+ Reply to Thread
Page 3 of 9 FirstFirst 12345 ... LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 87
  1. #21
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Qld
    Posts
    26,930
    Thanks
    2,736
    Thanked
    6,743
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    I don't think my child is any safer at a relatives than with a school friend. Child sexual abuse is often perpetrated by people trusted by the parents, or even one of the parents themselves, so I'm not going to spend my time by not trusting anyone at all. I just use my common sense and hope that it works out safely.

    I would currently let DD spend the night at one friend's house. I've met the mother numerous times now, DD was picked up from school for an afternoon with her friend, and I did the same, we've been to the movies together (both mothers and daughters) and have chatted at school and at birthday parties. I would trust her. She's a single working mother, and I don't believe DD would be in harm's way at her house overnight.

    I'm wary of asking though, because of threads like these over the years. Some people tend to respond as if you must be a child molester to even invite a child over for the night, and it just makes me nervous about offering. DD would love a sleepover, I'm just not sure how to offer without her thinking I'm some weirdo freak like some forum members have made me feel I'd come across as.

    DD is 7 and has spent several nights at my mother's house too. I don't consider that sleeping over, I consider that me scoring a child-free night. lol.

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    1234
    Posts
    2,821
    Thanks
    887
    Thanked
    583
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default Re: *Trigger Topic* Sleepovers.. What age/with whom?

    Quote Originally Posted by WineTime View Post
    Do you actually want to hear other people opinions? You always seem to get your back up when someone doesn't agree with you or tell you what you want to hear.
    Yes I was just saying that what is "normal" for one person and family isn't always for another. I'm always reading that it's a family member or friend and so that kind of leaves me feeling like I can't trust anybody

  3. #23
    mummabec's Avatar
    mummabec is offline I could hold you for a million years, to make you feel my love
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    906
    Thanks
    141
    Thanked
    75
    Reviews
    4
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default *Trigger Topic* Sleepovers.. What age/with whom?

    My DD's sleep over at the grandparents houses fairly often and have done so since about 9 months. As for friends I have 2 g/f's with daughters similar ages and would be happy to have them stay there if they were invited/we asked for some reason.

    As for school friends etc. probably around 6-7 ish but I'll have to see what they're like when they get there as its still 3-4 years away.

  4. #24
    London's Avatar
    London is offline “I think we're losing our sense of humor instead of being able to relax and laugh at ourselves" - Betty White
    Winner 2012 - BubHubber you'd like to meet IRL
    Winner 2012 - Best Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    11,392
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked
    4,936
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    DS is now 8.
    He first stayed at my mother and stepfathers house when he was 6weeks old. That became a fortnightly sleepover for a long time.
    He has cousins who are a year older than him so from the age they could start playing together (probably just past 1yr) we would do lots of sleepovers...they would come to our place and DS would go to their place. Sometimes we would be present (have dinner and stay the night etc.) other times we wouldnt be (we would get to go out for the night).
    DS has slept over many people houses and to be honest I have never really thought about sexual abuse. He has stayed at people I dont know THAT well (school friends) a few times and has always had a blast and has had nothing sinister to report back.
    I do hope none of his friends parents are worried when their kids come to stay here....honestly never considered it.

    You could start out with play dates first and invite parents for a coffee etc. before being 100% comfortable with a sleep over if you are worried.

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    335
    Thanks
    19
    Thanked
    48
    Reviews
    0

    Default *Trigger Topic* Sleepovers.. What age/with whom?

    My 2 girls have been having sleepovers since they were bubba's with my family (mum &stepdad, dad & stepmum, sister & BIL) and sleepovers with their friends since 4 yrs old - I don't have any issue with it and think it's perfectly normal. Like PPs mentioned I just try to arm them with the right skills to understand when something is wrong and do something about it. TBH I don't really understand why patents wouldn't want their kids to experience it as it was a great part of growing up am I cautious about where they go? Absolutely! But I don't really put limits on it either

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    3,037
    Thanks
    1,498
    Thanked
    730
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    3yrs at my sisters place and also at my daughters best friends place .. Loves it !!

