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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    To those who say sleepovers will only happen at their own house. While I can understand where you're coming from wanting to control this, sleepovers don't work like this (in our world anyway). I would feel really uncomfortable with parents who only ever want the sleepovers at their house. It would make me feel they didn't trust me and if that's the case I wouldn't want my kids growing that close. DD1 loves going to sleepovers but she also loves hosting her friends. I wouldn't want to deprive her of that.

    DD1 has only ever had sleepovers at friend's places where we've already had several play dates and where we are good friends with both parents.

    i have to agree with this. in fact, i would suspect there was some sort of abuse going on in their house which is why they would stop their child being in contact with other families.

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    Default *Trigger Topic* Sleepovers.. What age/with whom?

    DS1 has had a few sleepovers with the grandparents already. He will be 2 next month. I'm not sure when I will let them sleep over a friends house. I don't think living constantly thinking someone could be a sexual predator is a healthy way to live. To the posters that won't allow sleepovers will you send your children to school camps?

    Growing up I remember having a slumber party for my 10th Birthday there was probably 8 girls staying over my house. I also had a few friends stay with my family while we went away on holidays. And I also stayed with a friends family for a week with them on holiday. My teenage years I had lots of sleep overs. These are all fond memories of mine.

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    Default *Trigger Topic* Sleepovers.. What age/with whom?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    To those who say sleepovers will only happen at their own house. While I can understand where you're coming from wanting to control this, sleepovers don't work like this (in our world anyway). I would feel really uncomfortable with parents who only ever want the sleepovers at their house. It would make me feel they didn't trust me and if that's the case I wouldn't want my kids growing that close. DD1 loves going to sleepovers but she also loves hosting her friends. I wouldn't want to deprive her of that.

    DD1 has only ever had sleepovers at friend's places where we've already had several play dates and where we are good friends with both parents.
    I completely agree.

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    Apart from grandparents and aunty for sleepovers I am quite cautious with whom my child would or would not be going for sleepovers. Both dh and I would have to know the parents extremely well on a social basis. My ds has had his little mate sleep over but I would not allow him to sleepover at is friends place because his friends father was abused sexually and has issues still and I just don't trust him completely. I spoke to my friend whom I'm very close with (the boys mother) about this and she totally understands. There has only been 1 other friend whom I have allowed him to have sleepovers at his place and they are our best friends.

    Having been sexually abused as a child it has made me extra cautious.

    my ds is soon to turn 5 and he is a having a few friends sleeping over for his birthday which are his closest friends and we associate with their parents.

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    It's sad we live in a world where we have to worry about this stuff
    I had lots of sleepovers, from early childhood at family's houses, from grade 5 onwards would be every other weekend with school friends and all throughout highschool. I can't imagine my childhood where I didn't do that because it's when we had the most fun and formed those close bonds.
    It's sad some kids won't experience it to be honest, not to be judgmental or patronising in any way, but I think it's a good part of growing up. But yeah, it's sad (abuse) happens and stops kids being kids and parents not trusting other parents.

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    My daughters have been having sleepovers with my parents and my best friend since 2-ish, and with friends and other family since about 4. The friends are people whose parents I am also close friends with. They are now 8 & 10 and have slept at a few friends houses, all of whom I know their parents. I try to educate them on safety with all that stuff but it still worried me a lot. I don't want to project fear and distrust into them though.

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    Default Re: *Trigger Topic* Sleepovers.. What age/with whom?

    I guess my point is.. That all statistics say that the majority of offenders are friends or family.. Not strangers. I'm a great judge of character but child abusers are sneaky and manipulative.. Not to mention my son has Aspergers so I'm not sure he would be able to tell us if something did ever happen.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    To those who say sleepovers will only happen at their own house. While I can understand where you're coming from wanting to control this, sleepovers don't work like this (in our world anyway). I would feel really uncomfortable with parents who only ever want the sleepovers at their house. It would make me feel they didn't trust me and if that's the case I wouldn't want my kids growing that close. DD1 loves going to sleepovers but she also loves hosting her friends. I wouldn't want to deprive her of that.

    DD1 has only ever had sleepovers at friend's places where we've already had several play dates and where we are good friends with both parents.
    I agree with this. If parents were always, "Oh... she can come to OUR house..." I'd feel weird. Why?

    It might be that they just don't trust me or whatever, but I'd actually start wondering if I should really trust them. Why do they want DD over there all the time? What is it they're doing while she's there that cannot be done here? Do I really want her spending all that time with them, if they clearly think I'm incompetent or just want to spend an awful lot of time with her in their home? NOPE!

  10. #59
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    Default Re: *Trigger Topic* Sleepovers.. What age/with whom?

    I'll never say never but I'll definitely tread carefully when the time comes. Who would want their child to miss out on the fun of sleepovers? But who would want their kid to deal with the fallout of bring abused - to any extent.

    I dread the day I get accused of spoiling all the fun, "you never let me do anything", "Millie's Mum let's her go to Sarah's" bla bla bla. I am the Keeper of the Gates, oh joy

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    Default *Trigger Topic* Sleepovers.. What age/with whom?

    Quote Originally Posted by Happy2be3 View Post
    I guess my point is.. That all statistics say that the majority of offenders are friends or family.. Not strangers. I'm a great judge of character but child abusers are sneaky and manipulative.. Not to mention my son has Aspergers so I'm not sure he would be able to tell us if something did ever happen.
    Your reasoning is fair enough. I didn't have any sleepovers as a child and now don't think I've suffered from that greatly. I can sleep anywhere and never have a prob falling asleep.

    Consequently I am not going to facilitate my kids hosting/attending them. But my kids are 2.5yo and 7mths and the discussion hasn't been broached yet.

    If you don't like sleepovers then just don't do it. Dad used to pick me up from sleepover parties at 10/11pm or whatever time the parent said it was bedtime and drop me back off first thing in the morning. My parents didn't mind being the odd ones and it didn't bother me either.


 
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