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    Default Under the same roof as the Ex anyone?

    Hi Im just looking for some help from mums that have made co-parenting work while under the same roof as the EX. ExDh walked out on me and our 3kids and went to stay with his family while I was getting ready to move closer to mine so I could get help with the kids while I finish uni and work. We have had some luck with our ASD son and he will be getting the help he needs now so we could make it work out this way now we have found some support. Ex is happy and thinks it would be best if we all could stay in the “family home” while I do my last year of uni and that way our son is not being moved around while he is transitioning back into full days at school. The house has the room for us to have our own parts so I guess I could make it work if I knewit was only going to be for a small amount of time (due to ex leaving me after I confronted him when I found out he was cheating I still find it hard to be around him) and the kids want to stay.

    Im just not sure how to work some things out like bills, and stuff I have car payments, day care,uin books, before and after school care our sons appointments are not cheap and are all monthly so I have a lot to pay on top of house payments now that we are apart child support is going to cover a good chunk of what I have to pay but if we are living together will I still get child support as he has never been willing to help out with money and do not think he would start now.

    So if you have been through this how did you work things outwhere there things that made it easy for you to get along or was it hard for you.

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    αληθη is offline BH name read as Aleethee
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    Default Under the same roof as the Ex anyone?

    I live with my ex, but I'm sure my situation is much different. Only time will heal the pain of him cheating and you will always have that wonder (ex cheated on me too).

    Re bills, you need to split them and work out a plan to pay them such as a weekly money jar or something. The money jar is great for grocery shopping but you both have to be honest and diligent with adding your money (ex and I are forgetful so we take turns buying groceries and some of the stuff we buy is just for ourselves which stops a lot of arguments over food). I do know of people in your situation who have made it work for the time they needed to.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to αληθη For This Useful Post:

    CURVY MAMA OF 3  (07-01-2013)

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    Thanks for that I was just starting to get back on my feet again with him out the house and now I feel like I am starting all over again. I do get that for us right now it will be the best thing for the kids and I just have to put my big girl pants on and work around the bad feelings I have for him right now but a big part of me wants to kick him where it hurts right now. I think the feelings of hate are jusr so raw right now and more so because of the age gap he is 31 and the other girl has just turned 18 it just makes me feel sick.

    I will start using money in a jar now I had never really thought of that I cant remember the last time I used cash for shopping Im a card user lol so this might save me some money if I only pull what I want to spend out I cant really go over it.

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    I think it could work I lived with my kids dad for awhile after we split but I paid everything then I moved out and paid my bills and all his. Make sure you dont get stuck in paying more than you should.

    I think the rent should be split 50/50 all bills should be split 50/50 and all the expenses for your child should be split 50/50 but I am fairly sure you can still get CS if you are apart but living together but think for now 50/50 is more fair because his CS prob wont pay 50% of all the living expenses. Another thing to look at is chores who will be responsible for what so one person isnt doing too much.

    I think you should make your car payments and he should make his if he has any unless he will be using the car too then he should help on that.

    I think it sounds like a good idea and hope you guys can make it work.

    ETA: just saw he has a new GF? If so I think that there needs to be discussion on what will happen if she wants to stay over. Its gonna be tricky with another involved.
    Last edited by Lovemyfam; 07-01-2013 at 19:23.

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    Thanks for the reply LMF I have always been paying my car so that wont change but will be doing 50/50 for house bills and we have talked about the kids, he will pay for the kids well half of what I pay and we will deal with child support when I or he moves out when ever that time comes. Will have to sit down with him and work out who cleans what so far its just I clean my area and he cleans his but we want to work out a cooking roster or something as I work nights and he works days and Im about to head back to uni we were just thinking I would do a big cook up at the start of the week and he would feed and bath the kids for me so that way he is not having to cook( he cant cook to save himself) and I can get ready for work and do some study in when he gets home.

    He cheated but is not with the girl he was her boss and it was just a fling but there will be no people of that kind in the house our son is really funny about people in his space so we cant just have people over and we both no this. we have two other kids but they are not on the spectrum so they have more understanding of what is going on.

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    Quote Originally Posted by CURVY MAMA OF 3 View Post
    Thanks for the reply LMF I have always been paying my car so that wont change but will be doing 50/50 for house bills and we have talked about the kids, he will pay for the kids well half of what I pay and we will deal with child support when I or he moves out when ever that time comes. Will have to sit down with him and work out who cleans what so far its just I clean my area and he cleans his but we want to work out a cooking roster or something as I work nights and he works days and Im about to head back to uni we were just thinking I would do a big cook up at the start of the week and he would feed and bath the kids for me so that way he is not having to cook( he cant cook to save himself) and I can get ready for work and do some study in when he gets home.

    He cheated but is not with the girl he was her boss and it was just a fling but there will be no people of that kind in the house our son is really funny about people in his space so we cant just have people over and we both no this. we have two other kids but they are not on the spectrum so they have more understanding of what is going on.
    Seems you guys are on the right track, a big cook up sounds like a great plan too it would be really easy to just have to reheat would save so much time. I hope it all goes smoothly and its great you two are on the same page with the children.


 

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