  7. #27
    London's Avatar
    London is offline “I think we're losing our sense of humor instead of being able to relax and laugh at ourselves" - Betty White
    Winner 2012 - BubHubber you'd like to meet IRL
    Winner 2012 - Best Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    11,392
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked
    4,936
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Just having a quick read through the replies...

    If you want your child to have a friend sleep over, just ask their parents. Its honestly not that big of a deal. If the parent thinks their child will be at risk or instantly thinks you might be up to something, they can refuse. Simple. I really dont see the harm in asking.

    DS really wanted a particular friend to sleep over....this kid was in his kindy, pre primary and yr 1 class, but the mother didnt talk to me for some reason. Not sure why but she just kind of avoided me. Anyway, DS wanted her kid to stay over so I approached her at school one day and told her "DS really wants your DS to sleep over. Its fine by me but seeming as though you dont really know us, I understand if you want to say no. You are welcome to come over and have coffee sometime or something and the boys can play for a bit." I gave her my mobile number and never heard from her. I continued to see her every day at school and she never spoke to me. Obviously something about me ticked her off......but at least I could tell DS that I had asked and the mother didnt want to, so pick another friend for a sleep over....which he did.

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to London For This Useful Post:

    LoveHeart  (12-01-2013)

  9. #28
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    747
    Thanks
    132
    Thanked
    395
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    My kids have slept at my parents place a lot, they have a close relationship its like their 2nd home.
    They're quite young so nowhere else yet like my sisters, my bff wants to take my son to their holiday house but I think he's too young to actually go away, but when he's older like much older and he wants to I'll allow that, he spends alot of time with her and her kids.
    As for slumber parties when they're ready and I know the families I think it's fine. I loved slumber parties as a kid, can't imagine my kids missing out on that experience through my own fears.

  10. #29
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    12,708
    Thanks
    9,558
    Thanked
    12,691
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week

    Default *Trigger Topic* Sleepovers.. What age/with whom?

    Probably 2 years for grandparents and my sister/hubby's brother and their family.

    Others... Not sure maybe 15?

  11. #30
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    12,708
    Thanks
    9,558
    Thanked
    12,691
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week

    Default *Trigger Topic* Sleepovers.. What age/with whom?

    Quote Originally Posted by Aroha0509 View Post
    My 2 girls have been having sleepovers since they were bubba's with my family (mum &stepdad, dad & stepmum, sister & BIL) and sleepovers with their friends since 4 yrs old - I don't have any issue with it and think it's perfectly normal. Like PPs mentioned I just try to arm them with the right skills to understand when something is wrong and do something about it.
    Not meaning to be argy bargy but is a 4 year old really going to be able to understand when something is wrong? Are they going to be able to see through advanced adult lies and manipulation? And are they going to be able to know how to react quickly enough (ie before the abuse happens)?

  12. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to VicPark For This Useful Post:

    LoveHeart  (12-01-2013),~ElectricPink~  (12-01-2013)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 185
    Last Post: 07-07-2012, 22:10
  2. *WARNING* Possible Trigger Topic - Anyone watching 60 minutes?
    By katezane in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 166
    Last Post: 21-05-2012, 10:08

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Fridge-To-Go Australasia
Xmas with a NEW Fridge-to-go Lunch Bag! Fridge-To-Go Australasia
Fridge-to-go 8 hour cooler bags are ideal under the Christmas tree! Now in modern lunch bag designs - fill them with toys and chocolate to make parents and kids happy! Stay super cool and eat healthy and fresh food all summer long!
sales & new stuffsee all
True Fairies
True Fairies is the first interactive website where children can engage and speak with a real fairy through the unique webcam fairy portal. Each session is tailored to the child, and is filled with enchantment and magic.
Visit website to find out more!
featured supporter
Cryosite Family Cord Blood & Tissue Bank
Cryosite has been providing Cord Blood Banking services for over 12 years, and is the trusted choice of Australian families. To discuss the benefits of banking your baby's cord blood & tissue stem cells call us on 1800 220 410.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!