I've been wondering about why some relationships last on and on for decades
while others last 1 or 2 years.
obviously my interest is in the factors that can make a relationship last decades rather than short term
I think about this as i know alot of good quality people who seem to have alot of 2 or 3 year relationships
here are some possibilities i've come up with but i'd like to hear more from others about this.
3 if you dont live together its easier to get over negatives and keep going on and on
4 some people dont move on quickly when they should, or when maybe others would
they focus on the good and love that so much, when they should be running from the bad,
while others move on faster when things go back or when there are fights
maybe they hope for longer than others that things will change
maybe the good keeps them in it despite the bad
5 theres something keeping one or both of them there, finances, practical help, friendship, so even if theres bad they keep coming back
6 some couples move very fast to spend alot of time together and then once the initial hot attraction fizzels they dont know how to move on from that first initial romance stage, to the next stage of long term relationships , and so they think something is wrong and keep looking for the initial high of the first 2 years of a new romantic relationship , thus they have a string of 1 or 2 or 3 yr relationships
7 kids involved
8 sometimes it can take years to really absorb the bad and that it wont change
or to see repetitive patterns and realise the bad over time,
9 dr phil says letting the other save face in fights rather than really putting them down
10 flexibility , not rigid rules, eg that both can do alot individually so both dont have to do huge amounts of things together on and on for years despite the ups and downs of life
flexibility to navigate all sorts of changes in each other, jobs, kids, pressures
11 both feeling they are gaining enough and not losing too much in any way that both benefit in some way and both dont feel too pressurised or too many losses in too many ways
i'd love to hear more thoughts pls.
12 they fight but it doesnt destroy everythging they still keep at it despite being at odds at times for some things, maybe they stay away from each other a bit whether for some hours, days or weeks but they come back to it and keep plodding along and enjoying the good
13 people who are more game to move on and try again with someone else hoping it will work better as aposed to those who feel that anyone will have good and bad and they feel theres enough good and not enough bad to make them feel the grass is greener on the other side
14 some people have lots of energy and maybe success at dating while others find dating very hard, or have other factors that make them feel its too hard to move on, work , kids, weight,