For those of you unfamiliar with me... I'm 26 and have a 7.5-year-old-daughter. I've been with DP since mid-2008 and he's not DD's father, obviously, but has taken on that role. He works full-time and earns a decent amount in a fairly stable career, and I've just started working too, after studying. DP is 2 years younger than I am.
I want a baby. I've wanted a baby for years... I've wanted another since DD was 2, basically, but her father didn't want another, and we split up (thankfully) before any more babies happened there... and then I had to "start again," in a relationship and work towards the baby thing again.
DP and I will have been together 5 years in June. I'm 27 this year, he's 25 soon.
We didn't want to have babies until we were in a position (mostly financially) to have one, and of course I have to take into consideration the fact he is younger than I am. I'm now working, and all going well I'll be continuing to work from here on out.
I'm thinking of saying that, sometime next year (when he's 26 and I'm 28 - DD will be 9 that year), that we TTC. If it takes a few months first, etc etc... it basically means that by the time we actually have a new baby, he'll be 27, I'll be 29 and DD will be 10. That's still far too much of a gap for my liking, but I'm happy enough with it. It gives us time to plan, me time to work in my career so I can return to it easily enough afterwards if I want to, etc. It enables that financial preparation that we had wanted.
DP, so far, wants kids... but it seems to be a "sometime," thing... rather than a "by X date," kind of thing for him. I wouldn't care much, except that I've already got DD, and the longer I draw this whole having kids thing out, the longer I am going to be heavily depended on by a child. Even if she's living with us when she's 18, I can still go out without her, kwim? I suppose one benefit of having a baby when she's 10 will mean that if I need to duck to the shops when she's 15 or so, I could always ask her to watch her 5-year-old sibling... or something.
Also keep in mind that DP maybe wants 2 of his own (if he wants more, too bad... the cut off for me is 2 more... lol)... so there's still another to follow after this one, possibly.
I want to travel. Yes, you can do that with kids, but if I do, I want to do it with older kids, not little kids... but I don't want to be in my 60s and doing that. So for me, there's a bit of a time clicking away... I didn't get to do it as a young person, so my only option is once my kids are self-sufficient enough to either come with us and enjoy it, or stay at home cos they're adults.
So do you think I should be able to bring this idea to DP and really push for it to happen. He's so lazy with plan-making that he will be reluctant to agree, even if he's actually okay with the idea... so I will have to push for it.
I basically just need you guys to tell me if it's a reasonable thing to push for or not... because I have anxiety and wuss out easily, basically. lol.