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  1. #1
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    Default Help with 11 week old sleep

    DS is now 11 weeks old and has sleep issues.

    He generally wakes for the day at 7am (however lately it can be anywhere from 6am onwards). He then will only sleep for 30 minutes at a time throughout the day.

    He is purely breastfed and feeds anywhere from 2.5 -4 hours during the day depending on sleep. We do the eat/play/sleep "routine". So he wakes has a feed and then was showing signs of being tired only an hour after waking (including feed). So I change nappy if needed, put him in his love to dream swaddle cuddle to calm then put him in his cot awake and leave room. We have been doing this since around 6 weeks and he was really good at putting himself to sleep without real crying, just wingy cries and would take anywhere from 5-15 mins to go to sleep. But then 40 minutes later he was awake again.

    I was originally trying to do SOS however it wasn't working for us so I gave up on it but according to it DS age should be awake for 2 hours and that if they are going down too early they may be tired enough to nap but not sleep. So I started trying to stretch him to 1.5-2 hours depending on how tired he was acting. He was going to sleep a lot quicker but it didn't affect how long he slept for.

    I previously tried to get him to settle again after waking by patting in the cot, cuddling, shushing etc. but he would just be crying and squirming and fighting me for the next hour by which time I figured he was now getting hungry, I was in tears so I gave up and fed him and started the process again.

    However about a week ago I was in tears at every sleep time and just not coping so I gave up trying to make him sleep during the day as he generally sleeps from 7-7 with only one to two waking for feeds and everyone was telling me you can't expect him to sleep all the time.

    This too is not working as by mid afternoon he is just so tired. He is now taking a lot longer to settle himself to sleep during the day and at 7pm he has been terrible. Not just wingy crying but works himself up to the point we are cuddling him pretty much to sleep. Can take anywhere up to an hour to get him to sleep because he is so overtired.

    During the night he wakes for feed, feeds and goes back to sleep. I put him back in his cot and he either stays asleep or opens his eyes and wriggles for a few seconds to get comfortable and then is asleep for 4 or more hours. I am generally only out of bed for half an hour each time.

    He doesn't have a dummy. He will take one as I have tried it on occasion and it does help calm him so he doesn't cry himself to sleep but he then drops it when dozing off and wakes himself up so I don't want to use it while he can't pick it back up himself as I don't want it interfere with his sleeping during the night.

    This all started around 6-8 weeks around the time "they wake up" and I was told it was normal. Well at this point it doesn't feel normal but I understand it might be but it doesn't help us. DS is not happy most of the day he is grizzly so clearly needs to sleep more.

    So if you have read this far as I have realised this has turned into a massive post sorry, I am looking for suggestions on how to handle this issue or causes for it.

    Oh most of the time if I take him out of his room I can get him to go back to sleep in my arms and then out him beside me on my bed but still in my arm and he can sleep for up to two hours in total but I don't do this all the time and I don't want him to get used to sleeping in my arms either.

    Any help would be greatly appreciated as I am not currently enjoying motherhood and I feel guilty about feeling this way.

  2. #2
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    Default Help with 11 week old sleep

    If you're willing to hover around while he is self-settling during the day, I'd try the dummy again! My LO most of the time will put himself to sleep with a dummy, and if it falls out he'll sometimes whinge a bit so I just hover around and keep putting the dummy back in if it falls out. After a couple of times of putting it back in it usually stays until he's asleep and he pushes in out but it's never disturbed him! That's how I usually know he's gone and I don't always have to hover around either, and at night it's never an issue. I can put him down and go straight back to bed.

    Obviously it's not for everyone but it's worth a try? I've found with my little man play, feed, sleep works better. We're not in a routine besides bath time, but whenever he wakes up from a nap he's always quite content for 30-45 minutes before he wants grub so we have playtime, then a feed and sleep. Bub's always sleep better with a full tummy! My LO is 11 weeks as well or you could look at getting a carrier for during the day so bub is happy sleeping on mum and you can get more done during the day.
    Last edited by callmedragon22; 10-01-2013 at 20:09.

