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  1. #31
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    Sounds reasonably normal for private hospitals, but also a little light on the details and maybe the mum knows more and didn't explain in great detail or maybe she just didn't know stuff (like what the heart rate dropped to).

    Maybe she was offered an internal earlier & declined. Maybe she even had one and didn't mention it to you. Maybe she'd asked for an epidural on arrival. Private hospitals are pretty happy to offer epidurals early in labour ... and maybe she was in agony on arrival & the anaesthetist was already there, etc. I've had internals before each of my epidurals just to make sure I wasn't fully dilated, so I thought that was normal, but I also know that the more internals you have the greater risk of infection, so maybe they decided to do the epidural without an internal for some reason.

    My dd had formula as a top up for the first 2 - 3 days, but she was big (4.4kg) and hungry (aka starving) and had low blood sugars (I had gestational diabetes). Just cause your friend had big boobs didn't mean she had heaps of milk on day 1 & 2, virtually no-one has heaps of milk at that point. Colostrum yes and the stuff is liquid gold (very high in energy), but it's not big in volume at that point. Your friend said the formula was so she could sleep, but that is what she told you, but was it cause she'd been BFing constantly for 6 hours and was in agony from her c-section scar and in need of a couple of hours of rest? Remember she just had a c-section and may not have been even able to get out of bed the first night, so going to the night nursery is a safe option and it wouldn't have been for the whole night at all.

    My dd went to the night nursery for a portion of every night. The first night was cause I needed sleep and she was coughing up sputum so they wanted to watch her in case she needed suctioning (she didn't). The other nights she was SUPER unsettled (she had a broken collar bone) and nothing we tried helped her settle for long with me and I was exhausted. So, she spent maybe 3 - 4 hours in the nursery. To me, I would have been better at home cause dh would have had her in the lounge room & I would have got sleep, so comments about 'get used to a baby that cries' are really not helpful.

  2. #32
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by 4underfour View Post
    I certainly agree with that. In fact, if I was better informed my first birth and my twin birth would have been very different. I must have misunderstood your first post, I thought you were saying she definitely wouldn't be happy with that birth when she looked back on it.
    I agree if I had of been better informed my first birth may of been different too. No worries

  3. #33
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    Busy-Bee is offline Offending people since before Del :D
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    I'm not quite sure what normal is but it doesn't sound optimal (with the obvious disclaimer that unless she wanted the birth this way)

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    Default Does this sound 'normal' to you?

    As for the after birth part: I was private and had a csec and that doesn't sound normal to me. Infact it sounds like the hospital isn't very breastfeeding friendly.

    As a first time mum I didn't really know much. The staff could have pulled a swifty on me like they did your friend. I'm just fortunate they were breastfeeding friendly.

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    Default Does this sound 'normal' to you?

    I can't believe people think its ok to hand your couple of hours old infant to a babysitter. I don't even know what to say about that really or the rest. Although I've heard a lot of similar stories in private hospitals.
    Giving formula as a standard practice is terrible. Formula destroys a breastfeeding infants gut flora, that's well documented.

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    Default Does this sound 'normal' to you?

    Thanks everyone

    Maybe it was just one or two midwives that she seemed to get, perhaps it's not 'standard' policy for this hospital. At least I hope not, they are very popular here!

    To answer a few queries....bub was only 2.9kg, so not a big hungry baby requiring top-ups. Latched straight away and mum doesn't seem to have any issues or pain - I watched her feeding today and marveled at how easy it looked (I had lots of pain initially). He has been quite settled according to mum, in fact so far she says 'it's easy' - to which I laughed!

    The formula was not offered as a top-up, it was to be given 'instead of' b/f purely so mum could sleep over night. This was offered 1st/2nd nights which my friend accepted, assuming it was the norm. Then on the 3rd night her mum happened to be there and said 'no way', knowing it could cause nipple confusion at such a young age. My friend knew nothing about that so then readily agreed not to f/f again. But it was being offered as standard each night, which is the part I found odd. Nothing against f/f per say.

