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  1. #31
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    I would 100% want to know. That way I have the choice to stay or leave, not him, I would feel so heartbroken to know that someone out there knew my partner was unfaithful to me and was allowing it to go on while I knew nothing.
    I say tell her, but do so gently and be prepared for alot of questions and upset from the wife.

  2. #32
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    I would want to know. It would be awful, devastating, horrible, but I would want to know. I would not enjoy finding out, and a message on fb would be a pretty awful way to have that conversation, but then again there is no nice way to find out.

    If someone is cheating, I think the partner needs to know so they can decide fully informed whether to stay or not.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MissMuppet View Post

    If someone is cheating, I think the partner needs to know so they can decide fully informed whether to stay or not.
    Thia is my thinking too

  4. #34
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    missybubble is offline I'm a strange one, but I'm good at it :)
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    Default If you are in a long term relationship

    Quote Originally Posted by London View Post
    Yes Id wanna know but not from a stranger through a Facebook message.
    If I were your friend Id let this one go. Yes the wife deserves to know her husband is cheating but this just seems..I dunno..messy?
    This - yes the wife should know but I don't think it's your friend's place to say anything. Don't be the bearer of bad news and all that. It's good she wants to do the honourable thing but I think she's best to leave it well alone.

  5. #35
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    Default Re: If you are in a long term relationship

    I have been in two long term relationships where my partner has cheated, one was 3 years and one was 8 years. I wish with all honesty (as much as it tears you apart) that someone knew and had told me sooner!! I wasted years of my life with these men that I whole heartedly trusted. The first guy told me after we broke up and said he planned to marry me anyway and keep the affair going behind my back. The second guy got busted by my BIL kissing a girl out front of our house when I was away for work. That girl was a piece of work, sleeping in my bed with photos up everywhere of me and my man! She knew he was with me but found the whole thing 'funny' apparently.

    Your friend is awesome for breaking it off straight away. His partner needs to be told IMO. Facebook or another way if possible. It's going to hurt no matter what.

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  7. #36
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    Default If you are in a long term relationship

    I would want to know, don't think it would matter how I found out. Don't think hearing it from him would make it hurt any less

  8. #37
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    LifeInShadesOfGrey is offline Just a little bit silly :)
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    Default If you are in a long term relationship

    Quote Originally Posted by butterfly2013 View Post
    I have been in two long term relationships where my partner has cheated, one was 3 years and one was 8 years. I wish with all honesty (as much as it tears you apart) that someone knew and had told me sooner!! I wasted years of my life with these men that I whole heartedly trusted. The first guy told me after we broke up and said he planned to marry me anyway and keep the affair going behind my back. The second guy got busted by my BIL kissing a girl out front of our house when I was away for work. That girl was a piece of work, sleeping in my bed with photos up everywhere of me and my man! She knew he was with me but found the whole thing 'funny' apparently.

    Your friend is awesome for breaking it off straight away. His partner needs to be told IMO. Facebook or another way if possible. It's going to hurt no matter what.

    Sent from my GT-I9300T using BubHub
    I agree with you there.

    My exh was a serial cheater and I had a thought it was happening but not for certain. Anyway after I left him then people then told me that they were waiting for me to leave him, that they knew he was a cheater and it just made me so mad and so pee'd off that no one bothered to tell me sooner. Spared me years of crap.

    So it will hurt but someone has to tell as it sucks finding out down the track that people knew and didn't say a thing.

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  10. #38
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    Default If you are in a long term relationship

    Quote Originally Posted by HugsBunny View Post
    I can't say for sure that I'd want to know, but I CAN say for sure that I wouldn't want to find out via facebook.
    I sort of agree with that!

  11. #39
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    I'd want to know, but I don't know whether I'd believe some random person on facebook.
    I guess I'd wonder why she was saying it otherwise, and if she had details then I'd start asking my partner questions.

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    Quote Originally Posted by LauraH80 View Post
    Really? Doesn't that leave him available to do it again? What if you found out - would YOU leave? Ignorance is bliss with some issues but i think you'd be doing yourself a disservice by having a partner who is willing to cheat on you.
    To me cheating is the consequence of a deeper issue. I do hope I would be able to understand that I have a deep issue in my relationship before Im being told I have a very high fever.

    The thing is, if I'm being told Im being cheated on, I would be very very very emotional and would not be able to work on the deeper issue anymore. I want to believe I would be able to fix my relationship and make it stronger.

    Anyway, all situations are different. I know of relationships where one has strayed, that are still alive and better than ever. I know of other relationship where one has strayed, kept straying and will most probably keep straying.......

    It's not a black and white answer :-)


 

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