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    Default Whinge about women who think your BFF is their BFF.... Childish vent

    So my best mate (of 10 yrs) is close to delivering her 2nd child. I was out of the state with my own new baby when her first child was born, and so wasn't part of her process last time around.
    This time, I have asked her if she plans to tell me when she goes into labour and keep me informed as best she is able to, because I want to be there for her without being physically there, which she doesn't want or need.
    She brushed me off a bit because she's been getting bombarded with demands from a workmate of hers who I have always considered psycho. Ie, she wanted to be IN the room with her or at least get a personal, private text message immediately after the baby was born, before they told anyone else.
    So this nutter is interfering with my position as BFF and it ****es me off to the max. Please, share your stories so I know there's other crazies out there lol

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    Default Re: Whinge about women who think your BFF is their BFF.... Childish vent

    Hugs. I have been in that position before. Just keepbeing your wonderful supportive self and the strength of your friendship will see you right. Your friend may feel flattered by the attention for the moment but if this person is not respectful of her space in the late stashed of pregnancy and in the really days with the new bub your friend will see that it maynot be the kind of friendship she wants.

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    You want your friend to contact you with updates WHILE she is in labour?!? So you can be supporting her? Sorry, that doesn't sound very supportive. That sounds like a drain on her while she should be focusing on her labour and her needs, and really only serves to make you feel better.

    I could definitely be wrong - but I interpret it as your friend trying to brush you and off and giving a subtle example as how your behaviour is a bit extreme! This work friend and yourself are both being a bit full on, maybe she was trying to subtlety ask you to back off a bit?
    Last edited by MamaNurture; 29-12-2012 at 05:59.

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    Default Whinge about women who think your BFF is their BFF.... Childish vent

    Perhaps you friend brushing you off has nothing to do with the other lady... And everything to do with the fact that giving you updates while shes in labor would be a big fat pain in the ar$e!

    My advice: in this time of need stop smothering your BFF, do things she needs as opposed to what you want to do to feel better about your relationship. Don't worry about the other woman. Just be the best (non pushy) friend you can be and if it's meant to be your friendship will work out.

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    Your friend knows that you will be there for her but if someone told me they wanted regular updates I would just feel pressured, sorry.

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    Yes, I think I would feel a bit pressured if my BFF wanted to know the second I went into labour, and to be kept updated!

    I don't see the role of a BFF as to be the number one person who knows everything 'big' the minute it happens - not unless you both want that same thing.

    Surely the role of a BFF is to be there for your friend as she needs you. So if she wants to take things at her own pace in notifying you/ people, then that's what works for her.

    As an example, when my BFF got married she wanted all the bridesmaids to accompany her on lots of shopping trips for her dress. It was important to her to share that with me, and other close friends.

    When I got married, I didn't want to do that. I chose my dress by myself, and didn't do all the shopping trips/ girly get togethers. My BFF was initially not happy, as she had thought her role was to be there with me for that, but she also understood that I had done it the way that I wanted to.

    To me that's ideal. We had different views on what it would be like when we got married, and what things we wanted to do (with friends), but we respected what each other wanted, and accepted we did things differently.

    What I'm trying to say is that your idea of what your role would be in this instance may be different from hers.

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    Default Whinge about women who think your BFF is their BFF.... Childish vent

    I think she may have brushed you aside as she feels pressured and its not actually the fault of the "psycho".

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    Default Re: Whinge about women who think your BFF is their BFF.... Childish vent

    Quote Originally Posted by Marepoppin View Post
    So this nutter is interfering with my position as BFF and it ****es me off to the max. Please, share your stories so I know there's other crazies out there lol
    Interfering with your position as "Best friend"? As adults it IS possible to have more than one" best friend" and your "position" will be determined by your friend.... Is it possible she doesn't view you as her best friend any more?

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    Default Whinge about women who think your BFF is their BFF.... Childish vent

    ^^ nope it's not possible, thanks tho.
    I have had another talk with her and apologised if I made her feel pressured when that wasn't my intention and now we both understand how she would like this to proceed. Which includes how she would appreciate the nutter backing off entirely, for those who were interested.
    I did say in the title of the thread that this was a childish vent. I don't need anyone suggesting I behave like an adult when I already admit I know how I am acting. Thanks for taking an interest anyway


 

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