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  1. #61
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    DD has had sleepovers with her grandparents and my sisters from about 6 months old, then with her cousins from about 1. They all run in a pack and she loves it.

    The boy cousins all generally end up together and the few girls often sleep at our house.

    DH's stance is to make sure that toile ting or drying after bath time, he is with our DD and me doing any visiting kids. If the girls jump in our bed in the morning, or even in the middle of the night he's never next to a visiting child in the bed, there's always our DD or me between he and another kid. He would put all the sleeping girls in with me and sleep on the matress. He feels uncomfortable and doesn't want to be in the position that little girls are to snuggling up to him. Kind of paranoid, but I guess you have to be as a man who has great relationships with all of his nieces and nephews.

  2. #62
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    I was abused as a child by an immediate family member. My DD at this stage will not have sleepovers except at nan & pops.
    When the abuse happened i knew it was wrong & i was a very outspoken & mature child - it didnt stop it from happening.
    Will my daughter feel deprived & resent me at times? Probably!
    Pretty sure tho she wont be having flashbacks at 33 about that sleepover she missed out on

  3. #63
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    No s.exual abuse here.
    My DD had her first sleepover last year age six (a slumber party) and she asked me to go with her and so I did! She then had another slumber party with 6 girls and trusted friends.

    Parenting is ultimately about risk assessment and we feel good about our choices.

  4. #64
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    Default Re: *Trigger Topic* Sleepovers.. What age/with whom?

    Over the last year, DS has slept out at friends houses quite often. If i had the smallest amount of doubt, he wouldnt go. Its only been 2 different families but he has slept at both houses several times and i have had children sleep over my place as well. I even have a 3yr old brother of one of the boys absolutely begging to sleep over which i am going to do in the next few weeks before school goes back.

    I remember sleeping out at the age of 6 with friends from school. I was a baby when i would sleep at my nana and pops place so my parents could have a night to themselves.

    Always loved sleeping out. Always good fun especially at friends places.

    Sent from my GT-I9305T using BubHub

  5. #65
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    Default Re: *Trigger Topic* Sleepovers.. What age/with whom?

    Quote Originally Posted by bressar View Post
    I was abused as a child by an immediate family member. My DD at this stage will not have sleepovers except at nan & pops.
    When the abuse happened i knew it was wrong & i was a very outspoken & mature child - it didnt stop it from happening.
    Will my daughter feel deprived & resent me at times? Probably!
    Pretty sure tho she wont be having flashbacks at 33 about that sleepover she missed out on
    Thank you for taking the time to give me your feedback, I honestly appreciate it considering how hard it must be. This, what you have just said is exactly my reasoning, so thank you xo

  6. #66
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    Default *Trigger Topic* Sleepovers.. What age/with whom?

    My childhood was absolutely packed full of sleepovers, both at my house and friends houses. From about age 8 through until 15, my best friend (at the time) and I would usually spend at least one night every weekend at my house or hers. If she wasn't available, another close friend would sleep at my house or I'd sleep at theirs. However in saying that, I had a group of very close friends who I went through primary school and high school with and also played netball with many of them so my parents knew their parents quite well. Even in high school, I wasn't allowed to sleep over at someones house until at least my mum had met the friend and one of the friends parents.

    Our baby isn't born yet, but apart from missing her, I won't have any issues with her staying at either grandparents house from birth, or at either of my sisters houses. Hubby and I have looked after my niece and nephew overnight from when they were babies; my family is incredibly close so I know they'd take care of my child as if it were their own.

    I remember one of my cousins wasn't good at sleepovers when we were younger, around 5-6 years it wasn't uncommon for her mum to have to come and pick her up from my house at midnight but her mum wanted to keep trying coz she was a VERY clingy child (it didn't work coz today at 24 years old she's still the biggest wimpy mummy's girl I've met - alot of that is her mums fault though). So I'd probably wait until my kids start asking for sleepovers, then make the decision based on who the parents are, age of my child and level of maturity. Some kids might be ready at 4 (I remember sleepovers at my Aunty & Uncles house with my cousins before I started school) while others aren't ready for that separation until 10 or older...

  7. #67
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    Default *Trigger Topic* Sleepovers.. What age/with whom?

    DD (22 months) has slept at my parents since birth, she has her own room there and no idea it's not her house she has at least a day nap there once a week.
    She's a pretty bad sleeper everywhere else, has done day naps at daycare and my dads house and sisters house but not slept over night but had day trips.
    Under no circumstances has or will she for a while slept at DHs parents or sisters house. This I have no real reasoning for. I've just never felt comfortable allowing it. But that's not on the abuse side it's on the 'I secretly think ur f***wits' side I think!
    As far as friends houses ill deal with it when it comes up we haven't needed it for baby sitting etc reasons yet as my parents are just so good with having her!

  8. #68
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    Look I understand the reasoning for not wanting to allow sleepovers, but you have to realise that it's really not going to make much difference to whether your child gets abused or not. If there is an abuser in the house, they will find a way (many ways probably) to access the child, even on a short playdate. They don't need to wait to have the child sleep over.
    Then there's everything else- at school, at sports and activities... you can't glue yourself to your child 24 hours/day, just because your child may be abused today.

    However in regards to sleepovers and missing out on 'normal childhood'... I have a few friends who do not allow sleepovers, not for abuse reasons but just because you just never know what the parents allow the kids to get up to (more specifically young teens/tweens), and it works fine for them, no one thinks they are missing out on anything. One of my friends kids whinges about it but she whinges about everything LOL. The others are fine with it as they respect their parents wishes. In the case of a sleepover party the parent just picks their child up at 9-10ish and brings them home. It's not the end of the world.

  9. #69
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    Default *Trigger Topic* Sleepovers.. What age/with whom?

    My DDs 7 and 5 have had about 10 sleepovers between them during the past year. Including their best friends who are sisters themselves who will only sleepover together in the same room.
    Always reciprocated sleepovers with school friends we know the parents of socially. We have also had the neighbours girl over for a sleepover.

    I grew up with more weekends than not hosting or attending a sleepover. They were never random children's houses always friends who my parents had some what of a relationship with.

  10. #70
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    Default *Trigger Topic* Sleepovers.. What age/with whom?

    Quote Originally Posted by faroutbrusselsprout View Post
    Extended family? Such as grandparents??
    I couldn't even fathom the idea of my children never having a night with their extended family.
    They have an extremely close and important relationship with 4 of their grandparents and spend lots of time with them.
    I'd rather run that very very small risk that my parents are p3adophiles and I've got it wrong all these years than stop them from having such a wonderful and special bond with the 4 of them.
    I know a woman who's father isn't allowed anywhere near her children because he was inappropriately touching her daughter. So not all grandparents are safe.. But my kids stay at their grand parents and they are fine. Creepy people can be anywhere, even in people who we love and trust


 

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