn't mean we don't vent behind closed doors sometimes but even that is farther apart these days
This is great!!! I have always made sure DH hasn't said things about DSS's mum even when her actions are totally infuriating. I only wish she would read this.
We don't bag FOB or his wife to DS (7) and it is infact court ordered that we aren't allowed to (either them or us!)
FOB/wife however... Well today DS told me "they called you the naughty B word mum" and "they said you're fat"... Along with "they said I would go live with them and not see you anymore".
It makes me want to tear my hair out.
Poor DS was so distraught that my heart broke for him. I hate FOB for it.
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