I have an issue I really need to get out off my chest.
My weight over the last few years has yoyo'd quite significantly. Before DD was conceived (late 2009) I got from 98kg to roughly 75kg. When I gave birth I was 90kg and after her birth I got to 86kg. I stayed there for a few months. When she was about 3 months old I decided to try Duromine. Given I have ADD, and Duromine is similar I the drugs to "control" ADD I got no nasty side effects and got down to about 72kg. I was happy, I enjoyed my body, I felt comfortable. Then I got part time work at McDonalds, and over about 6 months I put back on everything I lost.
We then moved and I continued to put on until I was about 90kg. I managed to get to roughly 85kg by walking, and drinking lots of water.
Then I left the ex. I got up to 96kg. I have Compulsive Overeating Disorder, which is much harder to control when I am emotional. I then joined a gym, which changed everything. I was eating very little (shakes for breaky and lunch and small meals for dinner with lots of water). In a 1 month and 20 days I lost 10.6kg, and 28cm. My body looked amazing, and I was happy. Then my body gave in on me, and I had to take some time off. I started getting injuries and decided to take 2 weeks off. It was then I started exams and I just couldn't find the time to get back. Then I started working, and moved out, and had dramas with that.
I've now made it back up to 93kg. And I couldn't be more depressed.
I didn't even shower since Wednesday until this morning. When I don't have DD I barely move off the couch. I have no motivation, I don't want to leave the house. I hate even speaking on the phone unless it's to DP (who is the most supportive person I could ever hope to know).
I just need some tips on how to get my motivation back... I do suffer from depression and anxiety but when I lose my weight (every time) it's always been ok, and manageable. Also medication (I'd tried several kinds) doesn't help at all.
Thanks ladies xx
ETA- Another thing grating on me is the fact that my other half lives interstate, and I've put on 10kg since he last came here to visit me (probably 5 since the last time I saw him) so, even though he adores me (he waited over 7 years to have me - we've been good friends for a long time) and he says he doesn't care, and wants to spend his life with me, and have kids with me etc, I don't want him to see me and be like "Oh, wow. Yeah she wasn't lying about putting on weight". I don't want him to be disappointed when he sees me.