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    Default If a child continuosly bullies yours...

    The thread about letting people know who else is coming to playdates; there is a toddler around the same age as dd that is a little turd and his Mum never pulls him up on it.
    If you have a toddler/young child and another child always pushes/steals toys/hurts them etc. and the parent never intervenes would you let your child give it back or would you just move them away?

    I move dd away and encourage her to play with something else, just curious what other people would do?

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    Default If a child continuosly bullies yours...

    Yep I move them away if it gets ridiculous

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    Default If a child continuosly bullies yours...

    I have intervened as this happens with my friend's son. I gave up on her, as it happened all the time, so if he hits my child, I say something. But, I avoid seeing her now, which I hate because she's really nice.

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    I move DD1 away and encourage her to play with someone or something else. I also make sure I say something along the lines of...DD remember what mummy says, if somebody isn't being nice to you then you should find somebody else to play with because friends shouldn't be mean to each other...I usually make sure the other child and/or parent hear if I don't feel the other parent has intervened. (I wouldn't do this with DD2 who is only 2 as I don't think it's age appropriate, I would just move her away)
    If my DD is in the wrong then I am sure to pull her up on her behaviour!

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    London is offline “I think we're losing our sense of humor instead of being able to relax and laugh at ourselves" - Betty White
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    I have told other kids off when they parents havent before (when my son is involved). Not yelling or anything but if its a toddler I do the 'uh uh, not nice' or 'be gentle' kind of thing. For older kids I have no problem with a quick 'excuse me, can you stop doing xyz'. Mama Bear mode kicks in...thankfully DS is pretty assertive and handles most his problems himself.

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    I have said to the other child (in a nice day-care voice kind of way) "Sam, you need to be gentle with Kim, gentle touches" (demonstrate gentle touches if age appropriate). If they keep doing it I will distract my child to another toy/area if the parent still doesnt get it I will say to my child "Kim lets move away from Sam, he needs some space to himself right now". I have never met another parent who hasn't caught on.

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    I just tell other kids off.

    You just have to say to them, "Hey, that's not very nice. That's not how we treat other people!"

    Usually it freaks them out that someone they don't know very well is telling them off, and they back off. If it was a kid too young to understand that stuff, I'd not be expecting them to play nicely and thus just keep my kid away from them.

    If I know the child well, I will just tell them off a little more harshly.

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    Default If a child continuosly bullies yours...

    I agree with London and ThePouts.

    We sometimes have issues at play centers.
    I have never had to say anything to the parents, but I will go over to the other child and say "Ok, that's not how we play.... And so on"

    I know once at a play center dd was 13mo and there was a boy who was about 3yo.
    He kept poking dd and snatching every toy off her.
    I had tried to sort it out but no luck, couldn't see any other parents around either that would be his.
    He went away for a bit and I went to grab dd's water and the boy came and bit and pushed dd over.
    I was furious by that point and of course dd was screaming, I made a bigger than usual fuss... Just loudly saying "Oh dd what happened?!?!"
    "Did he bite you?!" A few other parents came over to see if everything was ok.
    The mother then finally came over and sorted it out.
    I always try and make it known to the parents with out actually having to tell them IYKWIM.

    If I ever needed to say something to another parent I would have no issues.
    If my dd was acting in that way, not being friendly or bullying I would appreciate the heads up from another parent and make sure dd had apologized and then I could see why she felt the need to act that way.
    At the moment she is 2 and I watch her like a hawk at play dates lol.
    I don't know how some parents just let them run wild at such young ages.
    We were at the water park the other day and a little boy who would have been 2 came over and was talking to me and fascinated by dd, I didn't mind but I asked where his mummy was and he didn't know, or didn't really understand me, he was very young. after a good 5-10 mins the mums comes back from the toilet, she actually just left her son out in the open at the water park alone :what:

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    Yep, I move the boys away and depending on how well I know the kid (and how scary the parents look!) will tell them it's not a nice way to play.

    Have actually been on the other end too - when DS1 was about 1.5, his aunt (my baby sister, same age) bit him and he decided to try it out on a kid at the park just out of curiosity. The other kid's mum and I saw at the same time so we both went over, I apologised a lot and Sam was confused until I told him that biting hurts and then he said sorry, the other mum was thankful and waved it off. Not hard to take responsibility for that I don't think!

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    Default Re: If a child continuosly bullies yours...

    Ds1 is a little older then what your asking but one incident we had was at a park. We met up with my friend and her daughter of the same age. Kids were having fun playing then all of a sudden ds comes over crying. Another boy (about 10!) said he would 'snap ds neck if he didn't p off'. I went over, scolded him and made him show me where his mum was. She was very good about it. I'm pretty sure he lost a few privileges.

    Sorry to go on a bit. More on topic, with ds2 I use the daycare approach. If he's been a turd 'No L, we don't do that. Gentle touch/share'. If he's being picked on I will try and say that to the other child and if it doesn't work 'L, so and so needs some space. Lets play over here'

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