Thank you all so much for this.
I do think separate counseling would be the best.
I know that I can get on a health care plan due to past depression and PND but I'm not sure about DH.
However even if it was once a month to start with its better than nothing, we can afford it in a few months time, it's just it's that time of year when every single bill comes at once, anything that empties our bank does.
I really feel like its at a breaking point right now and if we don't get help ASAP counseling won't even be something we would consider IYKWIM, so we might just have to make it work no matter the cost.
He can't go on like this, husband or not what he is feeling is just heartbreaking.
I'm going to have a talk to him tonight and try and find out what he is thinking, I don't think he will seek counseling himself, he is to afraid but I will ask him if I was to arrange everything would he go.
I kind of owe it to him as he did the same for me with the PND.
I hope if I just try and talk to him a bit differently he might open up a little more, if not then that's ok.
But I just feel so distant from him that until counseling is arranged I can only try my hardest to try and understand how he is feeling more.
I will be sure to keep you all updated on this.
I never would have thought a group of people and beliefs could have such a negative impact on some people.
It also doesn't help ease my worry when I hit up google and read stories like mine and most end in divorce
I also wonder how many others are secretly living lives like me and my husband