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  1. #41
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    My SIL told me that she was more busy once her two girls were in school. Organising them, drop offs and pick ups, helping them with homework etc and getting involved with school activities. And of course still had to run the household.

    I think its important to be there. A part time job within school hours isnt easy to find but would be ideal.

    I think a sahm role is just as important and valid as going out and working for a wage. Some of the responses in this thread are just mean.

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    Default Work and sahm

    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post
    I'm surprised. Our family operates as a unit. We all contribute in different ways, financial contribution isn't more or less valuable than what I do, we just all workhard for the benefit of our family.

    I
    personally think it's selfish to operate in a way where one considers their contribution as more significant.
    I agree!

  4. #43
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    BarefootedMumma is offline Aiming to be in the top 10 busiest users one week.
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    Financially I should be working. For my sanity I should be working.. In reality I care for 2 adults, have a nerve trapped to the point walking from parking lot to building is painful, and have a bubs due in about 3 months..
    One of the adults I care for is only going to get worse, the other doesn't seem to be getting any better, and I can't even do part time work due to the nature of their illnesses/disabilities.

    My Family sees that without me being home we wouldn't cope as we do. If I did work I would probably melt down.

    We all talked about the pros an cons and really the major cons are lack of money and lack of socialisation for myself. We are coping with one, and you guys help out with the other.

    I would serriously try and talk to him about why he is saying that.. why does he want you to go back so soon, does it have to be full time? Does he realise what other financial commitments are going to increase if you go back full time (OOSH care for example)

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    Default Work and sahm

    Like a PP said, there any many ways to contribute to your family other than financially. My husband works, and I am a WAHM. When DS goes to school I will continue to WAH. At the moment we both contribute to the house, but when DS is at school I imagine I will take on more.

    My Mum is a 'housewife'. My step-dad doesn't see the need for her to work. She keeps the house immaculate, and he doesn't lift a finger except to mow the lawn. It's what works for them, I don't think she is the least bit lazy or selfish.

    ETA: DH would prefer me to be working FT and until recently I was. It wasn't entirely beneficial when you throw in daycare. After we discussed it we agreed. I would like to work school hours with DS at school, eventually.

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    Default Work and sahm

    I just worry about being out of the work force in the long term. Some of my Mum's friends are in their 60s and feeling a bit lost now the kids are grown up and their husbands have either divorced them or died and they don't have much to do, and have no financial independence.

    I also want to set an example for my daughter. show her that women can have career success and financial independence. i think why do we bother educating our girls if we then just expect them to give up their jobs once they have kids.

    OP you might just be feeling a bit scared to get back into the workforce after having a break from it. Maybe start working just a couple of days a week?

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    Do people who stay at home after kids begin school worry about superannuation? I am a SAHM and will be until my children are at school and then I will return to work, hopefully in school hours. Mainly because we want to be able to retire and do everything we dream of.

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    Missie mack I do agree that being a sahm is a fulltime job in itself - when the kids are little. If they're in school, and older, child care expenses become moot. The OP was about never working again even though her husband doesn't like the idea. That's what I don't agree with. Perhaps her hubby would like to actually retire one day, too?

    I totally get that motherhood is bloody hard work and really undervalued, but when kids are older they become more self sufficient and there is less and less to do. We are a partnership, so these issues are discussed and yes sometimes it does mean that work has to be done that we don't wasn't to. Unfortunately in our society bills have to be paid and in order to retire we have to work. That may have been different in previous generations but it's not realistic for most families today.

  10. #48
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    Default Re: Work and sahm

    Quote Originally Posted by waterlily View Post
    If you had said that in your first OP you would have got a world of different responses I think.
    OP said a lot in her first post but everyone jumped on the garden comment and told her she was being selfish. No one actually asked her to clarify.
    Also the op didn't mention anything much about their financial situation, yes she mentioned that her dh had to pay all the bills but that doesn't mean they are strapped for cash.
    Ho hum Lots of assumptions and judgement in this thread...

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    Default Work and sahm

    Quote Originally Posted by missie_mack View Post
    I don't understand your concern. Surely raising children is a full time job on its own. If we put our children into childcare most of us expect the childcare to spend the whole day entertaining and supervising our children
    Although how many kids are the childcare people are looking after? Plus it's part of their job to clean and tidy up after the kids.
    If you employ a nanny to look after the kids 5 days a week at home, it I expected that she would participate in cleaning and laundries activities.

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    Default Work and sahm

    We plan to still retire and do everything we want to which is why DH is still working, if anything ever unfortunate happened with him or us then I would obviously have to go back to work

    My mum was a SAHM and raised very independent daughters who both admired her and were given every opportunity as kids and now have their own businesses , I think girls need to be taught they can do whatever they choose, work, career, kids, no kids, SAHM or work - its all about choice as everyone obviously has different goals/views plus like me your opinions change - 5 years ago I never in a billion years thought I would want to stay at home , all my clients and friends are still shocked that I do!

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