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  1. #11
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    Default Re: When your friends kid and yours just whinge constantly......

    Not to mention the fact that you never know if more is going on beneath the surface, my youngest has suspected sensory issues and struggles a lot in social situations and I am just so sick of people calling him a sook or high strung etc. So yup I have issues when it comes to things like this. Compassion and understanding go a long way.

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  3. #12
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    My sister has a step son (O) 3 months older than DS (2.5). You would consider my son a 'sook' when the two get together. They constantly fought when they first met, O loves to tackle and play rough, my DS doesnt. DS was always the one in tears.

    They get along a whole lot better now but now its sharing we are trying to work on. O seems to be fine when a child snatches something off him but my DS is not, so often O just snatches toys off DS and it ends in screaming.

    I think its about working together to teach both children. I have to teach my son to share and my sister and her husband are trying to teach O to ask before snatching or wait his turn. We both talk to the children when problems arise. It isnt just me consoling DS because he's 'sooking'.

  4. #13
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    I have been in the same situation as you and honestly, I found myself pulling away a bit from my friend. Her son constantly cries, hits, throws tantrums when things don't go his way. I tried encouraging my DD to share more (she's older and likes the idea of helping/looking after smaller kids), I tried buying the same toys for both so there wouldn't be the need to fight... but it was just all the time. My DD got to the point where she would walk off and that would cause more crying!

    It's mentally draining on DD and she was always shattered after a visit with this particular friend. It got to the point when I'd mention what we were doing she'd ask if we could stay home instead which isn't like her. I felt bad putting her through it for my sake so I now try and see my friend minus the kids.

    I know PP have said you don't know what's going on beneath the surface etc which is so true and I completly understand that... but when it's starting to upset my DD then I have to do what's best for her - which in our situation was limit contact.
    Last edited by Anjalee; 08-01-2013 at 12:04.

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  6. #14
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    Op I know the feeling. I dread hanging out with my friend due to her child. He can not play along side someone or whinge because my son looks at him wrong. No advice sorry just letting you know your not alone

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    How old are the kids?

    My good friend's boy and my boy are the same age. From when they were 3-4 they would also fight constantly when we got together. Each wanted what the other had. Kids are still learning about sharing at this time and the boys would test each other. They started 4yr kindy and each met new friends so they drifted apart for those first few months. They now are the best of friends, they are into the same things such as ben 10 and transformers and will play quietly and nicely together. When we go out my friend and I let them each take a few things and they happily share swapping their items now. It was obviously just a stage they went through.

  8. #16
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    Default Re: When your friends kid and yours just whinge constantly......

    My Ds is too young for me to have to worry about issues re socialising just yet. I agree with many previous posters that it is important to look beyond the surface of children's behaviour and to exercise empathy and compassion...however, I don't feel overly offended by OP's use of the word "sook". Even Mum's are human and need to vent occasionally.

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    peanutmonkey  (08-01-2013)

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    Default Re: When your friends kid and yours just whinge constantly......

    Quote Originally Posted by Albert01 View Post
    My Ds is too young for me to have to worry about issues re socialising just yet. I agree with many previous posters that it is important to look beyond the surface of children's behaviour and to exercise empathy and compassion...however, I don't feel overly offended by OP's use of the word "sook". Even Mum's are human and need to vent occasionally.

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    I agree that mums are human and need to vent, and I can understand that it must be a bit frustrating for the OP and i sympathise, trust me, a parent of a sensitive child is normally a lot more over it than others who are only exposed occasionally. but in my opinion name calling is never ok, especially when directed at a child. We are meant to be teaching our children not to call others names etc so I just personally think it's wrong to call a small child that.

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    Default When your friends kid and yours just whinge constantly......

    This puts a different perspective on it...

    http://www.janetlansbury.com/2009/11/the-s-word/

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  13. #19
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    Default When your friends kid and yours just whinge constantly......

    I have had the same situation, my really good friends DS is a month older than mine, they would play really well together until they hit about 20 months and her son ( I wouldn't say sook but definitely sensitive) would cry all the time if Elijah took a toy off him or tried wrestle him and sometimes I think DS does it to get a reaction!
    Now 6 months later they are just getting better and to be honest we just pretty much let them be ( unless one got too rough) and I'm sure in a few more months they will be best buddies!

  14. #20
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    that's a great article babylove


 

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