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  1. #1
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    Default Advice or help needed please.

    Hi, I'm a long time reader, first time poster

    2 days ago my SIL found out she was pregnant, she had a dating ultrasound yesterday, which came back at 14w 3days (date yet to be confirmed by the dr - this is what the ultrasound lady told us)

    Immediately SIL said she wants to have a termination.

    after calling up a few clinics, looks like the max weeks they will do is 15 +6, so she/we really need to get out skates on if she wants to go ahead.

    We told her partner yesterday, and showed him the ultrasound pic we got to keep, he was shocked, but over the moon and wants to keep the baby.

    I'm feeling that she is actually unsure if she wants to terminate or not...so I have tried to get her counciling, to discuss her options, and so she knows her options. But can not get an appt until next Friday (which would make her like 15w+)

    I have told her the costs, quotes varied from $700 - $885. And that I'm unable to pay this, as I can not afford it and my cc is maxed out. SIL and bil live with me dp and dd.

    Also just some back ground info on her, she's only 16 and has been on the depo shot, and has been with her partner for over 1yr.

    I'm not too sure what to do, or how to help so any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

    I'm also unsure of how to give advice as I was meant to terminate dd but me and dp couldn't go through with it ( went to the clinic, but couldn't go in)
    Last edited by Mummabearr; 12-01-2013 at 14:11.

  2. #2
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    Default Advice or help needed please.

    I'm also worried that if she's not 100% sure with her decision, she will regret it, and it may be hard for her as she lives with me and I have a lo and several of her other brothers and sisters also have young kids/babies

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Mummabearr For This Useful Post:

    Izy  (13-01-2013)

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    Default Advice or help needed please.

    Firstly well done to you for being there for your sister!

    I think she would definitely need counselling before any decision is made and her partner should be involved in this too. I'm afraid I don't have any other practical information for you regarding the tight deadline. If they decide that they are not ready to be parents there is also adoption to consider.

    Best of luck to you, hopefully there are some others with some suggestions for you.

  5. #4
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    LifeInShadesOfGrey is offline Just a little bit silly :)
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    Default Advice or help needed please.

    In worried too she might regret it down the line. I hope that she can come to a decision that is suits her and you all.

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    Could you offer to help raise the baby if possible?
    I hope it works out. Hard emotional situation!

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    Default Advice or help needed please.

    Quote Originally Posted by Luvmydogs View Post
    Could you offer to help raise the baby if possible?
    I hope it works out. Hard emotional situation!
    I have told her this already
    I'd be more than happy too.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mummabearr View Post
    I have told her this already
    I'd be more than happy too.
    Sorry I don't have any practical advice but just wanted to say what a wonderful sister you are to offer this. Your sister is extremely lucky to have you.

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    Default Advice or help needed please.

    Big hugs xx you sound like an amazing sister for being there for her.
    I know when I was 16 one on my friends got a discount for the procedure as she was underage and low income not sure if this is still an option and I'm not sure who you would ask.

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    Default Advice or help needed please.

    No advise really.
    But could she call Kids helpline, or any other emergency counseling line to at least talk to someone?

    I would suggest taking her to a GP and explain that your SIL needs to see an emergency counselor.
    That she needs one ASAP as this is a decision that could effect her entire life, and that given her age you are worried about her.
    Given her situation they might be able to squeeze her in (counselors do usually keep appointments free for emergencies, especially if they are in the doctors surgery) more than once I have been seen within the hour for emergency counseling, at most it's been a 2 day wait.

    Good luck, also just wanted to say you are amazing, she is very lucky to have you.

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    Izy  (13-01-2013)

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    Default Advice or help needed please.

    Your sister is so lucky to have you. I agree with PP, I know it's a tight deadline but she really does need counseling! She can't go through this without it. At 16 she may not realise how much of a deep emotional impact this will have on her.

    There is a phone number you can call but I can't remember the name of it! I know a couple of members have used it. I'll see if I can find it on google.

    Is adoption an option if she decides she doesn't want to be a mother?
    Last edited by waterlily; 12-01-2013 at 14:51.


 

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