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  1. #1
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    Post Introducing myself - new to IVF

    Hi my name is Susana, and I am 39 years old.

    A little a bit me:

    I have been married since December 2012. First marriage. Took me a long time to find the right man that I wanted to spend the right of my life with. Had real bad luck in the crappy men department! Hubby and I started TTC 3 months before we got married. In January of 2012 we fell pregnant! I have never been pregnant for me, so I was unbelievably OVERJOYED!! However early February 2012, we miscarried. To be honest, I have really in the past couple of months have really grieved and been really emotional. We have bee TTC since February, with no sucess whatsoever. Saw a naturopath a few months ago, who said I had to change my diet as it seemed I was too acidic, and needed to be balanced into alkaline. So I changed my eating habits for the better. saw two Fertility Specialists. One in April 2012, which I did a blood test, which showed everything was good with me except that my AMH (anti-mulerian, low ovarian reserve) level was 7, which normal is 14. However at my age that is still good. She didn't want to see me again until September/October, and believed I would fall pregnant within that time. Obviously I didn't.

    I went to see another FS # 2 (fertility specialist), who at first seemed great then was so plain rude when he asked why I was here to see him, when I said why (like der?!), he said "well, you're old to have children." I was gobsmaked and shocked at this. Yes I know I'm old, however women are still giving birth at my age and older, and even first time mothers!! jerk!! He did an external ultrasound on my pelvic region, which he said "I have a very beautiful uterus. Very very beautiful". He sent me off for a HSG, a flushing/examination of my fallopian tubes.

    I was booked in and man, was that painful!!! Results: my left tube is blocked, unknown as to why, but right tube is normal and ok. Hubby had his fellas checked and he has perfect super sperm. FS # 2 didn't want to see me again til March/April of this year. I decided, to look for another FS as I was so let down and disappointed by past two FS's that i wanted someone that is going to hear me, support me and assist me.

    Lucky FS # 3, I saw in December 2012, and he apologised for last two FS's especially as he had trained them both and decided immediate action and putting me straight to IVF. I broke down crying feeling useless and a lost cause, as I am the one who is struggling to help us have our baby. Hubby and I did our blood tests right then. I am scheduled for an internal ultrasound of my ovaries and eggs, and I am nervous as hell, as you can imagine.

    I also started seeing in November a chinese doctor, which I get acupuncture done every Tuesday and take chinese herbal medicine.

    I have been more emotional, especially so when close friends announced a day before their wedding two weeks ago that they are 9 weeks pregnant. I am so happy for them but obviously it broke my heart wishing it was me. So I went on a drinking binge that night with my moscate wine mate . I was alone at home, as hubby was part of the bridalparty and he stayed up the night with them all. He rang me to tell the news.

    I am now OK with that I will be going through IVF but also so scared as I google and read up on women my age who aren't successful. We have a friend who is just 29 and has been doing IVF for 3 years with no success, and is now having to use a donor egg as her eggs are no good. I'm just wondering if there are women out there with only one fallopian tube that works and older like me and first timers.

    Needing some IVF support and advice. Wondering what happens after this ultrasound? We see the FS at the end of this month for results and the next step. I have all the paperwork filled in and just need to send off.

    I'm so glad I found this forum that helps women going through IVF.

    Thank you for reading my post and hope to make new friends.

    Hugs Susana

  2. #2
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    Hi Susana,

    Wow, alot going on for you right now. All I can say is - 'breathe! It's all ok!' If there's one thing I've learn't going through this merry-go-round of IVF, it's never, and I mean NEVER, compare yourself to anyone else. Every single person is completely different. What works someone else will certainly not work for you and vice verser. I panicked, worried, made myself sick - literally, and it wasn't until I actually calmed down and paid attention to myself and MY body did I actually make a difference to my in/ability to have a baby. On my third, and final, round of IUI, I proudly brought healthy, beautiful twins into the world.
    To get them I:

    1 Lost weight. I don't care if this girl on the internet got pregnant weighing 250kg, it's gotta help to loose weight, so I did (25kgs) and it helped! Being in a healthy weight range for your height increases your ability to A: Conceive, B: Remain pregnant without serious complications and C: Deliver a healthy baby without and risks to you or them!

    2 Chillled out. I meditated, visualised being a mummy, had Reiki and saw a "Spirit Doctor".

    3 Ate healthy, whole, nutritious food and cut the caffeine and alcohol for a good 5 months before my final attempt.

    4 Took preconception vitamins - daily.

    5 Listened to ME. If I felt a particular thing, however weird or nuts it may have seemed to someone else, was going to assist me on my journey to motherhood, I did it. Whatever it was! Literally whatever it was!

    6 Find a positive mental place and stay there, even if you have to work your guts at it some days, and you absolutely will. Be happy for your friends falling pregnant, rejoice in their babies births and let the universe know you are ready and in the right frame of mind to join them. When you fell sad and say to yourself 'I don't have what she has,' or, 'I'm not anyone's Mummy', the universe hears that and gives you more of exactly that. WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT YOU BRING ABOUT!

    Be positive girl and imagine yourself holding your gorgeous baby. What does he/she look like? How does he/she smell? What's it like being someone's Mummy? Don't worry and stress so much about the process, just go with the flow, remain CALM and everything will fall into place.
    Last edited by Samoht; 10-01-2013 at 21:23.

