So sorry you are both going through all of this heartache and frustration.
I suggest that your husband may need to see a psychologist in addition to any marriage counselling you may need. He has been through major emotional and mental trauma and needs to be re-taught the skills necessary to work through them and let them go.
He will get at least 6 free sessions because of the Governments mental health schemes ( I think it's six).
I can understand how it is impacting your marriage as a whole but it seems as though it is more the abuse to him personally is the biggest obstacle and his sense of worth and failure (not that he is in anyway but tell the emotional brain of a man that!)
When he's able to work through those (may take a long time to repair) issues himself you may find that you can become a team again and work through marital issues together without marriage counselling,
Some men find it difficult to accept help from the Medical world (WHY????) but it is important that he sees what has been done to him is wrong and bl***y unChristian too!
Best of luck to both of you.