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  1. #11
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    Default Partner that does not help..

    Quote Originally Posted by btmac View Post
    Hey - I hate to agree with pp's but the reality is it will be worse once bub comes. My DH is the same. He did not help when home while I was pregnant (he works away) and refused to allow me to get a cleaner in. Now he is home for a few months and bub is 10 weeks. I am exhausted and still slogging it out with all the housework, cooking and bub. Worse I go back to work part time in 2 weeks and know things still will not change. Go to your mums house take some time to rest and recoup. Think seriously about your future. Yes it is a big decision to leave a relationship while pregnant but trust me it is even harder to leave once bub is born. Hugs and take care I yourself!!
    Refused to allow you to get a cleaner! Do it anyway! If you're going back part time to work then organise it before you start.

  2. #12
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    Default Partner that does not help..

    Quote Originally Posted by duckduckgoose View Post
    Honestly? I don't think he will ever change. Not significantly or for more than a day or two. I would look at your options, which are either put up with it or leave him.
    Yep I agree. It will be worse when you have a baby. I'm always surprised people stay when they are with someone who clearly has no respect for them.

    If you do stay make him hire a cleaner and gardener. But honestly it will not get better, if you stay it will be harder to leave when you have a baby.
    Last edited by waterlily; 06-01-2013 at 07:25.

  3. #13
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    Default Re: Partner that does not help..

    Quote Originally Posted by Solly86 View Post
    We both also work full time but according to him apparently because I work in a office that means I don't work hard and I shouldn't be as tired as he is.
    My dh has pulled this line on me a few times ! Its so frustrating!

    Op I really hope things get better. I like the suggestion of getting him to pay for a cleaner if he can't be bothered to help. He really needs to pull his finger out and take care of the yard though, if he wants to be stereotypical of roles that's definitely his job!

    Go to your mums, rest for a few days, let him fend for himself. Let him know how upset you are and how serious you are about needing his help. Good luck

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  4. #14
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    Default Re: Partner that does not help..

    Quote Originally Posted by mum2mj View Post
    If he's like this now it's not going to change after bubs is born.
    Agreed. Its going to be much harder for you once bubs is here so u need to sort this out with him now. All the best

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  5. #15
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    Default Partner that does not help..

    Has he always been a lazy sod? Was it a planned pregnancy?

  6. #16
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    Default Partner that does not help..

    I think going to stay with your mum would be a good idea. Maybe threaten to leave?
    I'm not saying actually do it, but he might need a shock?
    If you could stay away from him for a while it might do the trick.
    So sorry you are going though this, pregnancy can be hard enough without getting any help

  7. #17
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    Default Re: Partner that does not help..

    Can you relax the housework etc for now, just cook for yourself, do your own washing etc don't do anything for him. Just do the bare minimum until he wakes up to himself.

    Though I'd be concerned about things getting worse when you are at home all day if he already doesn't respect that you work full time will he be any more considerate when you are caring for an infant 24/7?

    Have you talked to him about the toll on you and also that he's being a selfish inconsiderate git?

    I agree though if you can get away for a few days or so.

    Sorry you're in this situation

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  8. #18
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    Default Partner that does not help..

    Sorry to barge in on this discussion but I'm 28 weeks pregnant and single. I've bought all my baby goods, including car seat, pram, formula, bath station, change station etc and have had to carry them into my apartment by myself. I do all my grocery shopping, clean and vacume, do my own cooking, cleaning and washing and I think I'm doing fine

    Why stay with someone who is extra baggage when you've got a precious bub on its way who will most definitely take priority over everything? Be strong, clear your mind and really think about what's best for you and for bub

    All the best.

  9. #19
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    Default Partner that does not help..

    Quote Originally Posted by Rosie Bb View Post
    Sorry to barge in on this discussion but I'm 28 weeks pregnant and single. I've bought all my baby goods, including car seat, pram, formula, bath station, change station etc and have had to carry them into my apartment by myself. I do all my grocery shopping, clean and vacume, do my own cooking, cleaning and washing and I think I'm doing fine

    Why stay with someone who is extra baggage when you've got a precious bub on its way who will most definitely take priority over everything? Be strong, clear your mind and really think about what's best for you and for bub

    All the best.
    Completely agree, for the first 2 years of dd1 life I did it on my own until I met my now dp who treats her as his own as the Sperm donor is not interested! Take some time away and have a good think about things!

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rosie Bb View Post
    Sorry to barge in on this discussion but I'm 28 weeks pregnant and single. I've bought all my baby goods, including car seat, pram, formula, bath station, change station etc and have had to carry them into my apartment by myself. I do all my grocery shopping, clean and vacume, do my own cooking, cleaning and washing and I think I'm doing fine <img src="images/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Smile" smilieid="1" class="inlineimg"

    Why stay with someone who is extra baggage when you've got a precious bub on its way who will most definitely take priority over everything? Be strong, clear your mind and really think about what's best for you and for bub <img src="images/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Smile" smilieid="1" class="inlineimg"

    All the best.
    I think the OP could easily look after herself but she is also looking after a big baby AKA husband. So she is not only picking up after herself but after him too ! I think that's probably the frustration .

    OP go to your mums for a week , let him live in his own filth . If the house is a vile mess on your return turn around and go back to your mums.

    Show him this thread also .

    This is a time you need to pull together as a couple it's not a good idea to be so stressed and so unhappy at this stage . He needs to step up and support you . Something amazing is about to happen to you and it would be awesome to start the life of this child with happy parents .

    Good luck OP .


 

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