Closed Thread
Page 10 of 102 FirstFirst ... 891011122060 ... LastLast
Results 91 to 100 of 1019
  1. #91
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    1,181
    Thanks
    119
    Thanked
    323
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default TTC 12 months + Chat

    I think it's really inappropriate for people to ask. Would someone say to you 'did you have unprotected sex last night?'? Doubt it!! So why is it appropriate to ask about ttc?

    A lot of people know about us TTC. My work friends know as I had time off for appointments (and we're good friends anyway). My mum knows. My ILs know, we told them we have a MC because we were visiting soon after and the last thing I could bear was 'are you having another one?' Type comments. And my close friends know for various reasons. I kinda wish they didnt, because every convo starts with 'how's it all going'.

    Just caught up with a friend to hear she is utd! I usually get really upset by another's announcements, but in really really happy for her. Our firsts are close in age, so I'd dearly love even more to be utd this cycle so we can have seconds together too.

  2. #92
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    1,181
    Thanks
    119
    Thanked
    323
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default TTC 12 months + Chat

    Oh and 'just like a period' for a MC!!! My a^$e!!! I had an AWFUL time. Once I'd passed everything I was fine, but I felt like my insides were being torn apart!!!

  3. #93
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    SA
    Posts
    3,998
    Thanks
    235
    Thanked
    677
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default TTC 12 months + Chat

    Quote Originally Posted by MissusMac View Post
    I think it's really inappropriate for people to ask. Would someone say to you 'did you have unprotected sex last night?'? Doubt it!! So why is it appropriate to ask about ttc?
    OMY thoughts exactly!!! In my old job before having dd my boss found out I was doing ivf and demoted me. She said it was to "reduce my stress" (even though I asked her not to and I wasn't stressed!). I said to her "so if someone else in the team came in and said they were ttc naturally would you demote them?" Of course "no" was her answer. What makes long term ttc and ivf so different??!!

    She then went and told the team that I had chosen to take a lower position cos I was doing ivf. How to break confidentiality and put pressure on me cos then more people were asking unfortunately I couldnt resign then and there cos I was getting married in a month

    Some people just don't get it.

  4. #94
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    1,181
    Thanks
    119
    Thanked
    323
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default TTC 12 months + Chat

    What?!? That's not cool.

    My old boss knew I was ttc, I told them I was pg as I trusted them and wanted to be honest about my time off for appointments etc. when I hadn't told them I was pg again he pulled me aside for a 'chat'. Amongst other things he asked if I was still ttc, the way he asked was in a friendly concerned kind of way. I admitted I was. I was then overlooked for several positions (promotion) that I'd be perfect for - I was also way more qual'd than the people I who got them over me. After being treated like cr@p several times more I walked out! Left them in a big hole, but man it was satisfying :-)

  5. #95
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    219
    Thanks
    42
    Thanked
    26
    Reviews
    0

    Default TTC 12 months + Chat

    My list of people I've told is slowly growing. But they've all been great thankfully.

    I told my boss and just a couple of people I work closely with. Mostly because I'm a teacher and I can't just take time off easily, I need to take a whole day or have someone cover my grade. She has been fantastic. And she has given me extra responsibilities this year despite the fact we are TTC.

    A few people ask how we are going, but with everyone except my best friend I just give vague answers. They get the hint.

    The only comment I got that ****ed me off was my MIL. We waited ages before telling them because she can be a bit full on. She said she had been wondering if there was 'a problem' or if it was a 'lifestyle choice'. :0

  6. #96
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    SA
    Posts
    3,998
    Thanks
    235
    Thanked
    677
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default TTC 12 months + Chat

    Yeah some workplaces can be so difficult. I've now made a career change and ijjles im a teacher too. I'm finding being a teacher in an area of shortage works to my advantage. Have to juggle a bit but more accommodating to get time off

  7. #97
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    95
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked
    1
    Reviews
    0
    MM - sorry to hear about the BFN - but it's not over yet. Have my fx for you Glad to hear your friend is doing well and hope you can join her soon!

    Waitinghoping - feeling much better thks. Sorry to hear about your visit to your mum's. I agree with you *completely*...if people don't know what to say, they should zip it! My mum's version of this is that every time I say I'm feeling unwell in any way, she looks down at my abdomen - as if she has x-ray vision or something and will be able to see it's because I'm pregnant. It gives me the *absolute* sh1ts! Regarding your demotion - I nearly fell off the sofa when I read that. Seriously, wtf?!?!? And sharing personal medical information on top of it

    greentea - seriously? "you're hardly pregnant"...SHE really say that? Who are these weirdos? If only we had all had a book that prepared us for this stuff...hmmm, there's a business idea in that I'm sure. Haha!

    misstrouble - I get "at least you have one child" (rather than the age thing). While I'm *very* grateful for DS, I think it's very human to be disappointed to not get something you desperately want - no matter what your particular circumstances are. I reckon some people just try to avoid having difficult/sad conversations bc it makes them uncomfortable. Would have thought that a fertility psychologist would have been able to cope though??

    Tormy - for what it's worth, I don't reckon you need to share medical details with work necessarily. All they need to know is that you're not able to work that week and that it's personal. Dunno. I think it's really great to be open but was concerned when I read MM's experiences (*seriously* not right and horribly unfair imho).

    MM - you sound like one strong lass. Good on you!

