Hi Ally, I can't 'log off' from your story, either. Many mornings of late I have thought of you first thing, when I look out the window to the garden, and I hope you soon will feel the sunshine come back into your life. Can you plant a tree in your garden, or keep a rose in a pot for Angus? As it grows it is a lovely way to remember those departed, and remind others by having an inscrib rock or some butterflies in the tree and a few little statues around it. love the little place you have made for Angus. I hope it reminds your visitors of him, and shows you he is still around and in your world. I hope you can regain your strength soon, we are all here for you. Please try to do some nice things fir yourself - get a massage, go for a walk, take a break for a few days, get some essential oils to sniff and some smelly candles. Draw or paint if you can, and get into the garden if you have one. Nurture your soul as well as doing things to keep Angus' s memory strong. Thinking of you, xM.