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    DancingQueen73  (11-01-2013)

  4. #3
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    Hi Susana

    Unfortunately there is no easy answer to what you are going through right now. It is just plain hard. The ups, downs, highs and lows and waiting - oh lord the waiting! - define the ivf journey. You just have to keep on doing what you are doing - set your goal and take it one step at a time (with as few drinking binges as possible along the way!
    )

    All I know about you is what i have just read but I think you need to give yourself a pat on the back for the determination that you have already shown. Refusing to take no for an answer and dismissing FS's that were not willing to back you shows a lot of courage. Keep on going the way you are and don't give up.

    This forum is great and it helped me and my partner a lot. Like you though, it took me a while to find it. I also had lots of friends going through ivf who were looking for a place they could privately seek information from, or vent to, people going through the same thing. With that in mind, I have started a site myself which is focussed on infertility support only. Early days still, but hopefully it will be another place to find support and advice as the numbers grow.

    BabyBelief

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    DancingQueen73  (11-01-2013)

  6. #4
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    Hi Susana. I, like you are 39 and married in 2011. Despite that I have been TTC since 2006. I have low AMH of 4.5 and DH has issues so we've done ICSI which is where the identify a seemingly good sperm and inject straight in to the egg. So far unsuccessful. For our next cycle we're doing Assisted Hatching. This is where they make a slight weak point in the wall of the fertilised egg to assist it to hatch out. Apparently us older ladies can have eggs that have a hard shell making hatching difficult.

    You should feel pretty positive about your chances given you've managed to conceive very recently. That is a great sign. Don't blame yourself for what is happening, it is not your fault. And blaming yourself won't change anything and it won't help you to get pregnant. Like Babybelief says you just need to get on with doing what you can now you've got some answers. I'm a big believer in what Samoht said too that you need to imagine and have faith that it will happen. There is some evidence which suggests that the hormones released when we are stressed and/or depressed can be counterproductive to conceiving. So put that smile on and keep it there!

    What was said to you buy the FS is disgraceful and I've no doubt has affected how you feel about your chances. He/she should not be practising in fertility issues. Sounds like you may have found the right one now.

    Has your FS discussed what protocol you'll be on? That will determine what happens next. And the first cycle really needs to be considered as a bit experimental because they don't know how you'll respond.

    Stay connected with BubHub you'll get loads of support and great advice.

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    DancingQueen73  (11-01-2013)

  8. #5
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    Thanks to everyone for your positive and encouring words of advise. I am to see my FS on the 21 January, along with my hubby to see what the next step is, what we will be doing. I have posted yesterday the police check application and the child protection forms. I know that it takes about 2 week for the police check to come back. Then I'm to have the counselling, then I think thats when it all happens. So at this stage I don't even know what type of IVF or drugs etc I will be doing. But I have been unusually more happier since I did my internal ultrasound. Like really positive, really happy. Even earlier this morning I dreamnt that I was holding twins, and I gave one of the twins to my husband to hold so I could breast feed the other. I woke up feeling I dreamnt that again, when I have NEVER had a baby dream before. Not in the sense that I had the baby myself. NEVER!!! The other week I dreamnt I went to grab a baby to hold that had its arms out to me, but I don't think it was mine. But to dream this earlier this morning made my day!! I still can't believe I dreamnt that I had a baby. I have never ever dreamnt of that before!!! And this time it was twins!!! Although a friend of mine texted me last night saying I could have twins cos doing the IVF, so I think thats what triggered off the dream, but still I dreamnt I had a baby!!!!

    But thank you all loveluy ladies for your advise and I will definitely take in what you have all shared and said. Baby dust to all of us!!

  9. #6
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    Glad to read you're feeling more positive DancingQueen. I just wanted to let you know that I too was 39 and after a year of trying (I married later too) we couldn't find any reason for our infertility but my AMH was only 4.7 so we went into IVF. We were incredibly lucky to have success first time with twins (I'm 11 weeks now and still crossing my fingers we progress well).

    I'm not saying that this is the norm, I was completely expecting that the IVF journey was going to be a lengthy one. But I wanted to say that I worried myself about the effects of IVF (I had no side effects at all except constipation - no emotional ups and downs or anything from the drugs). I also worried about how long it would take. I suppose I'm saying, don't let the 'idea' of IVF scare you. The best advice I got was to 'be humble about it'. Take each step as you come to it and be grateful for the opportunity (in years past this wasn't an option). Keep on doing what you're doing and expect the best advice - don't put up with rubbish medical professionals, there are plenty of good ones out there and it's great that you're seeking them out! Well done so far and good luck on your journey!!

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to NAT256 For This Useful Post:

    DancingQueen73  (11-01-2013)

  11. #7
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    Thank you @ Nat256. Congratulations to your wonderful news! I am taking it all in stride and trying to not get nervous or scared. Obviously when I see my FS next week I may be a little jittery LOL, but I will try to remain as calm as I possibly can.

    Thank you all lovely ladies, and good luck to all of us to get our BCP's, and holding our babies xx

  12. #8
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    Allymumtobe is offline Winner 2012 - Most Optimistic Poster
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    Default Introducing myself - new to IVF

    Welcome to the ivf crazy!!! Warheads cancelled cycle a good cycle a bad transfer and I'm 18.5 weeks currently but unfortunately our baby has trisomy 18 so we don't know how this journey will end but ivf wise we did well!!


 

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