  3. #3
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    Default Help with 11 week old sleep

    That's normal behaviour for an 11wk old. Actually at that age both my girls were feeding 1-2hrly day time and dd2 was having 2-3feeds overnight as well.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to Rose&Aurelia&Hannah For This Useful Post:

    Bubbles10  (10-01-2013)

  5. #4
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    Default Help with 11 week old sleep

    DD1 was a terrible catnapper during the day. She slept from 7pm-6am solid and self settled but would only have 2 forty min naps the whole day. I drove myself bonkers trying to make her sleep longer! I read every book, tried a few different methods, spoke to sleep schools and hired a sleep consultant. Nothing worked at all. But she was happy when awake so in the end I just accepted it and went with her cues. That instantly took the stress out of it.

    I think no naps isn't a good idea especially if its affecting his sleeping overnight. If he is happy when awake then I would go back to what you were doing and following his cues. I think your doing all the right things re: the dummy and well done on getting him to self settle.

    I'm sorry your not enjoying motherhood, I do remember feeling the same way. The only advice I can give is that when I relaxed and accepted that my baby wasn't a day time sleeper, things got better!

    It won't be like this forever, once DD1 dropped to one sleep a day at about 8 months, the naps stretched out and she now sleeps a good 2 hours everyday!

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    Default Help with 11 week old sleep

    Have u tried white noise? When my DS is unsettled and not hungry sometimes that is the only thing that will settle him. Worked with my DD as well. Not to hard to wean them off either as u can gradually decrease the sound level.

  7. #6
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    Default Help with 11 week old sleep

    I have read this post don't be too stressed (easy to say on outside) your doing a lot of great things its all trial and error and with our first child we all don't know we are just learning everything step by step being a mum no one tells you the bad things just the good but it's well worth it my two are now 4 &2 and both were so different.
    I'm in no way telling you what to do only to give ideas on what u could do or change or add into you day etc you just take on what ever u feel is good.
    Ill put out a day routine for you here and I hope it in some way helps .

    Wake up say 6.30am feeds burp change nappie play on floor change put clean nappy on wrap baby quiet time by holding then place in bed once calm and sleepy. Keep bub up no longer then 1 hr if u can. Should sleep for 3 hrs if he wake at 2.5 hrs great dent feed straight away if u can get away with it try play for a bit till the 3 hrs between feeds change nappy before feed not after as he may want to go straight to bed wrap and put down if u feed every 2.5 hrs it may become routine for him but not work well for u and if your stressed etc he will know.

    Proceed this again (quiet time is great before bed especially if they have been stimulated a lot)

    For late arvo wake say around 5-6.30 wake bath play feed if he doesn't like baths and is unsettled and cranky giving him bath first will make him worse you can do play bath then feed or play feed and bath but if you try to do the same thing each time he will hopefully become aware that its time for bed etc !!! Then put down at 7.30 .

    At night wake ups change nappie before feed then bf him place him straight into bed .do not make eye contact or talk as this can stimulate them and they may not wont to go down or will be hard to get down.


    Things won't change over night just remember that it takes persistence with baby's getting into a better routine

    it usually takes 3 days to learn something new and one to unlearn so if you keep up with it that's great.

    Can I ask do you still burp him?
    Are you introducing water?
    Is he mayb constipated or got wind and tummy ache?
    Does he feed well? Or does he play around?

    If he is unsettled and your struggling to get him off to sleep check for all the obvious signs wet dirty nappy wind tummy ache cold hot etc is nothing u see wrong shhh him talk quietly mayb put some white noise on in the back ground soft music does help that was my saviour! Pat him rock him in bed use dummy only pick him up if he is uncontrollable once you calmed him down put him back down leave hand on him patting gently if it works keep patting once he slowly goes to sleep hold hand down with slight pressure and release hand so slowly that he won't realise you have stopped if he wakes like u said in 15 mins wait don't rush to him every time he makes a noise let him get himself off like I said earlier he will expect you to come to him if that's what you've been doing so this will be a game thing less time u go to him the less he will do this (hopefully)

    You can try doing controlled crying where you go in after 2 mins settle dnt pick up if u can leave if he crys again go in at 3 mins repeat go in at 4 mins get the picture leave it a min longer each time he eventually will get that your not gonna come back every time and just stop ..

    Is his bed raised on a 45degree angle? If not raise it by folding blankets or towels underneath it this helps if they have wind to bring it up. Make his room dark and peaceful.

    I think your doing such a great job and your doing all the right things your being a wonderful mum to him if it gets to much sometimes just close the door to his room go outside for some fresh air preferably where you can't hear him cry for 5 mins when you go back you will feel much better dnt feel quilts to take that small time for you he depends on you so you need to be at the best of health etc.

