+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 21
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    NSW
    Posts
    1,548
    Thanks
    323
    Thanked
    713
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default *Spin Off* For the guys only! Men present at birth.

    Yes I know its a girl starting this thread. I have been reading through another thread where the girls are discussing an article written by a prominent Obstetrician. He says that maybe its not such a good thing that men are present at the birth of thier children. That it can disrupt the mothers hormones thereby prolonging labour. That it can damage the relationship between the parents and that men cant cope with the trauma of seeing their loved one go through all that.

    Its been quite an interesting discussion between the ladies but I really would love to know the guys point of view on this. Is the expectation that men will be there when thier partners give birth putting too much pressure on the men? Or is it only fair that a man stands beside his partner through all this? I would love to know as I am about to have my first baby and would love my partner to be there but not if he is going to be really uncomfortable with it. I dont want to pressure him or make him feel like its his duty.

    Plus, I am just really curious as to what you dads (or dads to be) have to say on the issue.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    163
    Thanks
    9
    Thanked
    143
    Reviews
    0

    Default *Spin Off* For the guys only! Men present at birth.

    I can't imagine why any man wouldn't want to be there for the birth of his child.

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Northerly For This Useful Post:

    Chew the Mintie  (28-12-2012),MonkeySeeMonkeyDo  (08-11-2013)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    356
    Thanks
    149
    Thanked
    88
    Reviews
    0

    Default *Spin Off* For the guys only! Men present at birth.

    I asked my fiancé.. He said there is no way in this world anyone could have stopped him being in that room and he Prob would have punched anyone that tried.

    And he is actually the least violent person I know!

  5. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to CharlieBug For This Useful Post:

    MonkeySeeMonkeyDo  (08-11-2013),shellfisch  (01-01-2013)

  6. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    5,276
    Thanks
    3,697
    Thanked
    3,090
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    (DH's answer below)

    I think some men can find it very difficult, as you're stuck in a position where the person you care about more than anything in the world is going through what looks like a traumatic experience, and there is nothing you can do to help.

    At the same time, it's something that is a fairly unique and special moment, so you'd want to be there as well. I think it depends on the person - you can't have a 'one size fits all' answer.

    I would be there, because I wanted to be there. I'm sure if I hadn't wanted to be there then people would have made comments or been annoyed with me, but I don't care what people think. I was there because I wanted to be there.

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to Guest654 For This Useful Post:

    Ellewood  (28-12-2012)

  8. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    1,129
    Thanks
    193
    Thanked
    148
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default *Spin Off* For the guys only! Men present at birth.

    I've spoken to my husband about this. I feel bad as I'm kind of forcing him to be there because I don't want do it alone. But he isn't sure he wants to be there. He says there is nothing he can do to help and he'll be in the way. Not that he doesn't love me lol.

    I'm going to tell him that whilst I'd love him to be there he doesn't have to be if he's not comfortable.

  9. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    163
    Thanks
    9
    Thanked
    143
    Reviews
    0

    Default *Spin Off* For the guys only! Men present at birth.

    Quote Originally Posted by Teenz View Post
    I've spoken to my husband about this. I feel bad as I'm kind of forcing him to be there because I don't want do it alone. But he isn't sure he wants to be there. He says there is nothing he can do to help and he'll be in the way. Not that he doesn't love me lol.

    I'm going to tell him that whilst I'd love him to be there he doesn't have to be if he's not comfortable.
    But can't he see that he WILL be helping by just being there? You've said you'd love him to be there - I don't understand why he doesn't consider his presence as helping you.

  10. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    163
    Thanks
    9
    Thanked
    143
    Reviews
    0

    Default *Spin Off* For the guys only! Men present at birth.

    Quote Originally Posted by catrules View Post
    Perhaps it's just his way of saying he's uncomfortable without actually saying that.
    Yeah, well, life's about to get a lot more uncomfortable is all I'd say to that. It's (a) the birth of your child (an incredibly special and life changing moment) and (b) your partner wants you to be there. 'Uncomfortable' doesn't wash with me.

    I'll probably just leave it at that and stand by what I said in my first post for fear of being labelled 'strident' or something similar.

  11. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    12,708
    Thanks
    9,557
    Thanked
    12,689
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week

    Default *Spin Off* For the guys only! Men present at birth.

    My hubby's views:

    "whatever the woman wants should be what happens. She's the one going through all the pain and if she wants her partner there and he can't be there because he's got some type of issue then that's not good enough. Unless that is he has a genuine medically diagnosed phobia... Such as a fear of ...vagina's."

  12. #9
    headoverfeet's Avatar
    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    18,954
    Thanks
    3,142
    Thanked
    4,892
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Subbing I'll ask hubby tonight.

  13. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    NSW
    Posts
    1,548
    Thanks
    323
    Thanked
    713
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Northerly View Post
    Yeah, well, life's about to get a lot more uncomfortable is all I'd say to that. It's (a) the birth of your child (an incredibly special and life changing moment) and (b) your partner wants you to be there. 'Uncomfortable' doesn't wash with me.

    I'll probably just leave it at that and stand by what I said in my first post for fear of being labelled 'strident' or something similar.
    I know a lot of women have strong feelings about this which is why I made this spin off thread, so that men can discuss thiers without us ladies discounting thier reasons. I love the ladies that have posted thier husbands points of view without adding thier own. We have the other thread for that. I am not passing judgement on your views but lets keep ours for the other thread so we dont scare all the guys off.

  14. The Following User Says Thank You to Tildy For This Useful Post:

    VicPark  (28-12-2012)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Men shouldn't be present at birth.
    By Janesmum123 in forum General Chat
    Replies: 119
    Last Post: 29-12-2012, 12:59
  2. Present ideas for 16th birthday present?
    By Amira in forum General Chat
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 02-08-2012, 14:59
  3. *Spin off* How much leave (if any) did your DP take after birth?
    By GM01 in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 59
    Last Post: 13-02-2012, 14:45

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Bamboo Lulu
Super soft, fun prints & basics for baby, made from bamboo & organic cotton plus non-toxic wooden toys. • Hypoallergenic - perfect for eczema relief • Everything needed to shop for a baby shower • 10% off + FREE gift with purchase. Use code BUBHUB
sales & new stuffsee all
The Health Hub
Give a new mum a fitness boost for Christmas & New Year. Studio-based, small group training sessions - cardio, strength, core, Pilates & boxing. Choice of 16 hrs per week, flexible-arrival feature - bubs & kids welcome! Gift vouchers available.
featured supporter
Billington Street
For stationery as unique as you are! ♥ Handmade, custom designed stationery for all of life's celebrations
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!