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  1. #1
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    Default Is CC my only option left?

    Please help me, my almost 12 month old DS has always been a terrible sleeper from a few weeks old, but just keeps hitting new lows and i can't take it anymore. He has now started waking every half hour or so through the night, looking for boob to get back to sleep, and screams and cries if it's not available every time, or if i put him back into his sleep position.
    He also doesn't sleep on his back, so if he rolls onto his back he cries, but when i try to roll him back on his tum he screams and struggles and i have to forcibly hold him down and heavily pat for maybe 30 seconds until he calms down then goes back to sleep.
    The no cry sleep solution worked for a few nights, and did improve his day sleeps, but nights are just awful. I have another baby due in a few months and I'm already running on empty, i don't know how long before i break down and won't be able to get up again
    He doensn't have any medical issues like reflux or gas, he has been to a pediatric chiropractor who helped with constipation but said his sleep cant be helped by chiro. We have tried every herbal sleep inducer to no avail. We have bed shared since birth. He is a great eater so isn't hungry, isn't cold or hot, and simply does not settle for his father, who wouldn't help out over night anyway. We can't afford to go over east to a gentle sleep school, or even have a sleep specialist out to the house.
    I don't know if my emotional state i could even attempt to let him cry but i think i am out of options and the alternative that i could break down or hurt him is terrifying. I'm creating a plan to night wean but since he sometimes rejects boob upon waking i don't know how much difference that will make.
    Has anyone had a similar high need sleeper, and managed to help them sleep through at least one sleep cycle? Please help, I'm desperate and need help and any other options than CC.

  2. #2
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    Sleep deprivation sucks! I really feel for you. You sound like me only a couple of months ago. We are due to go to tresillian residential stay in two weeks with 14month old DS. However, with a change of settling technique and a lot of perseverance we are now down to just one waking over night. We were advised to do 'parental presence' and have had a great deal of success. There were tears but at no point did we leave DS. We did a gentle version of it.

    I will explain what we did just in case you want to try... Bear in my mind the first few days are tough but it was well worth it.

    We stopped the constant patting and simply sat next to the cot with a hand on DS back and said shhhhh. He cried and cried the first few times and I gave in and patted him and he instantly went quiet, eyes rolled back in his head and he blissfully went to sleep. The only way he knew to go to sleep was with the patting so it was hard for him to learn how to go to sleep without it. We went longer and longer with not patting before giving in and eventually after a week or so we could just hold our hand on his back and he would go to sleep. Now, a month or so later, we can say goodnight, lay him down and he will go to sleep if he stand in the room. The next step is for us to leave the room before he goes to sleep.

    I hope this helps. Just know you are not alone in this. You're doing a wonderful job.

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Mummablue For This Useful Post:

    lilypily  (30-03-2013),Mulva  (13-01-2013)

  4. #3
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    My now 6 year old was a terrible sleeper and a very light sleeper so any little thing would wake her up it was hell for the first 2 years but she did get through it. Sometimes when I needed a good sleep I would start in my bed and then when she was asleep I would move to the other bed in the room. Could you try maybe switching to bottles at night then leaving one by his side so he can just roll over and drink that by himself?

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    Mulva  (13-01-2013)

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    Default Is CC my only option left?

    I'm heading out the door but will come back later. My DD was exactly like yours at 12 months so I did a bit of my own version of controlled comforting and she started sleeping through 11-12 hrs and night weaned, and still does at 15 months.

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    Mulva  (13-01-2013)

  8. #5
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    It's hard having a high needs sleeper. My 2 year old DS is still like that some days. The only other advice I can add is try getting your DH to put him to bed at night to wean off the night boob feed (maybe a bottle). The first night DH did this DS cried (and I mean screamed) for 2 hours in DH arms. The second night it was an hour. Third night 40 minutes and so on until at the end of the week DH was the "night parent". DS and DH got into their own little routine. If DS got up in the night I would go to him, sit on the floor and either pat or just say shhhh. I tried really hard not to pick him up every time he cried.

    A little crying (whinging) at this age won't hurt them but IMO it still needs to only be a little crying not hysterical crying with no parent intervention.

  9. #6
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    Default Is CC my only option left?

    Have you tried moving him to his cot instead? Some children just don't sleep as well co-sleeping - my 16mth DS wakes constantly if I have him in bed with me, but sleeps right through on his own. He enjoys the room to roll all over in the cot I think!

    Just another idea anyway, with another on the way soon you really need a solution and some rest

  10. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pesca77 View Post
    Have you tried moving him to his cot instead? Some children just don't sleep as well co-sleeping - my 16mth DS wakes constantly if I have him in bed with me, but sleeps right through on his own. He enjoys the room to roll all over in the cot I think!

    Just another idea anyway, with another on the way soon you really need a solution and some rest
    My DD was/is like this. Unlike DS who STILL cosleeps, DD sleeps entirely on her own now. There is no way I could have gotten her to sleep through if she was cosleeping. Being so close to the smell of milk would have made it impossible to night wean her, she really needed to be in her own bed.

  11. #8
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    My 18 month old girl would not co sleep. In her own bed she would whimper for maybe a minute, then sleep thru from around 9 months without even disturbing her blankets.

    We didn't do controlled crying, and would never leave a hysterical baby, but we found ignoring a bit of low level vocalisation helped with dd.

    Its really about finding what works for u, and that will change as your bub goes thru different stages and bubs needs change.

  12. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mummablue View Post

    We stopped the constant patting and simply sat next to the cot with a hand on DS back and said shhhhh. He cried and cried the first few times and I gave in and patted him and he instantly went quiet, eyes rolled back in his head and he blissfully went to sleep. The only way he knew to go to sleep was with the patting so it was hard for him to learn how to go to sleep without it. We went longer and longer with not patting before giving in and eventually after a week or so we could just hold our hand on his back and he would go to sleep. Now, a month or so later, we can say goodnight, lay him down and he will go to sleep if he stand in the room. The next step is for us to leave the room before he goes to sleep.

    I hope this helps. Just know you are not alone in this. You're doing a wonderful job.
    This is basically what I have doine with my 3 bubs..my first DD was a nightmare sleeper and I was at my wits end until I went a sleep school here in WA and they taught me the above method. It was hard for the first few nights, but worked a treat. I have since followed the same method, but from a much earlier age (around 6-8 weeks), but much more gently..over the course of weeks my newbies learned to self-settle without having to be in my arms/boob etc. It really was a parenting god-send !

  13. #10
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    My 13 month old is now sleeping from 7 pm til about 3 am, after a really hard slog of no sleep, so I know what you mean!!

    We stopped co-sleeping at about 10 months in hope it would help with his sleep.

    Then what we did, is we picked a time that felt reasonable (for us, it was midnight), that I decided I wasn't feeding him until. So any wakings between 7 pm & midnight, my partner would get up to him & offer water, & cuddle back to sleep. After 12, I would feed as normal.

    After 3 or so weeks of this, he was sleeping til 12 or 1 fairly consistently.

    So then we extended the time til 3 am, & my partner got up to him for any wakings before 3, & after 3 it was my job.

    After about 3 weeks of this, he was sleeping pretty much from 7-3.

    It has made the world of difference. I'm keeping the 3 & 5 am feeds going for the time being, seeing he has had it for so long, & the new sleep pattern we have is bliss compared to what it was!! But I'm thinking in a month or two we may try to stretch it even further.

    Anyway, stopping co-sleeping & then getting my partners help settling really has helped us heaps!

    Good luck, I know how hard it is xx


 

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