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    αληθη's Avatar
    αληθη is offline BH name read as Aleethee
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    Default Share House/Student House

    *Moderately long back story ending in a question I need to answer by the end of January*

    I currently live in a share house with four friends and our lease is up in Feb. One, maybe two friends, are planning on moving out. I thought of getting a six month lease and moving out just before my bub is due (lease would end early July and I'm due late July). Now where I was considering moving to mid this year was my dads (he has a large house where the bottom floor is like a self contained unit) however this is two hours away from my friends and uni, and I was only going to do it as dad wanted to give me a hand and guidance to get used to having a bub (I'll be a single mum). It's more and more possible that dad will be in either China, America or Newcastle (where I'm living right now) and so I'm wondering if maybe I should talk to my housemates and real estate about renting two rooms in my current place and have the baby there. This would be amazing for me as FOB lives a suburb away from there and has finally decided he wants to know and help with the baby, I will be living with my closest friends who will be part of the baby's life anyway and I will be much closer to uni so I can finish my degree easier (be more flexible/easier access to help and less organizing for exams and frequent traveling to campus) and I can get out working full time already.
    If two of the current housemates move out and I can rent two rooms, I have another close friend who will replace the other friend so it won't be some random in the house either.

    So finally my question is:
    Do you think it would be a good idea to raise a baby in a share house? I live in a complex where i know other share houses have children so i know people do it, but is it a good idea for a first time very new mum? What advice can anyone give me about all of this?

    I know another option is to move out into my own rental, however I've always lived sharing since I moved out of home and don't know if adjusting to that, a newborn and uni would be a good combination. I am still open to the idea though.


    Please only helpful comments, I don't have time to sift through unhelpful posts.

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    Default Share House/Student House

    Hi. Would your friend or Dad be a support to you? I'd let this guide your decision too. Newborns are hard physically as well as emotionally. Good luck in making your decision

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    Default Share House/Student House

    My close friends will all be amazing emotional support for me, as would my dad but with his situation changing it worries me. There's only one housemate who I would need to really talk to about staying in the house with the bub (who incidentally is pretty much my partner, people think we're together because we're just so close so go figure) and the potential other housemate if two move will be a very maternal 27 year old so I'm sure she will be amazing support too.

    Thank you for your reply too

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    Default Share House/Student House

    Tough one. I don't think I would have wanted a baby in the share house I was in as it is quite restrictive for everyone in terms of noise (in terms of hearing the baby make noise and them having to restrict the noise they make). But if they are open to it then great! I think I'd do that rather than move a couple of hours away to my Dad.

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    Default Share House/Student House

    Also, cost wise won't renting two rooms be very expensive?

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    Default Share House/Student House

    If it were me I would want to be close to Uni to make finishing easier. I'm not sure about being in a share home though. People's lives change and you will always be worrying about whether someone is going to move out and you will have to find someone else.

    Also you can have really good friends, it doesn't mean they will cope with/ want to live with a newborn baby. Especially if they are studying.

    Are there any 1-2 bedroom units near your current place that you can rent?

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    Hi!

    Big decision for you to make. A baby in a share house could be great depending on the other people. I kind of live in a share house with my 2 children (my house and I have a flatmate who has a daughter). It works well for us but we had set up rules from the start. We (kids included) had a meeting and the kids decided on the rules. We (parents) added our own in. I think you need to be aware that in a share house you may feel overwhelmed by others advice or comments, it's difficult when baby is sleeping to expect others to be quiet esp. during the day, random visitors will want to hug/hold/prod your baby, if you have a colicky baby you may get stressed that he/she cries alot during the first 12 weeks or so possibly disturbing others etc. The good things are that sometimes you will have someone to hold your baby when you go for a wee/a shower etc, others might have knowledge that you need.

    Newborns for new mums can be hard. I don't think anyone can really get an understanding of being a new mum until you are one. If you have the expectation that people in your share house will share some of the load then you may need to think again. Yes they will support you in some ways but it's most likely that you will be at home with baby whilst they go out socialising.
    I'm in my 30's and sometimes when my flatmate heads out for the night I feel a twinge of envy!

    Not trying to be negative but maybe brainstorm and think about how this will work practically. How many bathrooms are there? Will you be annoyed when it's bath time and your flatmates are lined up for a shower and baby's routine is being stuffed up? Lots to think about but you will make the best choice for you and your child

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    Default Share House/Student House

    Thank you for the advice!
    Our rooms are all upstairs so if there's visitors they will be downstairs in the common room so if I don't want them near the bub I can just stay upstairs. The rooms are amazing, once the door is closed you can't hear anything so if I got two bedrooms ($250 a week which is pretty good considering location and how big the place is and it's good condition) I could negotiate having my current room and mates room so he'd go into the larger room of the housemate that's moving out and I'd have to worry less about bub screaming and annoying everyone.
    I definitely don't expect them to assist with bub, but having them around is amazing for my emotional side (even when they don't realise they're helping me lol). There's only one housemate who goes out with other mates who I don't hang with anyway. The other two housemates are gamers who prefer quiet drinks at home so much more my speed. I do understand the lack of social life thing, I've lived five years with gamers instead of living the pub party life so I don't mind .
    There's also two bathrooms (all separate so no waiting for a toilet when shower is in use sort of thing). The boys have their own bathroom, girls with our own and if the housemate who isn't sure if hell move out or not decides to stay, ill have a bathroom to myself

    I know there's still a lot to consider and I need to talk more with my housemates but being able to think of all the problems that could come up with you girls is super helpful

    Oh edit:
    I've had a look at a non-share house. They're considerably further from the uni (I'm already a 3km walk from it which I think is perfect but further could start being a problem) and they're a lot more expensive eg $300-$450 for a one bedroom unit smaller than what renting two rooms in my share house would give me. If I'm super lucky a more affordable and spacious home might come up but I'm not all that hopeful for it.
    Last edited by αληθη; 08-01-2013 at 05:59.

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    I think it could work. I've recently bought my first house (I'm also a single mum) and will have a big mortgage by the end of January, so I'm in the position where I have to have at least one flatmate in my own house to help cover the mortgage, even though I'll be working full time. As much as I'd really love to have the house all to myself, I am trying to think of the positives, such as a bit of extra security for me. I've lived on my own before and I did find it a bit lonely at times and I always thought, what if I was to pass out and nobody knew I was in trouble? With a flatmate it will feel a bit safer, so I try to think of that instead of the down side. Plus it will be nice to have someone to chat to after the kids have gone to bed.

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    Personally, i don't like the idea. I think it would be incredibly difficult always having to be mindful of others. You don't know what sort of baby you will have- What if it has reflux or colic and cries pretty much 24/7? Will your housemates be ok with it?
    I like to have my own space and even more so since having kids. What happens if you house mates change their minds? They might be all ok with it now but when the reality of living with a baby sinks in, will it still be?

    Are the rooms rented from a real estate? Will they approve a baby living in the house?

    I think the most ideal scenario would be to rent your own place in your desired location although i do relise is much easier said then done. It might be worth looking around? Last time i was looking at real estate there were a few granny flats and one bedroom units around Jesmond and Birmingham Gardens going for under $200 a week.


 

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