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  1. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    To be fair to everyone your message has changed from your initial post. The original post wasn't waving the banner for SAHM's ....and the 'lazy' responses from other members weren't criticising SAHM's.

    You were talking about not wanting to work outside the home even when your kids are in school and you were happy more or less to potter around.
    That would make you a SAHH (stay at home housewife) not SAHM. Some were critical as once the kids are all in school what will you do with the free 5-6 hours a day? Unless you live in a McMansion it doesn't take 25-30 hours per week of kid free time to run a household. You would have a more relaxed pace than hubby and time to potter around. That, while your hubby is working at a probably more frantic pace, wouldn't be fair.

    If you plan to start your own business or what not then that's great. But I don't think you can blame people for jumping to conclusions as your earlier post really did come accross as you just wanting to potter around.
    What is the difference with a SAHM and SAHH (which I haven't heard of) ?
    Once the kids are at school you become a stay at home housewife?
    Does this mean you are no longer needed as a mum when kids are at school?
    5-6 hours a day of free time, where do you come up with that? And since when is being a sahm or your new definition of it pottering around the house?
    I mean my initial post was my feelings about going back to work, i didn't think I should write an entire essay about my life, my finances, and what my day would actually entail.
    Having children yourself and me having children I thought people would understand that I obviously wouldn't be sitting on my as$ all day.
    Is that what you think mums do when they don't work?

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  3. #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    It's so bad to never work again, even after your kids go to school because:
    it's not fair to have someone else work their guts out to support another person who sits on their butt all day in the garden or wherever. It's just not fair.
    And to be fair, your first post was very rude and arrogant. To even suggest my husband works his guts out while I sit on my butt all day. You don't even know what I do for him do you?
    Sometimes VicPark you should think before you write a response, it takes some intelligence but you'll figure it out.

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  5. #83
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    I haven't read any responses but just wanted to add that I'm soo with you on this one OP I understand as I dread working full time and live being at home (who doesn't!!)

    I currently just work one day a week and I ONLY do that so that we can pay our rent from my earnings and live off DH's (we still get FTB etc) without me working one day we would have to take too much out of DH's pay to cover it.

    My DH would love it if I worked full time and quite often tells me to pick up more days or to 'get a job' as if I don't already have one. I hate it when he says that kind of stuff but I know I want to be around for my children and not miss out on anything so I try not to stress over it. I too wish I had one of those husbands that WANTS their wife to stay home.

    In saying all of that though, I do see how unfair it is that sahm's husbands have to work long hours and normally at least 5 days a week while the wife gets to be at home (which is hard too)I feel so sad for my DH that he works 38-40hrs a week at one job and then on one of his days off he goes and works for himself so we have extra money while I'm at home I honestly feel very guilty about this bit I do know that even if I took up more days he wouldn't relax his hours.

    Anyways just wanted to say I agree with you and see where your coming from but also understand how hard things like this can be on our DH's if they don't have extreemly high paying jobs. I'm sure they would love to stay home too! 😃

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    Default Re: Work and sahm

    Quote Originally Posted by Lili81 View Post
    Although how many kids are the childcare people are looking after? Plus it's part of their job to clean and tidy up after the kids.
    If you employ a nanny to look after the kids 5 days a week at home, it I expected that she would participate in cleaning and laundries activities.
    Off topic but You would be surprised, most nannies I have come across will not do general house cleaning as part of their job. Cleaning up after the child yes, washing, vacuuming, bathrooms etc no.

    I don't do all of the housework in our house and I am a SAHM. My job first and foremost is the kids. We divide the housework, I do about 70% and DH gladly does the other 30%.

    Being a SAHM to me doesn't mean being solely responsible for the housework.

    Sent from my GT-I9305T using BubHub

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    Quote Originally Posted by peanutmonkey View Post

    Being a SAHM to me doesn't mean being solely responsible for the housework.
    I would have to agree. Another poster mentioned in another thread that she said to her other half why do you suddenly have no housework to do any more because your partner had a baby? Lol. I thought that was a perfect way to put it!

    sometimes an issue is that *some* husbands insist that their wives do all of the housework because she's a stay at home mum. But then becomes complacent with this, and she returns to work, the it's "but my job is harder", or "I work more hours". I do think if some SAHMs returned to work, rather than their husbands stepping up and doing their share of child care and housework, she is lumped with the lot. It's so overwhelming and, I fear, is what may possibly happen to the OP. which is why I would suggest if she *has* to go back to work, make sure the hours aren't overwhelming.

  8. #86
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    Default Work and sahm

    Quote Originally Posted by Someones Mummy View Post
    And to be fair, your first post was very rude and arrogant. To even suggest my husband works his guts out while I sit on my butt all day. You don't even know what I do for him do you?
    Sometimes VicPark you should think before you write a response, it takes some intelligence but you'll figure it out.
    So let me get his straight...You are lecturing me on being rude while throwing around personal insults about intelligence?... He he good onya

    To clarify.. I never said you sit on your butt all day while your husband works. Looking after kids is hard. 2+ young kids well thats definitely no bludge. What I wrote was in response to a FUTURE scenario YOU posted about wanting to potter around the house and in the garden while your kids were at school and your husband worked. You NEVER mentioned any desire to run a business from home or anything in your initial post. Infact that 'clarification' only came after people started being critical of the pottering plans.

    I'm not going to apologise for my initial response. You detailed a future scenario of pottering around the house and garden while your kids were in school and your husband worked. I (more or less) said that was not fair. I stand by that. I am confused as to why you are being so narky about it.... when you said in your initial post "I guess it's selfish to expect dh to work and pay all the bills and me not contribute". I'm just agreeing with you -

    Good luck with your small business plans. I agree with pp's finding something that could earn you some extra $$ while still allowing you the home-life you desire would be good.
    Last edited by VicPark; 13-01-2013 at 20:23.

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  10. #87
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    Default Work and sahm

    Another BH biatch fight!

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    And on that note, closed for moderation

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