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  1. #21
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    Default Share House/Student House

    I don't expect them to be quiet during the day or even through the night as I said in an earlier post, the house holds it's noise in its rooms very well (I've wandered downstairs at midnight before and a housemate has been partying with mates yelling and I didn't even know because I couldn't hear them upstairs). The only problem is the sound system downstairs but the housemate who owns that is potentially moving out, and he's always getting yelled at by the other housemates for it so I'd say that habit of his will not be tolerated this year newborn in the house or not.

    I won't be stopping uni at all and I know it will be difficult until I can get into the swing of it (very difficult) but Im confident I will be fine (Im a uni student after all, I've mastered uni on two hours sleep, a 5000 word essay and a lot of scotch before so reverse it from the idiot partying and cramming to small periods of study when I can etc it'll be doable. Very difficult but doable).

    If I moved back to dads it's quite likely that he won't be there at all so I will be 2 hours from my support (close friends) and uni. If I did that I would move back to Newcastle after six months though (so in the new year 2014).
    Last edited by αληθη; 08-01-2013 at 09:10.

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by αληθη View Post
    I don't expect them to be quiet during the day or even through the night as I said in an earlier post, the house holds it's noise in its rooms very well (I've wandered downstairs at midnight before and a housemate has been partying with mates yelling and I didn't even know because I couldn't hear them upstairs). The only problem is the sound system downstairs but the housemate who owns that is potentially moving out, and he's always getting yelled at by the other housemates for it so I'd say that habit of his will not be tolerated this year newborn in the house or not.

    I won't be stopping uni at all and I know it will be difficult until I can get into the swing of it (very difficult) but Im confident I will be fine (Im a uni student after all, I've mastered uni on two hours sleep, a 5000 word essay and a lot of scotch before so reverse it from the idiot partying and cramming to small periods of study when I can etc it'll be doable. Very difficult but doable).

    If I moved back to dads it's quite likely that he won't be there at all so I will be 2 hours from my support (close friends) and uni. If I did that I would move back to Newcastle after six months though (so in the new year 2014).
    You really seem to have made your mind up and already *know* everything then.

    Who will look after the baby when you're in lectures or tutes? The absolute minimum for daycare centres is 6 weeks. Have you already booked into one? Some areas have a really long wait.

    As someone who has also been a uni student who slept little I have to say sleep deprivation from a baby is very different to sleep deprivation from clubbing...babies are physically and emotionally draining. Honestly, don't commit yourself to too much yet...

  3. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Luna Lovegood For This Useful Post:

    *Need~More~Coffee~Please*  (08-01-2013),babyla  (08-01-2013),GirlsRock  (08-01-2013),MissMuppet  (08-01-2013),Mom2TwoDSs  (08-01-2013)

  4. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Luna Lovegood View Post
    I think sometimes people underestimate the amount and volume newborns cry. I would never, ever live in a share house with a newborn. Their cry is designed to jerk you from the deepest of sleeps.

    Also I think it's unreasonable to expect your house mates to be quiet at night or through the day to prevent waking the newborn up. No pre-drink before clubbing, no friends coming back, no parties and limiting house guests (because you can't just have every Tom, D!ck and Harry loitering about your house with a baby in it)...that's a lot to ask a uni student!

    I would move back to your Dad's- he is more likely to provide with respite, support and financially it will be easier. When do you plan on returning to uni? Could you move closer once your baby is sleeping through and content (this can vary from 6 weeks to 6 months or longer)? I wouldn't want to be doing uni on 3 hours of broken sleep every night- especially if you're hoping for good grades.
    I agree with all of this.

    OP I have been thinking about this most of the morning and my opinion is that you need to consider your friendships - this is the kind of thing which may not end well. Even the best intentions, best planning will never, ever prepare you for what it is like to have a newborn.

    I think you are throwing so much into the mix, having a baby, doing it on your own, staying at uni, living in a share house - the best advice I can give you is to simplify - something will eventually have to give in this situation, it does in every situation of a newborn coming into your life. I'm not saying it can't be done because anything is possible but honestly I don't think this will work and if it does, it will only work for a short time. You and your friends are going to be going through very different life stages - things will not stay the same.

    The first 6-8 weeks are extremely full on, I cannot emphasise this enough, I truly had no idea how full on it would.

    I saying all that I wish you the best of luck with your decision.

    ETA: OP I say this with best intentions, I think you are in denial about the reality of having a baby. I feel like I can say this because I was in denial and got the shock of my life when DS was born.
    Last edited by babyla; 08-01-2013 at 09:24.

