I am not sure if this is something that you have already heard of,but when my friend's son passed away she had his ashes put into a teddy bear so that she and her family have something to cuddle whenever they want to.
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I am exactly the same! I never want to forget my boys and I don't want others too either. I feel they came to me for a reason and I should honor their memory.
For 5 years people would ask 'do you have kids?' And I'd reply 'yes but they were born sleeping' now it's 'is this your 1st?' Me: 'No its my 3rd pregnancy but hopefully my 1st earth bound baby'
People feel awkward and don't know how to talk to me when I openly respond in this way because they aren't used to it. Loss is always hidden away. I don't know why...
I have never felt bad for making others uncomfortable with my openness. My boys are apart of me and people accept that now and don't pity me anymore, they see how strong they made me.
I know constant reminders and talking about loss isn't the right way for everyone to heal. I don't judge others who chose to keep things hidden. Everyone has to cope the best they can and do what's right for them.
Do what makes you happy or keeps you at peace (and those choices may change over the years), remember angus how ever you want. He is your family now and always, that will never change.
Thinking of you and your family Ally. Xxx congratulations on the birth of your beautiful little angel Angus.
In time you will be able to talk about him without crying. For now, your tears are justified, its all so raw. so don't worry about other people.
When those questions are asked, Just answer short but clear 'yes i have a child or no, this is my 2nd... My son was born sleeping'.
It gives him the recognition he deserves without delving too much. If people ask more questions then just answer with what you feel comfortable with.
Most people react a bit shocked then just say 'oh, I'm so sorry'.
I always reply 'everything happens for a reason and they made me a stronger person'. helps the awkwardness...
We will ever forgetting him and his legacy is evidenced by this thread and the huge number of lives his life touched. Sending you big hugs Ally xoxo
Busy Baking my rainbow, due July 2013
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