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  1. #81
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    Default *Trigger Topic* Sleepovers.. What age/with whom?

    I made a rule in our house that we don't do sleepovers. But I felt it had to go both ways. If I allowed someone's child to sleep here then I felt they would be offended that I wouldn't let my child sleep at theirs. So it was a no sleepovers both ways rule. For our immediate family it's different. The children have slept at both grandparents houses and my eldest has slept at his cousins a couple of times.

    Now they are getting older I have to reassess. My big kids are 11, 8 and 6. I still won't let me boys sleep over as I don't feel comfortable with the parenting styles of their friends. But this week my daughter slept at a friends house and is going to a slumber party this week which she has said she does want to sleep at. (I give the choice to be collected at a late hour and let the other mum know I will collect if need be at any hour if she changes her mind) Also I only let her sleep at a house where there is no boys. Basically it depends on the family and my relationship with the mother as I am basically entrusting my child into their care. Btw my daughter is almost 9.

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    Default Re: *Trigger Topic* Sleepovers.. What age/with whom?

    The one thing that has me thinking the way I do is an Oprah show I saw.. She was abused as a child by an uncle. Oprah decided to interview child molesterers to find out what makes them do it, how they get away with it.

    They all said "We can only offend if we have access to your child, alone, don't leave your child alone with others". They all made it extremely clear about the sheer lengths they went to, to get trust from the parents and so they were therefore trusted with the child.

    Look, I'd like to think I'm very switched on and can smell a rat a mile off... But I'm sure so did alot of the parents of kids who ended up being molested... Surely they never suspected it would happen to their child either?

  3. #83
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    Default *Trigger Topic* Sleepovers.. What age/with whom?

    OP, I agree it's scary and as a parent today we think more about these things as we have so much access to information but for every horrible story about abuse at slumber parties the majority are care free and really fun, for me, I don't want my child being brought up having to worry about fear and what's ifs I want him growing up experiencing the wonderful things in life and being care free ( especially as a child) so I will educate him the best I can and hope that his experiences are the like majority , safe and happy

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  5. #84
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    Default *Trigger Topic* Sleepovers.. What age/with whom?

    I was s3xually abused at a sleepover. Not by the parents, but by my friend. We were 13 years old. I didn't tell for a while, until the anxiety became too much and I told my mum. I still trusted though, because as my counsellor said, if you see evil everywhere and think everyone is going to hurt you, sooner or later this will become truth.

    That being said, this thread makes me incredibly sad. I still loved sleepovers and they were such an important part of growing up. It makes me think that my son and new baby are going to be growing up in a world where there is no trust and no community. Where people see shadows under every door. What a truly miserable, isolated world we live in.

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    I guess I'm quite naive, I have never been exposed to abuse and must admit it hadn't actually crossed my mind!

    From about the age of 2 my DD's have been staying the night with their grandparents and aunt & uncle - not on a regular basis but maybe 2 or 3 times a year.

    DD2 had her first sleepover with a school friend when she was in grade 1 (shortly before she turned 7), her best friend at the time was a little girl from Korea who lived with her mum and older sister - so it was only girls in the house.

    Last year she had a couple of sleep overs and we had the same girls stay here as well. She is now in grade 3 and this year has been to several slumber parties for girls birthdays, also had 2 friends stay for her birthday.

    She has been going to school with these girls since kinder and most we know quite well, although mostly only through school situations. However if I didn't feel comfortable with them or their family situation I wouldn't allow her to sleepover on her own - I do think birthday party situations are a bit different as it is often a larger group of girls. However DD does know that I will come and pick her up at anytime if she wants to come home.

    There was one situation last year where she was asked to a sleepover but the mother would be going to work at 8.30am the next morning and leaving her 18 year old son in charge of the girls, I wasn't happy with this situation so gave them the choice of either sleeping at our house or I could come and pick DD up before her friends mother left for work. They ended up sleeping at our house.

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    Default *Trigger Topic* Sleepovers.. What age/with whom?

    ...
    Last edited by Colbie; 13-01-2013 at 18:03.

  9. #87
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    Default *Trigger Topic* Sleepovers.. What age/with whom?

    ...
    Last edited by Colbie; 13-01-2013 at 18:03.


 

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