    My son second child never stopped crying I know it sounds horrible but at the time me and dh didn't like him and because he was so bad it took me nearly 2-3 months to get a strong bond with him he vomited every feed over everything cried constantly and slept for 2 hrs until he was 3 months when I did the above and put him in his own room he then slept from 7-7 and still does never woke for night feedsit took a while but if you persist it pays off.

    Keep strong and enjoy every moment as it really does go so fast I wish I did but at that moment all u want to do is scream and sleep...

  8. #7
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    It sounds like my DD around that time. She too turned terrible sleeper at around 8weeks and this was at night time too!

    naps are definitely needed when you see tired signs - they're still so little and I found that DD could only stay up 1.5hours max so ditch what SOS is telling you if you think ur bub is tired and needs sleep.

    I introduced the dummy at 10weeks and that helped a bit to calm DD.. I also had a few day naps of holding her in my arms and letting her have a good sleep for a couple of hrs (and me too!) because I thought it was needed for everyone's sake - that helped a lot as well and didn't develop any bad habits... At some point, I resigned to the fact that she was going to catnap so she would have 5 or so catnapps a day and whilst tiring, it was the best I could do to make sure she was getting enough sleep - and yes I did rock her some times when I was at wits end..

    fast forward to now and she mostly settles in her bed day and night, has one long morning nap, 2 catnaps and sleeps fairly well at night 7.30 - 7 or 8am with one feed overnight. I didn't really do anything that differently but found that as she got older, she became a bit more receptive to me trying different methods and she just must have got the hang of it.

    sorry probably didn't help much but wanted to share my experience and let u know that i know how it feels but it does get better!!! Hang in there...

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    Default Help with 11 week old sleep

    Sorry this will be brief, but so I don't over complicate things, I would go back to what you were doing when bubs was self settling for naps.

    Do exactly what you were doing but if bubs only sleeps for one sleep cycle, don't try and resettle, just get them up and wait another 1.5 to 2 hours before putting them down again. It may mean 4 short naps a day but that's better than not enough sleep.

    You could also try feed, play, feed sleep. You may find this will fill bubs tummy up so when they go to sleep they may go into two sleep cycles as they aren't waking up hungry.

    I wouldn't go down the route of carrying bub for all sleeps, co-sleeping etc as you know bubs can self settle, so go back to what you did when bubs was able to do this and focus on this more than the amount of time each sleep goes for. Most bubs don't know how to self settle until at least 6 months, so what an awesome job you were doing to manage it before 11 weeks!

    Good luck hun, just try not to get too upset by the catnapping. If bubs is self settling then catnapping isn't a problem, it's just normal. Try not to be so hard on yourself, every bub is different and sometimes you just need to tweak things and see what works.

  10. #9
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    Thanks everyone for your replies.

    He is still putting himself to sleep for the first part of the sleep but just wakes up after 30 mins and is taking longer to go to sleep now but am thinking that's because he is over tired.

    Btmac I feel like I shouldn't be complaining when DS sleeps so well at night and others don't but I think that is why. I just can't get my head around why he can sleep more than one cycle at night but not during the day.

    If he was awake and happy then it wouldn't be so bad. But I know he is tired he just fights it so much. I really don't want to get him used to sleeping in my arms as I swore I would never do that but some times it's the only way he will sleep and he is just so tired by the end of the day his poor little eyes are so red.

    I am also unsure as to if he is waking because he is hungry during the day or not. I had him weighed on Monday and he had put on 500gms in three weeks. Which is still slightly more than the expected 150 per week but when he had been consistently putting on 200 plus prior to that I am now wondering if my supply is dropping. I will be getting him weighed again on Monday and I guess that will give me an indication.

    So for now I guess I will just go back to putting him down when he starts showing he is tired, around the 1 hour mark and see how we go.

    Thank you for all your support. It is nice to be able to come here and know I'm not alone.

  11. #10
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    Default Help with 11 week old sleep

    I really doubt it's your milk supply as he is gaining weight beautifully. At this age bub will slow down their weight a bit and your supply will settle.

    Some babies need help with their sleeping. My suggestion to you is to let bub have their first nap in the cot and then pop them in the carrier to finish it off if they wake. After a few weeks they would have gotten into the habit of sleeping 1-2hrs etc and resettle easier. This is what I have done with my dd2.

    Catnapping is normal and most kids grow out of it by the time they move to 1-2 sleeps a day.


 

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