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  1. #1
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    Default Unequal Xmas presents

    I was quite surprised at what my sister gave our nieces & nephews for Xmas this year. Their mother (my other sister)thought they were not given much compared to my DS. My mother didn't see a problem with it.

    I will try to explain-
    I have 1 DS, sister A has 2 kids under 4, sister B has 6 kids (5-12 & a baby).Sister A & B were much closer to each other then me growing up but have fell apart a bit in the last few years ( very different lives, parenting styles etc), hence I have become closer to both of them separately. Sister B has said a few times not to bother getting her kids much cause it will cost too much or just to give them $5 for their bank acc(there's no way I'm giving them money).

    We all went to mums for Xmas lunch and gave each other presents. DS gets a little box of duplo, plastic noisy guitar and 2nd hand Thomas the tank engine train thing that stores little trains from sister A. Sister B's kids get a board game suitable for 5-8yo and a second hand board game for older kids from sister A. The baby also got a toy (can't remember what it was).

    A few days I was talking to sister B and asked what the kids got from sister A as I had only seen the 2 board games.DS's presents would of cost more then the presents given to the 6 kids. I was quite shocked at the obvious favouritism towards DS. He is too young to notice but the older kids of sister B would certainly notice.

    I also spoke to mum about it but she just defended sister A by saying that is what sister B had asked for( I'm guessing she said to get them board games) and that presents given before hadn't been appreciated ( sister B's kids can be a bit feral and the younger ones esp don't take care of their toys.

    I just shudder to think what Christmases are going to be like in a few years when the kids take more notice of what's going on and see that 1 family gets more then the other.

    Not sure what the point of this thread is but thanks for reading the novel if you got this far !!!

  2. #2
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    bunkx is offline Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections
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    Default Unequal Xmas presents

    We have member of the family that always spend big on one or two of the kids and the others get meh what ever I found while doing my food shopping presents

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    mummabec is offline I could hold you for a million years, to make you feel my love
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    Default Unequal Xmas presents

    That's a bit ick hey. I certainly remember my step grand parents giving us things like socks and jocks while their bio grand kids got cooler presents. Will definitely be an issue when the kids are old enough to tell.

    Even if mum is the one saying don't buy presents the kids probably don't know that.

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    So the other sister's kids got board games and your child got some lego, a plastic guitar and a thomas thing? board games aren't usually cheap and are worth around $30 each.

    Not sure if I'm not reading it right but I would say sister A spent a little bit more on your DS but not much?

    Wait so the new and 2nd hand board games were between all 6 kids?

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    Default Unequal Xmas presents

    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    So the other sister's kids got board games and your child got some lego, a plastic guitar and a thomas thing? board games aren't usually cheap and are worth around $30 each.

    Not sure if I'm not reading it right but I would say sister A spent a little bit more on your DS but not much?

    Wait so the new and 2nd hand board games were between all 6 kids?
    1 board game + 1 (apparently)$2 2nd hand board game between 5 kids. The baby got his own present. While my 1 child got 3 presents all to himself.

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    When I first read it I thought each child got a board game, but then realised when I re-read it it was between them. That's pretty stingy considering what she got your DS

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    Default Unequal Xmas presents

    Yes I find that a bit stingy! I always make an effort to spend the same amount on each person. I know it's hard when there are more people to buy for in each family, but the board games are noticeably different! Especially between 6 children. I would have bought each child a small individual gift and then a board game to share!

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    I think it's a bit stingy, especially as the kids are old enough to notice. I wonder if they felt left out or anything?

    Maybe next year you should all agree on a $10 limit to make it fair on all the kids?

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    Default Unequal Xmas presents

    My family do a kris Kringle type thing where each family has two adults and one child each to buy for (just works out with numbers as my brothers don't have kids yet). There is a $50 limit for adults and a $20 one for kids. It works brilliantly because you know you will only spend $120 in total, and all the presents turn out fairly. Maybe you could suggest this to your family?

    As for the favouritism, I'm not really sure what you can do about it now... It's awkward, but it's done iykwim?

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    For Christmas we (all the aunts/uncles) put in an equal amount of money which is then divided equally between all the kids. Saves the trouble of having to buy a whole lot of presents and eliminates favouritism.

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