    Went to a 2nd birthday today and was asked countless times if we're having another child. Grrrr. I think I am going to start giving these folks details about scans, clomid, trigger injections (ooh, and pessaries!) - fight fire with fire I reckon If they want to ask me a deeply personal question, I think I should give them a really personal response that will make them wish they had never asked *evil grin*

  8. #98
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    1,181
    Thanks
    119
    Thanked
    323
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default TTC 12 months + Chat

    Quote Originally Posted by Gizmosmum View Post
    MM - sorry to hear about the BFN - but it's not over yet. Have my fx for you Glad to hear your friend is doing well and hope you can join her soon!

    Waitinghoping - feeling much better thks. Sorry to hear about your visit to your mum's. I agree with you *completely*...if people don't know what to say, they should zip it! My mum's version of this is that every time I say I'm feeling unwell in any way, she looks down at my abdomen - as if she has x-ray vision or something and will be able to see it's because I'm pregnant. It gives me the *absolute* sh1ts! Regarding your demotion - I nearly fell off the sofa when I read that. Seriously, wtf?!?!? And sharing personal medical information on top of it

    greentea - seriously? "you're hardly pregnant"...SHE really say that? Who are these weirdos? If only we had all had a book that prepared us for this stuff...hmmm, there's a business idea in that I'm sure. Haha!

    misstrouble - I get "at least you have one child" (rather than the age thing). While I'm *very* grateful for DS, I think it's very human to be disappointed to not get something you desperately want - no matter what your particular circumstances are. I reckon some people just try to avoid having difficult/sad conversations bc it makes them uncomfortable. Would have thought that a fertility psychologist would have been able to cope though??

    Tormy - for what it's worth, I don't reckon you need to share medical details with work necessarily. All they need to know is that you're not able to work that week and that it's personal. Dunno. I think it's really great to be open but was concerned when I read MM's experiences (*seriously* not right and horribly unfair imho).

    MM - you sound like one strong lass. Good on you!

    Went to a 2nd birthday today and was asked countless times if we're having another child. Grrrr. I think I am going to start giving these folks details about scans, clomid, trigger injections (ooh, and pessaries!) - fight fire with fire I reckon If they want to ask me a deeply personal question, I think I should give them a really personal response that will make them wish they had never asked *evil grin*
    If I hear one more 'it will happen when you relax/stop trying' I'm going to punch someone in the face! No, it won't 'just happen', i don't think immaculate conception is on the cards for me! If we don't 'try' nothing happens!

    I'm also VERY grateful for my DS, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. I had my MC at the very same time as a good friend miscarried her first baby. As devastated as I was, atleast I *knew* I could have a healthy baby. So big hugs the mummas yet to bring their babies home xx

    I have a cousin who comments on almost EVERY fb photo of DS 'must be time for a sibling'. No $h!t!! I'm working on it. I feel like giving her gory details just to make her feel like an @r$e. or the next person that asks me if I'm 'pregnant yet' I will just burst into tears... Which I don't think would be hard to muster haha.

  9. #99
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    219
    Thanks
    42
    Thanked
    26
    Reviews
    0

    Default TTC 12 months + Chat

    Quote Originally Posted by MissusMac View Post
    If I hear one more 'it will happen when you relax/stop trying' I'm going to punch someone in the face! No, it won't 'just happen', i don't think immaculate conception is on the cards for me! If we don't 'try' nothing happens!

    I'm also VERY grateful for my DS, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. I had my MC at the very same time as a good friend miscarried her first baby. As devastated as I was, atleast I *knew* I could have a healthy baby. So big hugs the mummas yet to bring their babies home xx
    Hehe, yeah I've had that thought about immaculate conception too.

    I have to admit the more I have talked to people here and read people's stories, the more I prepare for the worst. It seems like nearly every long term TTCer has had a MC. It's my worst nightmare, to go this long with nothing and then when I finally get my BFP, to lose it. We are TTC #1 so we have no prior success or knowledge that my body can actually do it, so I worry about the BFP never coming, but more than that it feels inevitable that there will be a MC at some stage. I'd be so shattered.

    I'm so sorry for all of you who have gone through that. *hugs*

  10. #100
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    1,719
    Thanks
    386
    Thanked
    208
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default TTC 12 months + Chat

    Hi girls, been just over 2 years here & I just wanted to say don't give up hope don't worry about those clueless people who tell you to relax, go on a holiday, don't think about it, they have no idea. Even after DH & I being diagnosed with fertility problems, each of us.... People still say this crap!
    Also, second opinions is a must, even a 3rd! We were told after 12 months it was DH (& that i was fine) started IVF, miscarried, saw a new specialist & found out its me too - I have endo & PCO.... Starting IVF again!
    Best of luck xx


 

Similar Threads

  1. Breastfeeding Beyond 12 Months Chat
    By demeter in forum Breastfeeding Support
    Replies: 587
    Last Post: 09-03-2016, 14:22
  2. *CHIT CHAT* West Sydney/Paramatta... Chat Thread! =)
    By Huni&Coco in forum Sydney West
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 09-08-2012, 00:09
  3. Msn style chat /chat room
    By jagamoe in forum General Chat
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 27-01-2012, 09:16

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Nice Pak Products
Australian Made and Owned. The Baby U Goat Milk Skincare range is enriched with soothing goats milk sourced from country, Victoria. Goat's milk has a pH level close to that of our own skin and contains natural sources of amino acids and vitamins.
sales & new stuffsee all
The Health Hub
Give a new mum a fitness boost for Christmas & New Year. Studio-based, small group training sessions - cardio, strength, core, Pilates & boxing. Choice of 16 hrs per week, flexible-arrival feature - bubs & kids welcome! Gift vouchers available.
featured supporter
Carmels Beauty Secrets
An online beauty and wellness site which offers simple and effective time saving methods and tips which help you look younger for longer.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!