+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 10 of 10
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    5
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    2
    Reviews
    0

    Default So confused :(

    Hi everyone,

    I am just seeking some advice on my 5 year old..
    He has always been a bit energetic and lately he has gotten out of control.

    I recently had a another child and for the past couple of weeks he has been trying to hurt her. I caught him the other day putting his hand over her mouth and held it there... he goes to his dads every second weekend and he has 2 step sons that i have been told are quite rough with their new born.. i don't want my son having this same behavior. He starts school this year and i don't wanna to get the call to say my son is bulling other kids...

    He had a sleep over with his cousin the other day and was trying to hurt him aswell.. i Know the whole saying boys will be boys but this kind of a behavior for a 5 year old isnt (in my Eyes) acceptable. I don't want to stop him from going over there but i carnt have him trying to seriously hurt his sister or any other kids...

    I just want some advice how i can handle all of this behavior he is developing from his other step brothers.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    darwin
    Posts
    2,583
    Thanks
    727
    Thanked
    650
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    oh gosh!! I Dont have any helpful advice in this area (my daughter is only 10 months) but i just want to send you some great big hugs. What an awful situation. Could you maybe have a chat with your childs dad and join forces to stop the behavior. Sorry im not any help. Hope it gets better soon.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Sydney, NSW
    Posts
    4,087
    Thanks
    1,466
    Thanked
    1,215
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I don't have my own children yet but when I was born my sister was 5 and she constantly tried to hurt me. From putting pillows on my face to slapping me on the cheek and leaving me with red marks on my face. First thing my mother did was made an appt with a child psychologist to see why she was doing this. Turns out it was jealousy and resentment at my being born and so my mum was instructed to give my sister "big sister" duties like helping with bathing, changing clothes etc etc but all under supervision of course. By giving her this responsibility she was made to feel useful and slowly she became less mean and more loving towards me.

    In your situation I guess the step brother's wouldn't be helping so I would probably let your DS know that that behaviour in YOUR home is unnacceptable and possibly offer repercussions for agressive behaviour?

    to you and your family.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    5
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    2
    Reviews
    0
    I have aproched him before but i do believe he is encourging this behaviour..
    My son was talking about one of this step brother not sharing and my son hit him and the other boy hit him back and my son went and told his dad about it and and said just hit him back... But he didnt find out the story behind why the other child hit him in the first place... I do not believe in hitting at all... and this really got me angry when i picked up my son last week his dad was mucking around with him and said ( and i quote) "i'll hit you in the d!(k" and then i pulled him up on it then he changed it to (ill hit you in the nuts) and that is still not acceptable and then he said "oh they love it"..

    I don't care if they love it, its wrong.. I could only image what would happen if my son went up to someone and just hit them there... I just don't know what to do anymore.. I have tried to make an effort with their mother but My son's dad will not let me just talk to her apparently its awkward. Don't see how it is.. but what ever...

    I'm just lost for ideas now... i Don't smack anymore because me and my partner were getting accused of beating him. and i've tried the whole naughty corner and taking his toys away from him...

    But nothing is working

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    5
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    2
    Reviews
    0
    i Have tried the big brother duties but he cracks a big fit about it...

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    19,600
    Thanks
    3,256
    Thanked
    4,044
    Reviews
    8
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts

    Default Re: So confused :(

    I would probably want to see a psychologist too. Just to see why he's doing it and how to help.

    Jasper is 4 and adores his baby sister but he does sometimes be rough with her. Sometimes he forgets she's not a toy for him to pick up and play with, if she's crying he doesn't always stop, it's really frustrating because he does love her but he is still doesn't always care that she doesn't want to play or have her arms pulled or something.

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using BubHub

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    206
    Thanks
    7
    Thanked
    76
    Reviews
    0

    Default So confused :(

    I can't offer any advise (I only have a 2yo) but couldn't read and run.
    just wanted to give you some massive

    My only thought would be taking him to your GP and getting a referral to a child psychologist.
    As he is getting older he might need someone who isn't mum or dad to talk out his frustrations with.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    5
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    2
    Reviews
    0
    thank everyone.. I think i will take him back to a gp about these problems.

  9. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to 2Kids01 For This Useful Post:

    Boobycino  (16-01-2013),MonkeySeeMonkeyDo  (16-01-2013)

  10. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    darwin
    Posts
    2,583
    Thanks
    727
    Thanked
    650
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    is it in a court order that you have shared custody. Maybe stop the visits to his dads for x amount of time and see if there is improvement. Maybe Discuss with fob that the child is not going back unless things change (ie: no hitting kids in privates and they nee to work on different discipline for yoour child- no hitting)
    defs see a child psyc tho to determine it it is infact the influence of the other kids or its something deeper- jealousy? Good luck

  11. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    5
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    2
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by MonkeySeeMonkeyDo View Post
    is it in a court order that you have shared custody. Maybe stop the visits to his dads for x amount of time and see if there is improvement. Maybe Discuss with fob that the child is not going back unless things change (ie: no hitting kids in privates and they nee to work on different discipline for yoour child- no hitting)
    defs see a child psyc tho to determine it it is infact the influence of the other kids or its something deeper- jealousy? Good luck
    I would love to just cut off vists all together for the fact i have gone through hell and back with the girlfriends he has had. im at my wits end with the discrimination I have to endure with these females. the false accusations towards me and my partner... the fact he doesnt get involved with anything to do with his son and he thinks its only acceptable to only see him every 2 weeks and not even have any contact with him within those two weeks...

    Sorry just had a rage attack then


 

Similar Threads

  1. Confused...
    By Ruby117 in forum Conception issues & ttc
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 10-05-2012, 16:43
  2. so confused
    By tantom in forum Non-IVF fertility assistance
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 23-02-2012, 07:41
  3. Confused...
    By on a mission in forum Maternity & Parental Leave
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 24-01-2012, 21:28

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Nice Pak Products
Australian Made and Owned. The Baby U Goat Milk Skincare range is enriched with soothing goats milk sourced from country, Victoria. Goat's milk has a pH level close to that of our own skin and contains natural sources of amino acids and vitamins.
sales & new stuffsee all
True Fairies
True Fairies is the first interactive website where children can engage and speak with a real fairy through the unique webcam fairy portal. Each session is tailored to the child, and is filled with enchantment and magic.
Visit website to find out more!
featured supporter
Einsteinz Music
Fun & interactive music classes!
Classes are taught by professional musicians! Children are taught the fundamentals of music: beat, pitch, rhythm and tempo through hands-on experience. Click for more details!!!
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!