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  1. #1
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    Default Work and sahm

    Dh keeps saying things to me like 'I can't wait till the kids are in school, you are going back to work asap' and it's a repeated sentence I hear alot
    "you are going back to work"
    To be honest, I don't want to. Not when they're at school, not ever. The thought of going back into an office and doing my job 9-6pm every day makes me sweat. It's not that I don't like my job, I don't think I want to do anything else, I've even done alot of work from home because my job allows that, I even wanted to start my own business doing what I do and thought I'd always end up doing that. But now I think no.

    Does anyone else feel the same? Besides financial reasons, why is it so bad to not ever work again? I don't get bored, I love being home, I love cooking and washing, shopping, my day is busy with kids home, but I think even when they're at school I'd find plenty to do! I could literally sit in my garden all day.

    I guess it's selfish to expect dh to work and pay all the bills and me not contribute, but I know so many sahm's with kids at school who don't want to go back either and their dh's are fine with it. I want one of those dh's! lol

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    I don't quite understand it TBH, I just asked my male DP and he said "um, nobody wants to go to work". If it works for you, that's great, but I think there will have to be some kind of compromise because your DH obviously resents being the only income earner. 9-6 would be too much, perhaps part-time would be more suitable

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    Default Work and sahm

    Could never stay at home forever. It's not finances or boredom, for me it's more a case of personal achievement. I would resent myself if I looked back on my life at 60-70 years old and state that my biggest achievement was being a mother, wife and/or SAHM. I meant don't get me wrong, family are very important - but they aren't everything.

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    Yeah, sorry. Doesn't everyone want to just sit in the garden all day?!? Your DH is obviously unwilling to support you to do that

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    Default Work and sahm

    I get a great sense of achievement in my job, so that's why I love it. The prospect of not working ever again would make me feel really unfulfilled.

    Put yourself in your husbands shoes; how would you feel if he said "you have to work full time until you retire and I'll sit at home in the garden all day" - I'd be really p*ssed at my husband for suggesting something like that.

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    Gothel's Avatar
    Gothel is offline Skip the drama, stay with Mama!
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    Default Re: Work and sahm

    I would love to be a SAHM always too. It can't last forever tho. When I go back it will be part time.
    Maybe you can find something non-office related? I too dread the thought of being behind a desk again. I have another 12m to think about it...

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    Default Work and sahm

    I would feel very resentful if I was working and my partner was 'finding things to do' and sitting in the garden all day.

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    Default Work and sahm

    I do not want to go back to work when the kids are in school. I want to be very involved in the school and it is a MUST that if/when I go back to work I must still be able to pick and drop kids off.

    DH can't wait for me to take some of the financial burden and pressure off him, being the sole supporter is an extremely stressful job. If money wasn't an issue I would stay at home but probably work casual of sanity reasons. But unfortunately that's not an option. I will have to go back to work even though I really do not want to.

    Me and DH are in full agreement that when I do go back to work it must be a job where I am home when the kids are, that's one thing we will not budge on. So it is going to be hard finding a job with those hours.

    I'm looking into going back to uni at some stage to better my chances of a good flexible job.

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  13. #9
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    SpecialPatrolGroup is offline T-rex is cranky until she gets her coffee.
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    Default Re: Work and sahm

    Quote Originally Posted by Chew the Mintie View Post
    I would feel very resentful if I was working and my partner was 'finding things to do' and sitting in the garden all day.
    I agree with this. I needs to be something that will work for your whole family, your dh included. I had to go back to work for financial reasons, just part time. When my dd is at school I will probably increase my hours but still leave some time free to participate in school activities with her, being a helper parent etc.

    What will be best for your whole team.

    Eta: I would live to be home all the time too, but it isn't realistic.

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using BubHub
    Last edited by SpecialPatrolGroup; 13-01-2013 at 10:12.

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    Not to put a downer on things, but what happens if your partner gets sick and can't work or (heaven forbid) dies...then what? If you haven't worked in 10 years it will be hard to get a job...just speaking from experience.


 
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