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  1. #1
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    Default DD holding in wee - pls help!

    She wont go on the toilet ive even pulled the potty out. Today is day 3 of tt and she did a wee on the toilet yesterday but is refusing today. She has been going on the toilet all morning saying "poo poo" but wont do anything?

    She clearly needs to go she wont stop moving and is holding herself.

    What do i do? put a nappy on her? Is she maybe not ready? She waited till i put a night nappy on her last night to poo after not pooing for 2 days.

    eta - as i was typing this i directed her to use her potty again and she she said nooo and picked it up and threw it then went and sat on her kids couch and done a wee. She got upset about it too.

    Help!

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    Last edited by SoThisIsLove; 02-01-2013 at 10:00.

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    how old is dd? If she doesn't need to be tt for kinder ASAP I would not force the issue as it will just test your sanity. Instead, why don't you give her "options" and let her choose if she wants to do wee wee and poo in the potty like a big girl or she can wear nappies. Ps. We are tt but she still wears nappies as it's not really any diff for us having to help with a nappy or a pull up and its better on the bank balance!!! Good luck, but do what you think is right for you and not just what you think is expected of you and dd!!!

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    SoThisIsLove  (02-01-2013)

  4. #3
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    Default Re: DD holding in wee - pls help!

    Thanks for the advice. Shes 26 months and no theres no rush.

    Im stressing a bit that shes holding it in when she needs to go.

    Not sure what to do now.

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    Last edited by SoThisIsLove; 02-01-2013 at 10:24.

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    Default Re: DD holding in wee - pls help!

    Anyone else have tips / advice thats dealt with something similar?

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    Default DD holding in wee - pls help!

    She's not ready. Leave it be or you'll cause dramas later on. Constant holders get constipation and uti's. Revisit it in 6 months

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    Thank you for your response marepoppin

    There alot of conflicting info online about this.

    Maybe ive been too anxious and too excessive with reminding her to go cause i was worried about her not weeing?

    She seemed a little uncomftable sitting on the hard training seat so maybe a soft padded seat would make her more comftable with sitting on the toilet?

    Or maybe we just put the nappies back on and see how she reacts. See If she tries to take it off and go to the toilet.

    So confusing. Maybe we should just take a break and come back to it in a few weeks even and try again?

  9. #7
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    My DD did this too, but she was quite a bit older than yours, probably about 33 months. Problem was she didn't want nappies but then refused to use the toilet!. I was beside myself because she would hold on for 24 hours at a time and I was worried that she was going to get sick or cause long term problems (behavioural issues I'm good with, psychological ones, not so much!).

    Anyway this may not help because your DD is a lot younger (and if I were you I'd probably give her the option of a nappy or potty as another pp said, then just put her back in nappies for a while and try again with a clean slate in a few months) but the things that helped me were:

    I bought a special Dora potty (big Dora fan!)
    I bought some special lalaloopsy and Dora knickers
    I gave no reaction at all if she had an accident on the floor
    But mainly I bribed her I bought a Dora doll that she really wanted and put it on the fridge where she could see it and told her she could have it when she did a wee and a poo in the toilet or potty.i also bought some little presents and wrapped them up and gave her one each time she used the potty.

    It did take a while, she seemed to have a genuine fear of the toilet and I was really scared of doing something unwittingly that would make it worse. First step I did was just to try and get her comfortable on the potty - at first she would just sit for a second and I would do a big song and dance routine about how clever she was, then I got her to sit a bit longer reading stories or singing songs etc (and if I'm totally honest smarties also helped). After a couple of weeks she would sit on the potty but not do anything then wee on the floor five minutes later grrrr. I think this was where I brought the Dora doll in, and I also started really filling her full of fluids so she couldn't hold on as long

    It felt like forever but it probably was only about six weeks before it just clicked and she started using the potty. At that time she decided that she wouldn't wear nappies to bed either and touch wood she has never had an accident. It did take another few months before she would use the toilet, but she was happy to use the toilet at other people's places so I figured she'd eventually get over her fear of ours. I bought a ladder with a toilet seat attached that had handles for her to hold onto,l thinking she would feel safer, and she wouldn't have a bar of it. Then one day out of the blue she informed me she was going to use the big girl toilet and that was that.

    I have to say too that her kindy teacher was just fantastic. The first time she put dd on the toilet dd was crying and carrying on but the teacher was very kind and calm and reassuring. I left thinking oh this is going to be a disaster, but apparently dd did sit on the toilet again that day (without doing anything) and the following day when I picked her up I was told shed done a wee and a poo!. The teacher made her a little star necklace and put stickers on it every time dd used the toilet and she was so proud of herself. For a while there I considered sending her to daycare every day because at least shed go there even if she wouldn't at home!.

    Your dd is very young though and you've got time if you want to give it a rest for a while. Good luck - it's very stressful when they start holding on, but I really believe that they will do it in their own time when they are ready.....and if they need a gentle push I can recommend bribery

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    Default Re: DD holding in wee - pls help!

    Thank you! I started on the bribery today lol. Isnt it funny all those things you say "ill never do that" as a parent but you do! Baha!

    Well in the end she done 3 big wees today. The first of course was on her couch but the second two this arvo were both on the toilet floor while i was on the loo myself and she was watching. I know right, timing! She said to me "poos poos" then did a wee and i wasnt quick enough to finish up and get off the loo myself So maybe it was just a bad morning. I was pretty stressed today ( other reasons also).

    Ill continue to monitor how she goes over the next couple of days and keep a close eye but casual approach.

    Interestingly, since we started tt she has had dry nappies after every one of her afternoon naps and this morning her overnight nappy only had a little wee in it. Usually its pretty saturated. They are good signs arent they?

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    Yes dry nappies are definitely a good sign - they usually indicate that the child is physically ready for tt.

    Yippee for the three big wees!. At one stage I was so stressed by the holding on that she flooded the carpet and all I felt was relief that she had gone so even though your dd has missed the toilet I'd still be happy with that!.

    Postscript on the bribery - I thought I had done really well phasing it out completely and toileting has just been routine for a few months now, then out of the blue yesterday dd was on the toilet doing a wee and she looks at me and says 'if I do a poo as well I get two smarties right?'.......erm nice try kiddo but no. I don't even have any smarties in the house!

  12. #10
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    Default Re: DD holding in wee - pls help!

    Thanks ur post was reassuring. My motherly instincts were telling me she was ready. Will see!

    haha they dont forget easily do they? I think 2 smarties is fair payment We dont give dd choc or lollies as yet so i was thinking 2 sultanas as a bribe hahah. Yesterday it was biscuits

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