+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 10 of 10
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0

    Default Still not a sleeper even after professional help

    After trying everything eliminating food allergies trying tizzie hall, pinky McKay, Caroline's Angeles and most recently I've spent 1week at Ngalas mother baby unit to try to get him to sleep they do a similar technique to controlled crying where you have cameras watching them however due to his age we were in the rm often at no point were there tears just a very angrey child ideally I'd like to be able to put him in his cot awake to go to sleep but am having to feed / rock to sleep which some nights takes hrs. He sleeps 7pm-12am but wakes every sleep cycle of 40mins after that which again take 30-60mins to settle. At the sleep unit I was told he has the staying power of a 3yr old and the action / behavior of a toddler yet he's just turned 1 some days we spent a told of 6-7hrs to get him to sleep only to stop for meals. I'm needing him to sleep some more as I'm going back to work which involves shift work and can't function as it is.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    1,463
    Thanks
    1,970
    Thanked
    522
    Reviews
    14
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default Still not a sleeper even after professional help

    Hugs!

    I don't know what other advice I can offer, sounds like you've tried it all.

    I just couldn't read and not comment though.

    Do you have anyone that can do a night shift with him so you can recharge every so often?

    What did the Mother Baby Unit say when you left? Did they have any other advice?

  3. #3
    Busy-Bee's Avatar
    Busy-Bee is offline Offending people since before Del :D
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    11,183
    Thanks
    3,660
    Thanked
    4,704
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Past Moderator - Thank you
    Hugs, some babies are just more wakeful than others. Both my children were catnappers during the day. DD was teh worst, at a newborn she would often only have 2x20 min naps during the day and would only sleep whilst she had physical contact with me. She woke hourly during the night and had to be fed back to sleep which was often a long, hard feed. I was so sick of being touched!! There was nothing I could do about it, she was a wakeful baby and some babies are just like that. I hope things get better for you soon.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    3,678
    Thanks
    788
    Thanked
    1,847
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Sometimes, we need to accept our babies as they are. Some sleep well and some don't. I feel it is like trying to force a child to walk before they are ready in many cases...you can try as much as you like but until they are developmentally ready, it is only going to cause heart ache and frustration.

    I do understand how hard sleep deprivation is....my lil girl is only just starting to sleep well and she is nearly 2 1/2.

    Have you tried co sleeping? Sometimes this can help as at least you are not up and down all the time. Perhaps a bed next to your bed if that is easier.

    Have you tried an extra feed at 11pm ish?

    Do you have support and someone that can share the getting up?

    Have you tried a bed instead of cot?

    Mostly, the hardest part for me was just accepting that this was her and when i let go of the expectation it took a lot of the stress away which helped my mental state.

    I get naps sometimes during the day if DH is home and I am desperate...but other than that, i just have to cope.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    6,868
    Thanks
    5,192
    Thanked
    3,894
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts

    Default Still not a sleeper even after professional help

    I'm sorry that you are missing out on sleep. It does suck and I can only offer "this will pass".

    I think another poster called SPC has a bub like yours that is very determined. I suggest you pm her to ask for strategies.

    Good luck.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    6,868
    Thanks
    5,192
    Thanked
    3,894
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts

    Default Still not a sleeper even after professional help

    Btw I'd co sleep if that was my bub.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    6,213
    Thanks
    387
    Thanked
    594
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    My ds was a shocking sleeper and like you my dh & I were spending hours & hours of the day & night settling him and it was driving us UP THE WALL! We were SO tired & I was working full time & dh was working 3 days a week, often with long travel on those days. Co-sleeping was not the answer as dh & I do not sleep well when we have kids in the bed with us. Every now & again was ok, but definitely not every night.

    We did controlled crying at 15 months with amazing success. Within 3 nights he wasn't needing us to go to sleep and he was put down awake. We did have an hour long strict pre-bed routine though including a bath, milk, a long story (which helped him switch off) and then bed with classical music playing (he still has that CD playing at bedtime now and he's nearly 6!). It took a week to get his daytime sleep sorted. We never looked back.

    Then, came our dd. Miss Stubborn. She was actually a good sleeper (12 hours a night) from 6 weeks til 3.5 months, then it was awake 2 - 3 times a night til 12 months. At 12 months she got sick and all of a sudden it was 3 - 6 times a night awake and hours on end of being awake. That lasted 2 very long months and so by the time she was 14 months my dh & I were complete zombies. We did controlled crying again and night weaned her at the same time (I was BFing 2 - 3 times a night at that point). It was seriously rough. She's SO stubborn. She didn't mind the night weaning that much, but the having to go to sleep on her own made her angry. Not upset/distressed, just angry most of the time (very different cry). We'd go in on increments of 2 minutes, so 2 minutes, then 4 minutes, then 6 minutes, etc. Going in 6 - 8 times was quite common. She's often be quiet for minutes on end, then start up again.