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    It seems like you've already made your mind up about staying in the sharehouse. If you've got your heart set on it, then go ahead but I think you need to sit down with the housemates and be clear about what you expect from each other. What happens if after baby comes its not working? Who is going to move out? You should sort that out now so it doesn't end in fights and lost friendships later.

    Baby stuff has a way of taking over the house, will they be okay with living in a babyproofed house? If the baby throws up milk all over the house? When he/she is crawling and gets into their things? I'm not trying to be negative, I just think you all need to be going in with the same understanding and expectations. I've seen good friendships break apart under the pressure of babies and differing expectations.

    I would personally not be happy sharing with a baby, especially if studying. But if your friends are truly okay with it and the rules and expectations are clear it could work. But I'd have a Plan B ready to swing into action if it goes pear shaped.

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    Personally, no I would not consider having my baby in a share house, ever. You seem to pretty certain it will work and possibly it can and has been done before. I think no matter what your flatmates say, having a baby in the house is not going to be familiar.
    I would tend to favour your Dad's place. You could save some money for the bub and this will help you with your studies. You can then create some networks around you with other mums.
    Good luck!

  9. #26
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    Default Share House/Student House

    If I had an alternative, I'd take that for sure.

    I think you should at least consider deferring uni for a semester.

  10. #27
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    Default Share House/Student House

    Quote Originally Posted by Luna Lovegood View Post
    You really seem to have made your mind up and already *know* everything then.

    Who will look after the baby when you're in lectures or tutes? The absolute minimum for daycare centres is 6 weeks. Have you already booked into one? Some areas have a really long wait.

    As someone who has also been a uni student who slept little I have to say sleep deprivation from a baby is very different to sleep deprivation from clubbing...babies are physically and emotionally draining. Honestly, don't commit yourself to too much yet...
    I'm sorry, I was trying to point out some of my houses qualities so I wouldn't be expecting too much of housemates and I was mildly joking about the uni load. I know it's going to be super hard with a newborn but it's not impossible is all I was saying.

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    Default Share House/Student House

    Quote Originally Posted by babyla View Post
    I agree with all of this.

    OP I have been thinking about this most of the morning and my opinion is that you need to consider your friendships - this is the kind of thing which may not end well. Even the best intentions, best planning will never, ever prepare you for what it is like to have a newborn.

    I think you are throwing so much into the mix, having a baby, doing it on your own, staying at uni, living in a share house - the best advice I can give you is to simplify - something will eventually have to give in this situation, it does in every situation of a newborn coming into your life. I'm not saying it can't be done because anything is possible but honestly I don't think this will work and if it does, it will only work for a short time. You and your friends are going to be going through very different life stages - things will not stay the same.

    The first 6-8 weeks are extremely full on, I cannot emphasise this enough, I truly had no idea how full on it would.

    I saying all that I wish you the best of luck with your decision.

    ETA: OP I say this with best intentions, I think you are in denial about the reality of having a baby. I feel like I can say this because I was in denial and got the shock of my life when DS was born.
    This! And with a healthy bub! What if bub is not so robust? Or has high needs?

    Go back to your dads. Defer six months. Next year start up again.

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    Default Share House/Student House

    Quote Originally Posted by Luna Lovegood View Post
    You really seem to have made your mind up and already *know* everything then.

    Who will look after the baby when you're in lectures or tutes? The absolute minimum for daycare centres is 6 weeks. Have you already booked into one? Some areas have a really long wait.

    As someone who has also been a uni student who slept little I have to say sleep deprivation from a baby is very different to sleep deprivation from clubbing...babies are physically and emotionally draining. Honestly, don't commit yourself to too much yet...
    And this too

  13. #30
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    Default Share House/Student House

    Quote Originally Posted by acerbaby View Post
    Personally, no I would not consider having my baby in a share house, ever. You seem to pretty certain it will work and possibly it can and has been done before. I think no matter what your flatmates say, having a baby in the house is not going to be familiar.
    I would tend to favour your Dad's place. You could save some money for the bub and this will help you with your studies. You can then create some networks around you with other mums.
    Good luck!
    The saving money at dads I really don't think will work though. I will be paying my bills at his/board, my groceries and travel to campus which wouldn't really leave much more than living in Newcastle. I definitely am still considering my other options, but as the share house is something I'm not overly familiar with, I wanted this thread to be more about working the pros and cons. I have a lot of worries about all my options and I can see a lot of struggles at dads, although ultimately it's my fallback plan if I can't work out any living arrangements in Newcastle.
    Thank you for those who have posted helpful comments.


 

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