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  1. #1
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    Default Looking for advice..or miracle words :P

    Hi ladies,
    I found this site and thought I would share my concerns and hopefully find some answers. I am 26 years old, turning 27 soon, my husband also 26. We have been married 18+ months and the topic of babies comes up regularly. My darling husband loves babies and kids, adores his Neices and nephews and would make a fantastic dad, but I am just terrified of trying for kids, and I feel I am letting him down, as I just can't say when or even if I want them, some days i do, some I dont at all. I think alot about babies and love looking at baby clothes and toys and thinking about everything you need for a baby etc, but I am terrified of the change to our life, to our personal relationship, our sex life, every little thing I worry about. I have a touch of anxiety and body confidence issues and I just feel like I need all the answers but know I can't get them all first..sigh. I am scared of basically having a baby and wanting to go back to just me and my husband the way we were before. I am scared of what it's like at the other end, of changes to your body, what it's like to have a baby 24/7. We have a wonderful relationship but I am a worry wort. Does anyone else feel the same or have similar worries and is there anything that helps?
    Thanks for reading

  2. #2
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    Default Looking for advice..or miracle words :P

    Ok, I totally understand.
    When I fell pg the first time, it was the result of one night of my husband & i not being careful (so in the back of my mind I knew it could happen) and when I found out, I did freak a bit.
    I asked all the questions you just did. But of course, it was already done.
    I was mainly worried about responsibility, my body, labour and life changing in general.

    As my pregnancy went on, I LOVED it! Pregnancy is fantastic & motherhood is even better!
    My body isn't ruined like I thought, my life is happier and labour made me stronger.
    I say just do it, you will never regret it

    I'm already pregnant with baby 2 (my daughter is 19 months) planned pregnancy & everything this time. It changed me for the better!
    Last edited by Lolakitty; 31-12-2012 at 16:34.

  3. #3
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    I think it's great that you're thinking through all these things before you have the baby and not just "seeing how you go". To me, it sounds like you'll be a sensible and grounded parent, even if it's not right now.

    If it were me, I'd write down all the issues, work out how likely they are to actually happen, and then work out how important they are to you. Work out whether there are potential solutions to each issue and how easy they would be to implement. The list the benefits of having a baby. It might help you think about it more clearly. You've listed a few of your concerns already so you've obviously given it some thought.

    Also, think ahead a bit. Having a newborn is different to a toddler, older child and teenager. I have a 16 month old and find it a lot easier than a newborn but I guess everyone has their own experience.

  4. #4
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    Default Looking for advice..or miracle words :P

    Thanks for your replies!! I have made lists in the past, but I think I will do that again and write down all the things that worry me, break them down into before, during and after! I a list girl. I honestly think the best way for me to get pregnant would to have it happen as an accident as you say, I am not sure, but that would certainly take alot of the worrying and stress out of things, but I have been abit careless with the pill and such in the past and nothing ever happened, I don't have alot of faith in my system working. Thanks for your honest replies, if anyone else has anything to add I would be very interested in hearing from you.


 

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