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  1. #21
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    I really don't tolerate people that smoke in my presence, but I must say it's a bit hard with close friends. Although most are considerate and smoke outside and away from me or downwind etc. But some occasions it does bother me depending on who it is I may say something or just move.

    My conundrum is: What do you do when people come to visit you at hospital or at home when you have your newborn and they are smokers? I am currently 34 weeks pregnant and I think about this. I have a couple friends in particular that smoke that may visit me (when i'm ready) and I am concerned for the 2nd hand smoke that they may give myself or my new born. I don't think washing hands is enough, it's in their skin and clothes.
    Yes I used to smoke, socially mostly as soon as I got pregnant I choose to quit, for good, and my husband has since quit also..... Which I am very happy about now we can lead a healthier life. I just not sure how you tell people diplomatically not to touch your baby if they have recently smoked?????
    I am hoping that smoking becomes NIL in my group of family and friends then it would only be strangers that I would have to deal with which is much easier.

  2. #22
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    I really don't tolerate people that smoke in my presence, but I must say it's a bit hard with close friends. Although most are considerate and smoke outside and away from me or downwind etc. But some occasions it does bother me depending on who it is I may say something or just move.

    My conundrum is: What do you do when people come to visit you at hospital or at home when you have your newborn and they are smokers? I am currently 34 weeks pregnant and I think about this. I have a couple friends in particular that smoke that may visit me (when i'm ready) and I am concerned for the 2nd hand smoke that they may give myself or my new born. I don't think washing hands is enough, it's in their skin and clothes.
    Yes I used to smoke, socially mostly as soon as I got pregnant I choose to quit, for good, and my husband has since quit also..... Which I am very happy about now we can lead a healthier life. I just not sure how you tell people diplomatically not to touch your baby if they have recently smoked?????
    I am hoping that smoking becomes NIL in my group of family and friends then it would only be strangers that I would have to deal with which is much easier.

  3. #23
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    Default NYE- stuck with smokers!

    I move away from it , unless I was in my own house and could ask them to stop

  4. #24
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    Default NYE- stuck with smokers!

    Quote Originally Posted by AceAri8 View Post
    I really don't tolerate people that smoke in my presence, but I must say it's a bit hard with close friends. Although most are considerate and smoke outside and away from me or downwind etc. But some occasions it does bother me depending on who it is I may say something or just move.

    My conundrum is: What do you do when people come to visit you at hospital or at home when you have your newborn and they are smokers? I am currently 34 weeks pregnant and I think about this. I have a couple friends in particular that smoke that may visit me (when i'm ready) and I am concerned for the 2nd hand smoke that they may give myself or my new born. I don't think washing hands is enough, it's in their skin and clothes.
    Yes I used to smoke, socially mostly as soon as I got pregnant I choose to quit, for good, and my husband has since quit also..... Which I am very happy about now we can lead a healthier life. I just not sure how you tell people diplomatically not to touch your baby if they have recently smoked?????
    I am hoping that smoking becomes NIL in my group of family and friends then it would only be strangers that I would have to deal with which is much easier.
    I understand this fear. My friend gave birth in August last year and she had this issue. Some of her friends come and visit who have just had a smoke before arriving and they say to her "oh before I hold her ill wash my hands" she tells them they are still not holding her as washing hands does nothing. She's outspoken she she'll tell ppl like it is. One friend came over who smelt so badly of smoke and she just said she was sleeping and didn't want to unsettle her out of her arms.

    I used to smoke, socially. But I was always considerate about where and never around pregnant women or children. I would never ask to hold a child if I had been. I knew the dangers. I think some ppl just don't understand the dangers. They think their the ones smoking so only they are inhaling the bad stuff

  5. #25
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    I honestly havent experienced anything like you did OP in a long long long time. Even before smoking was banned in undercover areas etc my friends that smoked always went right outside and away from the group. If we were at anyone's house they wouldnt smoke where everyone was hanging out, usually they would go out the front of the house.

    I have one friend who smokes now and if he comes over he goes out the front and away from the house.

    DH and I just commented the other day that our kids would be very very unlikely to even know what a cigarette was because we just dont see smokers any more, which is a great thing in my opinion.

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by AceAri8 View Post
    I really don't tolerate people that smoke in my presence, but I must say it's a bit hard with close friends. Although most are considerate and smoke outside and away from me or downwind etc. But some occasions it does bother me depending on who it is I may say something or just move.

