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  1. #121
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    OP, I am truly sorry you are in this situation. It would be a massive shock and there would be a lot of emotions to deal with, so I can totally understand that it would take some time to get your head around. IMO you are doing completely the right thing by looking after yourself and your DD's needs first. Yes of course you need to know what your dp is charged with but you're also right that waiting another day to find out wont make any difference, and having that extra time to (at least partly) get over the shock might even be a good thing as it will let you respond more objectively. The transcript is an excellent idea because it will spell it out in black and white.

    You sound as though you are fully aware of all the possibilities here and are prepared to make the hard decisions to keep yourself and your daughter safe - that doesn't take away the pain of it though or mean you can't grieve for how things might have been.

    Although hopefully it is an error and will all work out ok

    Just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you and sending you best wishes and I hope it gets sorted out quickly for you one way or another.

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  3. #122
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    Default Partner in Custody.

    Was he unable to tell you or his mum what the charges are (like not allowed to discuss it in phone calls) or did he refuse to answer when you asked him what the charges are? I suppose I'm wondering whether he is being evasive or is he just as baffled as you must be. What an awful situation.

  4. #123
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lumi View Post
    You have known him 4 months and you say your in love, that he is kind, gentle etc... How do you think some criminals like Pedophiles or frauds work?! They gain trust off others, people usually do fall in love with them, they manipulate, crawl their way into people's lives and do what they do best.. I'm sorry but a driving offense that you didn't know about or forgot to pay, that is understandable.
    But being extradited?!? That's extreme, I would be totally shocked if there was a mix up.

    If my husband was extradited I wouldn't be able to wait to know what the hell he has done or is being accused of doing.
    I would NEED to know what risk I possibly put my self and my family in.

    Please correct me if I'm wrong, but someone can only be extradited in Australia if they face a crime that brings more than a 2 year sentence?
    It's a very well planned act, lots of money involved, legal work, a person doesn't just get extradited.. It's a last resort for authorities.. For crimes much more bigger than little stuff ups.
    He had to know and he was most likely hiding it from you, how does someone not know they are wanted in another state for a crime holding a minimum 2 year sentence? He could have fled to a new state AFTER his first court hearing. Did you ever ask him why he moved interstate?

    I would be asking myself what the hell could he have hidden from me that holds at least a 2 year sentence?!?!
    I would have gone to court, if something huge stopped me from going I would be ringing up for transcripts ASAP.
    Has bail been set?
    To be going to a hearing on a Saturday and being in court again on Monday is pretty serious.

    If I found out my husband was accused of crimes that could involve
    Pedophilia, Murder, Fraud, bank fraud, Rape, Assault, robbery, Kidnapping, criminal use of fire arms, drugs and Terrorism just to name a few I would be wanting to know every detail, I would be wanting to know what kind of person my family has been around.

    How don't you know that once you find out what his charge(s) are you have a lightbulb moment and remember some of his actions that you were previously oblivious too fit in with the crime he is up against?
    You could help in this if you suddenly realize that yes he did show signs of being involved in X,Y,Z.
    Put your love for him aside for a second and just think what if this crime involved another person that he has done something unforgivable to?
    Think of women in DV relationships, I have never known one to say "He was abusive from the moment we met" most have no idea who the person they fell in love with is really like until time goes by and true colors show, 4 months is not enough time to say you 100% know him, truth is you didn't know him.. Otherwise you wouldn't be shocked by all this.

    Yes people make mistakes, but if I was with a man who was once/is capable of any those things I'm sorry but I would learn not to love him, and walk away... Far away.

    You could be at risk, your daughter could be at risk.
    I think you are being a bit harsh and over the top.

    I had a warrant for 7 years I didn't know about, it was for DV which I had never done it was a mistake and I was arrested and held in jail it happens. Could have happened here lets just all lay of the judging and assumptions it will be better for the OP to not have her head filled with worries.

  5. #124
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    Oh dear.

    Op is very much aware that this isn't just a overdue speeding fine situation! I don't see how going 'I would do this' 'What if xyz' 'Think about your daughter!' is helping.

    Op has come on here to go on no, please help give advice. Granted many of us have (fortunately) never been in this situation but does that give you automatic right to go into attack mode?

    OP, the transcripts sound like a great idea. Once you know the details you will know which way to proceed. Big hugs. Focus on chilling out and also your daughter coming home.

  6. #125
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    I think you are being a bit harsh and over the top.

    I had a warrant for 7 years I didn't know about, it was for DV which I had never done it was a mistake and I was arrested and held in jail it happens. Could have happened here lets just all lay of the judging and assumptions it will be better for the OP to not have her head filled with worries.
    Huge difference between laws in USA to here!

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  8. #126
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    Huge difference between laws in USA to here!
    It was an example of sometimes mistakes are made by law enforcement.

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  10. #127
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    Default Partner in Custody.

    Also, don't think his record from another state is visible to police or courts in current state

  11. #128
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    Default Partner in Custody.

    Exactly this. Well said. OP asked for advice from anyone who had been in this situation and support. Not judgement and harsh comments. How does that help anyone??

    Hugs for u and I hope you find out everything u need to know on Monday to make the decision that's right for you.

  12. #129
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    It was an example of sometimes mistakes are made by law enforcement.
    Well I wouldn't be just brushing it off in the name of love because mistakes have been made, I would be doing everything in my power to find out what happened immediately!

  13. #130
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    OP I think it's a terrible thing you are going through and I truly hope you get some answers soon. Personally I would have gone to the court hearing this morning, I wouldn't be able to sleep until I knew what it was all about but I'm like that, each of us react in a very different way. Do what you feel best protects you and your childs wellbeing, only you know what that is. Just be aware that I think getting court transcripts can take some time as well so it may still not be a quick way of getting answers (I may be wrong, someone else may know better).


 

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