I definitely would. I don't see it as not trusting them or condescending. I see it as them not having to second guess themselves the whole time youre away, making life easier for them so they know how things run. Kids operate better with routine etc and its good for them to know how things roll. They can choose to do it your way or not, they'll soon figure out why you say no chocolate.
I think it's fine OP, they're family.
[QUOTE=mrsoptomistic;7015955]No, BUT having said that, every single time I leave my DD with my sister, I say, "I know she'll be fine - you know I am paranoid, would you please just watch (1 or 2 important things) ie: the pool and front yard? It would make me feel much more comfortable saying it - even though I know you don't need to be told!"
This is what I was going to suggest - put it on yourself: 'I'm always so worried about my son doing x and y! However do you stop yourself from worrying about it?' or the oldie but goodie pre-emptive thanks can work: 'thanks soooooooo much for respecting our feelings about healthy snacks'. You might not change their behaviour but they'll definitely know how you feel!
Open I have done this.
Mil is one of those people that forgets everything. I wrote a nice page on what not to do and not to feed him.
Ok yes ds has allergies. It is important to note medication and such but she didn't even look at my list.
She fed him chocolate and normal milk. Called me not 2 hours later to ask questions. The list was a waste off time. Thankfully I was only away for the day.
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I think writing a list of "do nots," would very much offend me.
So far they've kept at least 5 kids alive until past the age of 10... they won't be stupid. They may do things differently to you, but it's 2 weeks and your kids will not likely suffer from 2 weeks of different rules.
I'd perhaps give them some info regarding foods they like, nap times, etc... but not a list of do nots. If you cannot trust them to not kill your kids, you shouldn't be leaving your children with them.
If i was looking after someone else's kids for 2 weeks...i would LOVE them to write out a few things like normal routines and settling techniques that work well with them and fave foods or outings. As part of that I am sure that by stressing the good things, you could make a few suggestions of things that don't work with your kids.
WHen my mum came down when i was on bed rest and it was highly likely that I would be hospitalised...i wrote out a heap of stuff for her because DS was older and he had school and after school activities as well as allergies and it was easier than her having to ask me everything each time/day.
It's all about how it is worded...I would def be leaving them with some sort of idea of what the kids "normally" do. And let them know it is not for them to "follow" but incase the kids are not settling or acting out.
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