    My conundrum is: What do you do when people come to visit you at hospital or at home when you have your newborn and they are smokers? I am currently 34 weeks pregnant and I think about this. I have a couple friends in particular that smoke that may visit me (when i'm ready) and I am concerned for the 2nd hand smoke that they may give myself or my new born. I don't think washing hands is enough, it's in their skin and clothes.
    Yes I used to smoke, socially mostly as soon as I got pregnant I choose to quit, for good, and my husband has since quit also..... Which I am very happy about now we can lead a healthier life. I just not sure how you tell people diplomatically not to touch your baby if they have recently smoked?????
    I am hoping that smoking becomes NIL in my group of family and friends then it would only be strangers that I would have to deal with which is much easier.
    I knew someone who told family members- if you smoke, you're not holding my child until you quit.
    Which is fair enough.

    I told DD's paternal grandmother that she wasn't holding her granddaughter until she quit, so she said she did. Then she visited us and lo and behold- she's still smoking. And the ex was too much of a weasel to say 'Well, sorry about that. You can't smoke near our house, and you can't hold your grand daughter." He stayed silent and looked at me... and of course, its' not MY mother so what could I say?

  7. #27
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    Default NYE- stuck with smokers!

    I told my father if he smelt like smoke he couldn't hold DD & so he quit. I also may have sent him a few guilt trip messages about how his new grand daughter will want to know him and play with him but she won't be able to if he was dying of lung cancer...

  8. #28
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    Default NYE- stuck with smokers!

    No one i know smokes pot (and if they started, well i wouldn't have anything to do with them anymore; i wiped my entire group of friends from my life when I was 16 for their drug use and wouldn't hesitate to do it again). Thankfully I don't have any friends that smoke tobacco either, but my sisters and BIL do. And they have no problem with smoking around me while pregnant (not to mention asthmatic!). We usually only see each other at our parents house, but it's still generally a weekly occurrence. But because its not my house, I can't really say "go smoke in the back corner of the yard", and when our baby is born I don't want to have to go inside every time they light up (BIL is a chain smoker so I'd be inside my whole visit!). I don't even want them holding my baby after having a cigarette; I remember cuddling my niece when she was a baby and while my sister didn't smoke inside with the baby, her clothes would still smell of smoke so of course bub always smelt like smoke. its really difficult because of course I want my baby to have a relationship with her aunties, but I also wish I could say that no one is allowed to smoke around her, and if you've had a cigarette since your last clothing change / shower, you can't hold her, but I know that would just ruin our relationship as both sisters are soooooo defensive about their smoking. And mum and dad wouldn't support my argument; they'd just go with whatever would keep the peace, and of course that would be to take my sisters' side. It's such a difficult situation!

  9. #29
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    Default Thank you

    Thanks for your feedback. Much appreciated. It may help me word something that is diplomatic but still makes a point. For me it's friends that smoke but it's getting less so hopefully it won't be too much of an issue. And I think if they take offence then that's their problem. But I can understand it would be more difficult with family.

  10. #30
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    Default NYE- stuck with smokers!

    Quote Originally Posted by JR03 View Post
    No one i know smokes pot (and if they started, well i wouldn't have anything to do with them anymore; i wiped my entire group of friends from my life when I was 16 for their drug use and wouldn't hesitate to do it again). Thankfully I don't have any friends that smoke tobacco either, but my sisters and BIL do. And they have no problem with smoking around me while pregnant (not to mention asthmatic!). We usually only see each other at our parents house, but it's still generally a weekly occurrence. But because its not my house, I can't really say "go smoke in the back corner of the yard", and when our baby is born I don't want to have to go inside every time they light up (BIL is a chain smoker so I'd be inside my whole visit!). I don't even want them holding my baby after having a cigarette; I remember cuddling my niece when she was a baby and while my sister didn't smoke inside with the baby, her clothes would still smell of smoke so of course bub always smelt like smoke. its really difficult because of course I want my baby to have a relationship with her aunties, but I also wish I could say that no one is allowed to smoke around her, and if you've had a cigarette since your last clothing change / shower, you can't hold her, but I know that would just ruin our relationship as both sisters are soooooo defensive about their smoking. And mum and dad wouldn't support my argument; they'd just go with whatever would keep the peace, and of course that would be to take my sisters' side. It's such a difficult situation!
    You make up the rules for your baby. If you don't want smokers to hold bub since they last had a change of clothes then stuff what your sisters or parents think. Your bubs safety is more important than the feelings of people who choose to do an activity which kills.


 

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