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  1. #61
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    Default Partner in Custody.

    Quote Originally Posted by CMF View Post
    I hope one of the scenarios you are playing out in your head is cutting your losses and saying goodbye to this guy. Surely these charges must be pretty serious for him to be extradited, and for him not to tell you what they are! That's IF he is found to be guilty anyway.
    4 months isn't a long time, he could have all kinds of secrets lurking, I mean if you has done a terrible law breaking thing you'd probably not want to scare off a new partner by divulging that info.
    And 4 months is still so new so.... if you need to cut your losses then at least it hasn't been long term with kids heavily attached etc.

    Sorry I know that's blunt, but true.
    This and if not your there for moral support! I know if my partner went to court I would be following him (depending on charges lol)!

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    Default Partner in Custody.

    I think you really need to find out the charges OP. you need to know where you stand and start planning the future from this. The fact he wont tell you and other states are trying to get hom back, its serious.

  3. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by HugsBunny View Post
    I would be going to court to hear the charges. If my son had been arrested and I didn't know why, I would be going to court to hear the charges.

    From what you've said op, if you were to just wait for the word you'll be waiting a long time seeing as how DP won't tell you the charges, his mum isn't going and you're not going to court
    Quote Originally Posted by wantmore View Post
    Sorry but this makes it sound like his mum already knows the chargers and didn't want you to know what they are.
    If I was you I would be going and hearing it for yourself a also if he has gotten legal rep you might be able to talk to them
    Agree with both of these. I think his mum knows exactly what the charges are, or at least what is going on Has she tried to talk you out of going today?

    Personally I would go, you have a right to know. I also agree with others that say 4 months is easy to put on a front. It's a very short space of time.

  4. #64
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    Go.
    Find out
    Knowledge is power.

    All the best.

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  6. #65
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    LifeInShadesOfGrey is offline Just a little bit silly :)
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    Default Partner in Custody.

    Quote Originally Posted by wantmore View Post
    Sorry but this makes it sound like his mum already knows the chargers and didn't want you to know what they are.
    If I was you I would be going and hearing it for yourself a also if he has gotten legal rep you might be able to talk to them
    I agree

  7. #66
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    Default Partner in Custody.

    Wow I'd be wanting answers so I would be going to. Better to know the truth than not. You're only going to keep worrying and thinking bad case scenarios.
    Good luck!

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    Default Re: Partner in Custody.

    Quote Originally Posted by PurpleButterfly4 View Post
    Wow I'd be wanting answers so I would be going to. Better to know the truth than not. You're only going to keep worrying and thinking bad case scenarios.
    Good luck!
    Exactly! The longer you don't know, the longer it's all going to play on your mind.
    If i was in that situation i would just want to know exactly what i was dealing with.

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using BubHub

  9. #68
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    Witwicky is offline A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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    Default Partner in Custody.

    I'm not going to speculate about whether his Mum knows the charges or what the charges might actually be.

    However, I will say this: go to court for YOURSELF. This is your life. You need to take control of it and find out what is happening instead of being run through the ringer. I think it would be foolish not to.

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  11. #69
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    I just wanted to say that I had an ex years ago that was arrested and charged with theft of firearms along with several other things. He and his brother both got done for it.
    He was (so I thought) a lovely guy. He was kind, we rarely argued and I'd been with him for 5 years. We had our issues but nothing that would have made me suspect that kind of activity. He'd been going to court and dealing with lawyers etc. all behind my back for a few months before I found out what was going on and the only reason I DID find out was that his brother accidentally let slip.
    If they don't want you to know and actively try to hide it, it's generally because it's bad.

    My point is that 4 months is not long enough to know someone if 5 years isn't either. You can never tell what someone is hiding and I had every reason to suspect his behaviour because he'd been up to some other shifty stuff around the same time (although that all related to cheating/relationship issues). I was watching his EVERY move and I didn't see anything to make me suspect his involvement with those illegal activities.

    Go to court. Find out what you can. Because the fact of the matter is that burying your head in the sand even for a short while won't change who he really is or what he's done.
    I know that sounds a bit harsh but I really want you to have the chance to come through whatever has happened in a better shape than I did with my ex . I thought that my ex was the man I would marry and have a family with. How could I possibly marry someone that hid criminal charges, court cases, and warrants for arrest from me for about 6 months?

  12. #70
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    Default Partner in Custody.

    I'm so sorry you are in this predicament, but I'm thinking along the lines of everyone else. It seems strange his own mother doesn't want to find out the charges?

    I do hope it's some sort of misunderstanding, but for your own sake and piece of mind go to the hearing, find out what the charges are and decide if it's something you can live with if you had to and find out what this persons past is.

    I hope he is innocent.


 
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