    So far she has not had much pain from the CS either, loves the drugs they're giving her! Was up and walking around the next day, so no I don't think she's struggled with that aspect which made them feel she needed the break every night.

    Like I originally said, I was more curious to see if this was normal as it was completely different to my private experience.

    Oh here's one more thing I forgot!! This hospital also allowed visitors on the first night for the woman she was sharing with (was moved to single room next day) at 10.30pm!!! The lady was Jewish and being a Saturday, her visitors couldn't come until after sundown. They had it pre-approved with the nurses, but no one bothered to ask my friend if she minded having people keep her awake until 11.45pm - on the day she have birth! THAT part she was p!ssed at, lol.

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    Default Does this sound 'normal' to you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Etienne View Post
    I can't believe people think its ok to hand your couple of hours old infant to a babysitter. I don't even know what to say about that really or the rest. Although I've heard a lot of similar stories in private hospitals.
    Giving formula as a standard practice is terrible. Formula destroys a breastfeeding infants gut flora, that's well documented.
    I handed my baby over for 5hrs on night two, to a 'babysitter' aka the night nursery. I hadn't slept in 3 days and almost died having my child. They have their place. Never was formula mentioned in the private hospital I birthed at, and on night 3 they wouldn't take baby to nursery even though I was still very ill, because my milk had come in, instead she slept on my chest and the midwives kept checking on us.
    I know women who have walked into hospital, demanded an epidural, demanded drugs to dry up their milk, and been very happy with that. We have to remember that we all have choices and can't be forced into anything, public or private.
    Your friend sounds happy OP, I hope she is enjoying her bubba.

  8. #38
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    Default Does this sound 'normal' to you?

    My prem bubba went into the special care nursery shortly after his birth and I was asked to shower and dress and move to my room on the ward before I was allowed to see him again. Then we had skin to skin contact, then I was asked to go try to sleep, but I couldn't so I went back to the SCN and the nurse wouldn't let me pick him up because he was sleeping so I expressed colostrum instead... I remember sitting in the ward like a sack of potatoes, a mum without her baby in the bassinet beside the bed like everyone else... I went back to the SCN at like 4 am and picked him up because I'd psyched myself up to telling the nurse that he was mine and I was allowed to hold him(!)...
    I guess my point is that when we are in hospital, especially with the first baby, we are vulnerable and easily manipulated by staff because they are the authority figures. I hope your friend looks back on her experience without any regrets OP, but yeah I don't think she had a typical experience

  9. #39
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    Default Does this sound 'normal' to you?

    Quote Originally Posted by MummaOJ View Post
    I handed my baby over for 5hrs on night two, to a 'babysitter' aka the night nursery. I hadn't slept in 3 days and almost died having my child.
    I wish I'd had the opportunity to do this. I hadnt slept in 2 days and after emergency csection I was completely unable to do a single thing, I couldn't move let alone get out of bed to comfort my bub on the first night. I feel some sleep and time for my body to recover would have aided greatly in breastfeeding and my recovery.

  10. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Etienne View Post
    I can't believe people think its ok to hand your couple of hours old infant to a babysitter. I don't even know what to say about that really or the rest. Although I've heard a lot of similar stories in private hospitals.
    Giving formula as a standard practice is terrible. Formula destroys a breastfeeding infants gut flora, that's well documented.
    I think that's a bit unfair. For me, I was a tired, exhausted mum who had just been through a long-ish labour and what I now think of as a reasonably traumatic birth who was exhausted and couldn't sleep because I kept listening for my baby cause I was paranoid that something was going to happen to her. I was grateful for a rest, especially since I was in for four nights and I got pretty much zero sleep otherwise. If bub woke up, or she needed a feed during the two hours she was gone overnight, they brought her back to me.

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