    So, that was 6 - 7 weeks ago that we started. The first 2 weeks were rough, but by about night 5 or 6 she was heaps better and settling a lot quicker, but still needing that overnight settling. She got sick again at about 10 days in with a cold, so that stuffed things up a bit.

    Then 3 weeks in, when she was waking 0 - 1 times a night and settling easily my dh went away for 2 weeks & I went away for part of that with the kids on my own. Disaster. The change of location & different cot really upset her routine and we were back to square one and I was exhausted (it was just after Christmas) and so I ended up cosleeping for large parts of the night. Far from ideal as it hurts my back (a lot) and she's super mobile in bed so I couldn't sleep deeply for fear she'd fall off the other side of the bed (she came close one night). Then, dh came home & so did we. Again, back at square one, but after 2 nights she was a lot better. Then she only woke once a night & settled easily, then last night she slept through for the first time in many weeks.

    Bottom line is that persistence is key. If you are happy that you have a method of settling you are confident in, then persist. Some stubborn toddlers will fight and take a lot longer to settle into a routine, particularly with a change of location (like coming home from sleep school). Don't give up. I know it's hard. I know it's exhausting, but success is possible.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    691
    Thanks
    29
    Thanked
    104
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default Still not a sleeper even after professional help

    How long did you try controlled crying for? The more stubborn babies it can still work but instead of taking 1-3 nights it can take longer but you need to be consistent.

    How much play time, cuddle/affection time is he getting a day? How often does he feed and how much food do you give? I just ask as some babies hate going to sleep as they would rather be playing or having cuddles or sometimes just plain old hungry?

    Do you have a consistent bed time routine?

    I think sometimes we think of what might not be working in the settling process, but don't give enough thought to what else may be contributing to them not wanting/needing to sleep.

    Check out the baby sleep site, you can get personalised sleep plans via email. They take into consideration your baby's temperament, things you have tried in the past amongst other things. You have to pay for it, but it comes with a money back guarantee. Worth a try if you have exhausted every other idea.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    380
    Thanks
    258
    Thanked
    115
    Reviews
    1

    Default Still not a sleeper even after professional help

    I strongly sympathise...empathise, really.

    Our situation is not as bad as yours (though the first stretch of the night sleep your bubs does would be nice), but it is hard, seems to get worse lots of the time and it doesn't seem to matter what we or don't do. Some babies are different. Some babies are much more challenging than others when it comes to sleep (and the rest). I'm not going to offer any advice because I'm in the same position and I know that it's not a matter of "finding the perfect routine", or just being consistent.

    I truly hope your bubs improves, if not soon then consistently. I try to take joy in the small victories, like a day sleep that goes longer than a catnap, the occasional 2 or 3 hour stretch of sleep overnight.

    Also, we now cosleep. It certainly hasn't solved everything, but even after a really rough night, the fact that you haven't been up and down out of bed really does make a difference.

    And finally, it really won't last forever. It might last many days, weeks, months...even a few years, but before we know it we will be looking back on this time as people who are no longer sleep deprived but miss our babies.

    Hugs

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    second star to the right
    Posts
    2,112
    Thanks
    8
    Thanked
    40
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    My first two were bad sleepers. DS1 literally did not sleep for more than an hour straight for the first two months, then gradually improved. It took him until 26 months before he could go to sleep by himself at night time, and sleep through the night consistently.

    DS2 was a great sleeper for the first six weeks, even showing signs of self-settling, then BANG it all went downhill
    . He was waking three or four times a night, and would only feed to sleep until we got mean at 14 months. He dropped his day sleep at 18 months, but he can put himself to sleep at night. It suddenly clicked for him at 24 months the whole sleeping all night business.

    I always reminded myself with my first that most kids, by the time they go to school, go to sleep by themselves, stay asleep all night, and don't need to be fed/rocked to sleep
    . It sucks to go through it, but IT WILL PASS.

    I managed to get more sleep by putting the baby in their own bed at the start of the night, then bringing them into my bed when they woke up, rather then trying to resettle them
    .

    My biggest problem now, is that I have a 3-month-old and I don't even believe it's possible that she might be able to self-settle, so haven't really tried! Maybe I should give it a go
    .... or maybe I should just keep cuddling her because she's my last baby...


 

Similar Threads

  1. Any professional sewers?
    By Jensha in forum General Chat
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 15-02-2012, 21:33

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Ro&Co
Share magical moments this Christmas with this gorgeous gingerbread house. Exclusively available in Brisbane, with FREE delivery in Brisbane Metro areas. Each Christmas Centrepiece is unique and made to order, from $240.
sales & new stuffsee all
Wendys Music School Melbourne
Wondering about Music Lessons? FREE 30 minute ASSESSMENT. Find out if your child is ready! Piano from age 3 years & Guitar, Singing, Drums, Violin from age 5. Lessons available for all ages. 35+ years experience. Structured program.
Use referral 'bubhub' when booking
featured supporter
Baby Sensory
Baby Sensory is the only baby programme that offers a complete approach to learning & development. Our classes offer an exciting world full of fun sensory experiences for parents and babies to enjoy.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!