+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 7 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 66
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    5,865
    Thanks
    986
    Thanked
    3,330
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts

    Default Well that was short lived...

    So I was seeing a guy for a couple of months but we've decided to call it a day. I think it's for the best as he had only just ended his marriage before we started our relationship and clearly wasn't ready. I feel like I'm finally ready after two years to see someone.

    He was the loveliest guy and is gutted that it has to be this way as we both care for each other and are intensely attracted to each other but he knows he has to sort himself out first.

    I'm surprising myself with how much this is affecting me. A few months ago even the thought of being with someone made me shudder. This was a very quick, deep romance and he really swept me off my feet and had me rethinking all of my feelings and decisions about being single. Now I am struggling to completely cut ties with him. We've still hooked up a few times since parting ways and have been texting each other almost daily. It's easy to be like that because it still feels like we are together even though we aren't.

    Last night I texted him to let him know that I didn't have it in me to do this. I understand he needs time to heal but I can't be the person waiting in the background hopeful that we'll end up together.

    He often tells me he misses me and the thought of me being with someone else saddens him - but I think it's hurting me in the long run by being with him but not 'with him'.

    Sorry I know this is a pointless post. I just feel so disappointed that I've managed to go from feeling on top of the world, happy within my singledom and just enjoying life .... To going through a very fast emotional journey and now I'm licking my wounds over something that was so short lived. I feel quite ashamed actually and more than anything really naive and silly.
    Last edited by Theboys&me; 15-01-2013 at 22:12.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    NSW
    Posts
    2,354
    Thanks
    165
    Thanked
    531
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default Well that was short lived...

    I think that you should take things slow and try and work things out...

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    4,765
    Thanks
    1,903
    Thanked
    2,790
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Don't feel silly, you gave it a shot - there's nothing to be ashamed of about that!

    You KNOW that you can be happy being single, and you will get there again.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    12,292
    Thanks
    1,571
    Thanked
    1,225
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Past Moderator - Thank you
    Bubhub Blogger
    It certainly will continue to hurt you to be in that situation and stay there. The limbo, the waiting...

    It's horrible. No advice, just lots of hugs

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to Izy For This Useful Post:

    Eko  (15-01-2013)

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    5,865
    Thanks
    986
    Thanked
    3,330
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts

    Default Well that was short lived...

    Thanks ladies. I think it's just disappointing to even have to feel these emotions when I'd found myself so happy before we met. It's hard because there's no bad blood with either of us ... Just bad timing.

    It's a difficult situation when we both WANT to be together but know at this stage we NEED to be apart because ultimately it would result in him carrying baggage he's not dealt with into our relationship. He was really intense and sort of relying on me to make him happy .. Which I always did - until he was on his own and then he was really down. Ho hum ... Wish I could just fast forward a few weeks to where it's not consuming my thoughts ...

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    8,705
    Thanks
    581
    Thanked
    647
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Bugger. I had similar feelings when XDP and I broke up, although I felt silly because normally, I don't let people in, but on this occasion I took a chance and when I did and it didn't work- I felt like my head was saying to my heart "Huh- see, I told you so".
    I wont go there again. It's not worth the heart ache, and the time wasted mourning over the loss when I feel I should be concentrating on the one thing that matters (and that never disapoints)- my son. But I were to give advice to you, I'd say, at least you gave it a go, and although I don't think it's in the best interest for yourself or your heart to be in constant contact at the moment- maybe in the future, fate will bring you together again. But for now, I think you need to mentally break up with him (which is always the hardest).

    Big big

  8. #7
    LifeInShadesOfGrey's Avatar
    LifeInShadesOfGrey is offline Just a little bit silly :)
    Winner 2012 - Best Username
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    5,674
    Thanks
    2,052
    Thanked
    1,364
    Reviews
    35
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts

    Default Well that was short lived...

    Don't feel silly, you gave it a go. I hope you start to feel a bit happier soon. Just take it slow, you guys might end up together again when everything settles a bit.

    I wish you best of luck xx

  9. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    5,865
    Thanks
    986
    Thanked
    3,330
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts

    Default Well that was short lived...

    Quote Originally Posted by SimplyMum View Post
    Bugger. I had similar feelings when XDP and I broke up, although I felt silly because normally, I don't let people in, but on this occasion I took a chance and when I did and it didn't work- I felt like my head was saying to my heart "Huh- see, I told you so".
    I wont go there again. It's not worth the heart ache, and the time wasted mourning over the loss when I feel I should be concentrating on the one thing that matters (and that never disapoints)- my son. But I were to give advice to you, I'd say, at least you gave it a go, and although I don't think it's in the best interest for yourself or your heart to be in constant contact at the moment- maybe in the future, fate will bring you together again. But for now, I think you need to mentally break up with him (which is always the hardest).

    Big big
    Wow simplyMum .. That's spot on me!!! I don't let people in - ever!! But this guy I did and I think that's what's made me feel so down now. He chipped away at my wall inside of me that kept me safe and protected (which I don't think is a bad thing) and let me feel really cared for and like I was special. Maybe he's my 'reason' relationship - you know the saying reason, season, lifetime. Maybe I needed him as much as he needed me so that I could feel like I was someone a person could date. Either way I know you're right (all of you and my myself) in that I have to cut off communication cos trying to be 'friends' doesn't seem to be working as we fall back into our original behaviour. It's hard to stick with logic when your emotional feelings are so strong.

  10. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    12,292
    Thanks
    1,571
    Thanked
    1,225
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Past Moderator - Thank you
    Bubhub Blogger
    I recently watched a friend who was very very very closed off fall into a whirlwind love adventure. It was amazingly intense and beautiful. And then it ended, and she was absolutely gutted. Was saying 'thats why I don't let anyone in', BUT
    I can see the change in her. I can see her evaluating what really brings her joy in her life and she's much more open with her friends now. It hurt her deeply, but it also awoke her to the fact that she CAN love, and that it's a beautiful feeling when someone is there.

    It was a wonderful transition for her once she got over the pain. Maybe the same will happen for you. Allow you to be open to the idea of a Mr/Mrs right if they come along.

  11. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Izy For This Useful Post:

    Mokeybear  (11-02-2013),MuminMind  (15-01-2013)

  12. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    8,544
    Thanks
    1,351
    Thanked
    2,307
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    I dont get it. If you both really care for each other then why not just wait a while until he has sorted himself out? Surely he is worth waiting for?


 

Similar Threads

  1. Anyone lived in lathlain?
    By firsttimeparents in forum Perth
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 22-12-2012, 22:00
  2. Replies: 3
    Last Post: 07-12-2012, 15:18
  3. If you lived in a rental and...
    By sunnyflower in forum House & Gardens
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 26-07-2012, 12:09

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Ro&Co
Share magical moments this Christmas with this gorgeous gingerbread house. Exclusively available in Brisbane, with FREE delivery in Brisbane Metro areas. Each Christmas Centrepiece is unique and made to order, from $240.
sales & new stuffsee all
Pea Pods
Buy 2 Award Winning Pea Pods Reusable One Size Nappies for only $38 (in your choice of colours) and receive a FREE roll of Bamboo Liners. Don't miss out, we don't usually have discounts on the nappies, so grab this special offer!
Special Offer! Save $12
featured supporter
henry and grace
Summer Cool. We are the only brand in the world to use ultrafine Merino wool to produce the finest, softest & most luxurious garments whilst keeping mum and bub cool and dry. Wear them multiple times before machine washing-hard to believe, but true.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!