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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by London View Post
    I do believe though that if you stay with them and work through it, you CANT use it against them in the future. You need to be able to let it go and try move forward.....yes, he did wrong but you cant punish them forever for it. If you do, then there is animosity and leverage and you cant stay together.
    I do actually agree I think if you stay you have to try to move forward. but I think many intend to do that, and don't throw it in the cheaters face to win points but rather bc they simply can't move past it. So I think there's a difference between wanting to forgive and actually being able to.

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  3. #12
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    Default Re: How do you get over being cheated on?

    For us it took 3 years apart but we kept talking and worked on every thing we could during that time.
    We were in different countries for that time but due to what happened I know he was not with anyone else in that time.
    I still get flashes of what happened and we both get reminded by some things.
    We just decided we would make it work and we have.
    We talk about every thing. If we can't then it's over. We both know that.

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  5. #13
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    Default How do you get over being cheated on?

    Quote Originally Posted by shelle65 View Post
    Both parties have to be 100% committed to doing whatever it takes to rebuild trust. When I took my ex back after he begged, grovelled and promised the world, he seemed to think that that was the end of it - once I had taken him back I had forgiven and forgotten and he could pretend it never happened. Nope, doesn't work like that buddy
    Unfortunately I could have written this. I want counseling, we can't afford it. Sometimes I love DH, sometimes I hate him.

    I KNOW he is truly sorry for what he did but it doesn't mean sh!t on its own.

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  7. #14
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    London is offline “I think we're losing our sense of humor instead of being able to relax and laugh at ourselves" - Betty White
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    I do actually agree I think if you stay you have to try to move forward. but I think many intend to do that, and don't throw it in the cheaters face to win points but rather bc they simply can't move past it. So I think there's a difference between wanting to forgive and actually being able to.
    Absolutely. Its not an easy thing to do. I have forgiven him but I will never forget. We could never be together again because whilst I believe he wont cheat, I know for a fact it will always be at the back of my mind and I cant deal with that.

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  9. #15
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    Default How do you get over being cheated on?

    Well I didn't cheat physically but I hate to admit I did emotionally and DH has forgiven me but brings it up on the odd occasion (usually arguments) which really makes me angry.

    He always says he is over it but by the fact that he still brings it up 3 years later it obviously still bothers him

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  11. #16
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    I went out and cheated, too.

    At the time, I felt a bit better because I knew I had hurt him back ... We were young, what can I say? ... But really, it hurt me knowing I had intentionally hurt him.

    It really was stupid really as we had both not only hurt each other but put each other's lives at risk.

    These days, I do not tolerate cheating (along with other things I consider deal breakers) AT ALL.

    Good luck to you! X

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  13. #17
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    Default How do you get over being cheated on?

    Waterlily excuse me crashing, I javent Been in this position but have had other issues with dh in the past and we saw a counsellor through relationship Australia who charge based on income and ability to pay so perhaps that is something to look into ?

    It's a shame there isn't much more services available as it would certainly be cheaper than the cost of family breakup

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  15. #18
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    Yes surely a few free sessions for a couple wanting to work thru cheating would be cheaper than mediation and extended court visits. Even if the relationship still ends, the counselling may mean things are a bit calmer so the couple can bypass the court system.

    The govt has never been good at looking at early intervention on any level though

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    Default How do you get over being cheated on?

    Quote Originally Posted by Chew the Mintie View Post
    Waterlily excuse me crashing, I javent Been in this position but have had other issues with dh in the past and we saw a counsellor through relationship Australia who charge based on income and ability to pay so perhaps that is something to look into ?

    It's a shame there isn't much more services available as it would certainly be cheaper than the cost of family breakup
    Thank you so much. That's very helpful!! x

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  19. #20
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    Default Re: How do you get over being cheated on?

    Quote Originally Posted by London View Post
    I kind of just carried on like normal....but honestly, I never forgot it and never will. Saying that we arent together anymore but I didnt leave when I found out about all the times it had happened.....I should have, but didnt.
    This was me. I was pregnant and scared, i tried to pretend it didnt happen but after 3 months I couldnt do it to myself so I moved out and we became an 'on again off again' couple for 2 years while he continued to cheat. still to this day (almost 6 years later) it hurts. I have a new partner now I am scared of commiting, moving in etc. because of my past.

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    Last edited by mummyrissa; 30-12-2012 at 17:36.

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