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  1. #41
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    Default Advice or help needed please.

    Hi everyone, I'd like to ask another question/make a comment. Not sure weather I should start a new post, or just post here. I'll just do it here for now.

    I have got my SIL to talk to one of her older sisters, who is taking her to a counciling appt today (I'm working and couldn't get the day off).

    But I'm genuinely concerned for her mental health, either way what she chooses (I believe) will have major impact on her mental health.
    I probation should of mentioned this earlier (but completely slipped my mind, until last night when I was talking to the other SIL)
    She is not in a very good state of mind. Has a lot of "issues". And is on medication for panic attacks and some other medication that not 100% sure of what it's for.
    We/she have a lot of personal stuff going on, which has effected her for the worse, and I think this on top if everything is a lot for her.
    I'm worried her choice either way, will have a very negative impact.
    my self and her older sister don't think she could handle a termination, yet we dont think she will be able to handle a baby (not that she won't be able to look after it) I'm meaning more the emotional/mental roller coaster that comes with pregnancy and a baby( iykwim)

    Anyways, not really sure of my point? (And I hope I don't sound mean? Or anything! I'm just really worried for her either way) and I don't really have anyone else to talk to about it

  2. #42
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    Would adoption be an option?

  3. #43
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    Default Advice or help needed please.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mummabearr View Post
    Hi everyone, I'd like to ask another question/make a comment. Not sure weather I should start a new post, or just post here. I'll just do it here for now.

    I have got my SIL to talk to one of her older sisters, who is taking her to a counciling appt today (I'm working and couldn't get the day off).

    But I'm genuinely concerned for her mental health, either way what she chooses (I believe) will have major impact on her mental health.
    I probation should of mentioned this earlier (but completely slipped my mind, until last night when I was talking to the other SIL)
    She is not in a very good state of mind. Has a lot of "issues". And is on medication for panic attacks and some other medication that not 100% sure of what it's for.
    We/she have a lot of personal stuff going on, which has effected her for the worse, and I think this on top if everything is a lot for her.
    I'm worried her choice either way, will have a very negative impact.
    my self and her older sister don't think she could handle a termination, yet we dont think she will be able to handle a baby (not that she won't be able to look after it) I'm meaning more the emotional/mental roller coaster that comes with pregnancy and a baby( iykwim)

    Anyways, not really sure of my point? (And I hope I don't sound mean? Or anything! I'm just really worried for her either way) and I don't really have anyone else to talk to about it
    Hi again,

    I hope today might have helped you sil a bit. Firstly I will say that she needs to speak to her prescribing doctor about her situation ASAP. Firstly because it can have health implications to take some medications while pregnant. Secondly, her anxiety and any other mental health issues need to be monitored.

    This really is going to be a tough one. As you have said, there is a probability that she will have issues with whichever decision she makes.

    I personally have been in a similar situation to your sil and I can tell you that I had a terrible time afterward (I chose to terminate) and still feel devastated at times and regret my choice. I wish i had not done it usually. Then there are times that I am thankful that I have the life I have now, which would not have been possible had I chosen differently.

    This, however, is not going to be true for everyone. Sadly, it is a situation that rarely has a simple happy ending. Your SIL needs to know what she wants, and be prepared that there will probably be hard times no matter which way she goes.

    Best of luck.

  4. #44
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    Default Advice or help needed please.

    Quote Originally Posted by rlpreston View Post
    Hi again,

    I hope today might have helped you sil a bit. Firstly I will say that she needs to speak to her prescribing doctor about her situation ASAP. Firstly because it can have health implications to take some medications while pregnant. Secondly, her anxiety and any other mental health issues need to be monitored.

    This really is going to be a tough one. As you have said, there is a probability that she will have issues with whichever decision she makes.

    I personally have been in a similar situation to your sil and I can tell you that I had a terrible time afterward (I chose to terminate) and still feel devastated at times and regret my choice. I wish i had not done it usually. Then there are times that I am thankful that I have the life I have now, which would not have been possible had I chosen differently.

    This, however, is not going to be true for everyone. Sadly, it is a situation that rarely has a simple happy ending. Your SIL needs to know what she wants, and be prepared that there will probably be hard times no matter which way she goes.

    Best of luck.
    Thankyou for your sharing your words and advice

    She has decided to terminate, and is booked in next week.

    She has requested that the procedure is not explained to her (as she doesn't want to know what's actually going to happen)
    *Sigh* Once again I'm worrying about her!

    Anyway thanks again

  5. #45
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    Default Advice or help needed please.

    Best of luck and bigs hugs.

  6. #46
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    Default Advice or help needed please.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mummabearr View Post
    Thankyou for your sharing your words and advice

    She has decided to terminate, and is booked in next week.

    She has requested that the procedure is not explained to her (as she doesn't want to know what's actually going to happen)
    *Sigh* Once again I'm worrying about her!

    Anyway thanks again

    I hope all works out for the best. She is very lucky to have you there supporting her and in the end as long as she is happy with the decision that is what is most important.

    I hope you are coping well and not under too much stress, it is not really a nice situation for anyone to need to worry about.

    Xo

  7. #47
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    Where did she find the funding for the termanation if u don't mind me asking? I think going in blind is a mistake but what more can you do? You sound frustrated too hugs

  8. #48
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    Hi,

    Hope she doesn't regret it for the rest of her life
    Once it's done, it's done. Can't go back.
    Maybe if she knew more about the procedure she wouldn't do it.
    Her choice, I know.
    Just that a lot of women regret it.

  9. #49
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    Default Advice or help needed please.

    Quote Originally Posted by jariah4 View Post
    Hi,

    Hope she doesn't regret it for the rest of her life
    Once it's done, it's done. Can't go back.
    Maybe if she knew more about the procedure she wouldn't do it.
    Her choice, I know.
    Just that a lot of women regret it.
    I agree, she should know what is about to happen.

    I am a prime example of not understanding and then having regrets

  10. #50
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    Default Advice or help needed please.

    OP your sil will do the right thing for her and shouldn't feel pressure either way. At the end of the day she just needs to look at two options: baby or no baby. The nitty gritty details are sometimes not important when achieving the final outcome.

    Please understand this is a public parent forum so some members can't even imagine being in the situation your sil is in and making the decision she is. That doesn't mean what she is right or wrong, it just means they are on a different life journey.

    It really is up to her and the councillor to discuss, maybe look at getting a councillor for after too.

    Big hugs, you seem like you have been an amazing support to her.

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to Plan2bamummy For This Useful Post:

    Mummabearr  (21-01-2013)


 

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