I am feeling quite blue recently. Some days I feel that I am in control and things are well but some days I feel otherwise.
DS1 is 7 and recently been very testing. He seems to challenge my every instruction. When I told him to come bathe he would say he has important things to do, and whether he can bathe the next day. When I say no he would protest. When I say come I read you a book now (usually during bed-time before DS2 arrived 3 months ago), I would try to slot it in the day when bub doesnt need my attention. He would try to delay too. He has 101 things he wanted to do nowadays...using the internet, watching tele, drawing, playing etc. I tried telling him that when his bro doesnt need my attention, I need to get him bathed and read him a book etc etc cos I wont be able to do so when bub needs me. He says he understand what I mean but he reacts otherwise. Very often my requests and his protests end up in a sort of squabble. I must really insist then he would relent but would give me this glare.
We have DS1 for 7 years now, he has had every attention from DH and me. It was a long journey before we have DS2. I am so happy to be a mother again. But at the moment, I feel very lousy. I feel like I am losing my big boy. I feel like I am losing control over him. Is this normal behaviour for a 7YO? Or is he reacting because of his brother? He says he finds his bro cute but we can see that he is jealous too. He helps out with his bro whenever I ask him to.
I feel very inadequate at the moment. I was on cloud nine a while back but suddenly I feel quite down. I feel like I am not a good mum to DS1 but I want to be with DS2 so much. I never expected myself to feel this way cos we really wanted to have another baby, a sibling for DS1 to grow up with.
During these 3 months, DH had spent time out with DS1 and I have also taken DS1 out shopping on my own. We still cuddle him as much as we can, read him books and play board games with him. I definitely spend most time with bub, it cant be helped. He does get reprimanded a fair amount but we also affirm our love for him all the time.
My question is, do kids behave this way at this age? Or is it an issue with jealousy and insecurity? What else should we do?
Please dont judge me as what I have written is just a gist. I cant be squeezing so much content here. It is also like a vent. I know I probably do better with professional counselling and I am thinking of seeing one, but I would love to hear any mum's story which can encourage me.