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  1. #1
    αληθη's Avatar
    αληθη is offline BH name read as Aleethee
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    Default Terrified

    Of labour. I've been considering asking my ob about a c section for many reasons, but if I conquer my fears of labour then it might help me to have a natural labour (other reasons might stop it but always good to try right?)
    Please help me. I'm not scared of the pain, I'm scared of all the things that can go wrong.

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    SpecialPatrolGroup is offline T-rex is cranky until she gets her coffee.
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    A lot of people on here have used Calm birth to help them past their fears.

    I read Birth Skills by Juju Sundin which gave some really great skills for focusing and centring yourself. But I didn't have a particular fear of labour.

    Are you seeing an OB or middie? Perhaps talk to your midwife about your fears. I know that my antenatal class at the hospital was very informative.
    Also, be sure that you feel good about the people who are caring for you in labour, and that your support person is on the same page as you and is strong enough to be your advocate.
    Knowledge is power.

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    Default Terrified

    This is my first pregnancy so I can't give any insight into what labour is like. But I always used to think a c-section was an easy option, but then after watching a c-section video and seeing my sister's long recovery (pain when coughing, couldn't pick up her kids for weeks without help, couldn't drive for 6 weeks), I'm really hoping that I can deliver naturally rather than a c-section.
    Maybe talk to a few people who have had both and just become informed. I find it helpful to think of it like this - the labour / delivery is 1-2 days at most, compared to a lifetime with your little one. After a few months, it's not going to matter how your baby came into the world, just that he or she is in your world :-)

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    Default Terrified

    In all reality whether its a natural birth in hospital or a c-section, things can still go wrong either way. However, it is important to remember that you are pregnant, not sick. It is not a medical condition, it is a natural state. You have the assistance of high tech machines and technology should you need it. I second pp's advice regarding a calm birth course. I did one, and although I didn't get much out of it, I wasn't scared to begin with. I think it is an invaluable course for someone that is frightened. Best of luck OP

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    Default Terrified

    I agree with SPG on reading birth skills by Juju Sundin, I felt really unprepared for birth and a bit scared until i read it, after reading it I felt more informed and in charge it made a big difference for me

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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    harvs's Avatar
    harvs is offline Winner 2014 - Spirit of BubHub Award
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    Default Terrified

    I was terrified too, to the point where I didn't really face my fear and go to birthing classes or anything. I had to depend totally on the midwives when I had my natural birth. I was induced after my waters broke due to GD, then went straight into back-to-back contractions and delivered without pain relief as the anaesthetist was unavailable until it was too late! I also retained the placenta (very very unlikely) and haemorrhaged heavily, which meant I had to go into the theatre under general and also had multiple blood transfusions. I still got to go home before the woman in my room who had had a c-section. She was in so much pain compared to me.

    I'm not telling you this to scare you, but to say that at every step of the way I felt supported and secure - the midwives knew how terrified I was and always made sure I knew what was happening to me. I agree with other posters - tell the hospital and your support person how you feel, and they should go out of their way to help you feel okay.

    I don't know if this helps, but there was one thought that helped me heaps during labour: our bodies are MADE for this. Women have been doing this for thousands of years in caves, in fields, at home, etc. Trust your body first, then remember that although sometimes things may go wrong, we are living in a time when intervention is possible and we are almost guaranteed to be ok.

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    Eko's Avatar
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    My only advice is to go with what your gut tells you. I didn't when my DS was born and I really wish I had.
    I'm much more relaxed about having this baby because I will be having the birth that I want. It might be imagined control, but even imagined control can change how you react to a situation .

    I know what you mean though. I was so terrified of labour the first time that when most women are saying "I'm over it, I want this baby out" I was happy to say to anyone that would listen that I hoped he would NEVER come out so that I wouldn't have to go through labour!

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    Quote Originally Posted by αληθη View Post
    Of labour. I've been considering asking my ob about a c section for many reasons, but if I conquer my fears of labour then it might help me to have a natural labour (other reasons might stop it but always good to try right?)
    Please help me. I'm not scared of the pain, I'm scared of all the things that can go wrong.
    You poor thing! what an awful, isolated, uncomfortable position to be in! I'd say it's perfectly natural to have fears to some degree, and some of the things women are mentioning certainly will not do you any harm- in fact you'll probably feel much better.

    Counselling would help, doing calm birthing....in fact, I'd say for you perhaps sharing with another person and getting feedback may be the way to go- perhaps a group calm birthing class of some sort, even outright hypnotherapy? Imagine having someone giving you the suggestion that giving birth is the most wonderful experience in your life and you actually 100% believing it. It is possible

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    Best advice I can give you - keep reading everything you can get your hands on. Stories, anecdotes, books. I felt as you did before my first, and totally saturated my brain with as much information and as many perspectives as I could. I recommend Birth Skills by Juju Sunden, Birthing from Within by Pam England, and if you're really feeling overwhelmed, Gentle Birth Gentle Mothering by Dr Sarah Buckley (mainly for the labour and birth bit).

    Knowledge and information are empowering. When it starts, your active mind will shut off, and your body will do what it was meant to do. It has a job to do, and you will simply do it. That's what happened to me. I recalled a few things I had read, and tried them. But in the end, all the fear and anticipation was in the months leading up. Once it got going, mentally I was fine because working hard is what I do best


 

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