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    Default How do you get over being cheated on?

    So for those who have been cheated on, but remained with the unfaithful spouse, how did you move past it? Was it just time, or is there some trick to your heart being put back together?

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    London is offline “I think we're losing our sense of humor instead of being able to relax and laugh at ourselves" - Betty White
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    I kind of just carried on like normal....but honestly, I never forgot it and never will. Saying that we arent together anymore but I didnt leave when I found out about all the times it had happened.....I should have, but didnt.

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    LifeInShadesOfGrey is offline Just a little bit silly :)
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    Default How do you get over being cheated on?

    It's different for everyone. I think counselling and time can help great deals. I've been cheated on and didn't stay with ex. But I know a few people who with hard work made relationships last and work even after someone had cheated.

    If you still want it to work, it will. But can take a long time to rebuild that broken trust. You can learn to forgive.

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    Default Re: How do you get over being cheated on?

    Open honest communication. Knowing why it happened - In our case it was a combination of stress, neglect and insecurity. We now make an effort to care more and talk more. Plus I can always get DH to do housework by mentioning that I didn't cheat

    Seriously though, communication and both being dedicated to improving the relationship is the only way

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    Both parties have to be 100% committed to doing whatever it takes to rebuild trust. When I took my ex back after he begged, grovelled and promised the world, he seemed to think that that was the end of it - once I had taken him back I had forgiven and forgotten and he could pretend it never happened. Nope, doesn't work like that buddy

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    The relationship with my ex went on about another 9 months after I found out about the first cheating incident. But it was doomed. I no longer trusted him and I felt spineless for staying with him so it killed my self esteem as well.

    I'm not sure what the answer is. I don't think I could ever move past cheating long term. It's my main deal breaker and even if I wanted to forgive and move on I just couldn't look at him the same anymore without thinking what he had done.

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    Default How do you get over being cheated on?

    Quote Originally Posted by shelle65 View Post
    Both parties have to be 100% committed to doing whatever it takes to rebuild trust. When I took my ex back after he begged, grovelled and promised the world, he seemed to think that that was the end of it - once I had taken him back I had forgiven and forgotten and he could pretend it never happened. Nope, doesn't work like that buddy
    Exactly!! Only I haven't forgotten, or forgiven either really

    You both have to want it more than anything else in the world IMO

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    Default Re: How do you get over being cheated on?

    I don't think you ever get over it 100%. The memories and hurt will always be there in the back of your mind.
    Even years later, something will spark those memories and emotions that come with it.
    I could never rebuild the trust either.

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    I do believe though that if you stay with them and work through it, you CANT use it against them in the future. You need to be able to let it go and try move forward.....yes, he did wrong but you cant punish them forever for it. If you do, then there is animosity and leverage and you cant stay together.

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    Default How do you get over being cheated on?

    Quote Originally Posted by London View Post
    I do believe though that if you stay with them and work through it, you CANT use it against them in the future. You need to be able to let it go and try move forward.....yes, he did wrong but you cant punish them forever for it. If you do, then there is animosity and leverage and you cant stay together.
    100% agree. The subject is taboo in this household.


 

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