Not sure if this is the right section...
I am an old hubber undercover..
My husband was married before me and we met 6 months after they had separated, we moved in together 2 months after we had met (big move across the country) and married three years later. There was a time while we were living together that I had found he was talking to her and lied to me about it, he also was talking to her throughout our argument about this and she asked him if she wanted to keep some money aside for him etc. As we were relevantly new into our relationship and she was his wife (although separated) I understood if he wanted to go back to her as they have two children together.
I told him this, I also told him I am happy to leave and let him and her reconcile etc but he refused and apologized for not being honest and fast forward 6 years to a few months ago. We now are married and have a beautiful son and a baby on the way. We see his kids once a year (due to distance and Defence deployments) and have had our fair share of ups and downs regarding access and things (another thread)
Just recently his ex has been causing quite some problems all of a sudden when he was on a training exercise for a month closer to her. (I am at this stage newly pregnant)
Telling DH she still loves him.
telling DH that when she talks to him the kids tell her they want them back together (completely natural for kids)
Asking if him and I were separated.
Offering him a flight to stay with her and the kids as a family and like old times.
Telling him she wants to try again and is so sorry for hurting him while married.
Asking him if he ever wanted a divorce and ever loved her.
Asking if he enjoys s3x with me asking who was better and telling him the kids miss their dad etc.
Just a few... He answered as honestly as he could and telling her what is her business and what isnt. I understand she was searching for closure but I feel weird about it all. Just recently after telling his kids that we are expecting another baby-- she sends him a text asking "who is the father?"
Any advise what to do? I guess nothing as it is really his place to deal with this and I know I shouldn't let her get to me. I married him knowing he had been married before and I love his kids but sometimes I wish I didn't have this extra drama to deal with.
Just after experience from anyone (1st & 2nd partners) on what to do?