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  1. #1
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    Default SIL issue - what would you do

    Have always had issues with my sil but thought they were just directed at me. Apparently not.
    So we've just had our xmas get together and drove five hours to get there. Unfortunately my dd 19 months was quite ill. So ill in fact she slept the whole day so didn't get to open her presents. So we get home and give them to her only to find sil hasn't given her anything. Now this happened for her birthday as well but we thought she may have just forgotten as her engagement party was the same day as DDS birthday party. Last year when dd was 7 months she was very overwhelmed at xmas and didn't know how to open presents so we opened them with her making sure to thank everyone for their gifts. However I overheard sil say dd didn't even appreciate her gift so she wasn't getting her any more. Sil lives on facebook and is always putting pictures on of gifts she gets for her friends son the same age.
    So do I have a right to be angry. I'm 16 Weeks pregnant so maybe I'm just being hormonal.
    DD doesn't understand yet but what happens when she does how do you explain to her that sil hates mum so won't buy her presents.

    Should we be addressing this issue now knowing that sil holds grudges and the relationship is rocky at the best of times or just let it go or be as childish as she is and give her nothing for her wedding present so she knows what it feels like.

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    Default SIL issue - what would you do

    I'd be annoyed!! How rude!!!

  3. #3
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    threechooks is offline If my spelling annoys you that's your problem.... I have better things to do than proofread !
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    Keep being the bigger more mature person. Give gifts as appropriate. Ignore her as best you can.

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    Honestly? I wouldn't do anything. What's the point?

    You should continue to give gifts as and when appropriate. If, when your child is older, they ask why their aunt hasn't given them a present (hopefully this is not something they'll do in front of other people because that's quite rude...) you just say 'because some people don't give gifts' or something similar.

    You can't control this situtation, and trying to do so is going to stress you out for no reason and probably cause a massive barney to boot.

    Just let it go and move on.

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    Could your DH say very innocently to her "oh we cant work out what you gave DD for christmas, that's why we havent thanked you yet" and see what she comes back with.

    It's very rude to ignore a child just because you dont like its mother.

    We have a different situation, my DH's brother and SIL dont give our kids (or their other nephew) presents for Christmas, yet every year I buy presents for their kids. This year we werent together for Christmas so I posted gifts to them and as yet we have not had any acknowledgement from them. I know they received them because my MIL told me that they had.

    My DH and his sister are of the view that we should no longer buy presents for their brother's children, however I think its mean to give presents to just some of the kids. It will be interesting next year because my DD (4 y/o) is at the age where she likes to know what we buy for her cousins and what they give her in return. It will be rather awkward when she pipes up on Christmas Day and says "Mum, X & X didnt give me a present but we gave them presents"

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    She is being wierd, expecting a 19 month old to put on a song and dance routine when opening presents . Just ignore her stupidity.

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    Default Re: SIL issue - what would you do

    Sorry I got lost in the detail. What exactly is the issue?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Boobycino View Post
    Sorry I got lost in the detail. What exactly is the issue?

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    I think she wants her sister in law to give her child a present at xmas/birthdays. But the sister in law wont because she doesn't like the OP.

    I could be wrong?

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    Default Re: SIL issue - what would you do

    Okay yeah it's weird and rude expecting your toddler to put on a show of gratitude but aside from that I'd pay no mind. Gifts aren't a requirement - I wouldn't give if it wasn't with love and wouldn't want to receive out of obligation.

    I'd not tell my kids anything or just shrug if they ask and say aunt sil maybe forgot/doesn't do gifts and leave it at that.

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    Default Re: SIL issue - what would you do

    Um...devil's advocate here...but is there any chance you left it behind? My first instinct would be to ring and ask if there were any gifts left as DD is missing the SIL gift.


 

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